just need to get it out

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by cupcake, Oct 6, 2008.

  1. cupcake

    cupcake Mommy of a gorgeous boy!

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    whenever i read about ladies putting their babies to bed at night in their cribs
    or having a routine i want to cry my eyes out. i feel like such a pathetic mom.
    i said id try the crying it out to get him to sleep in his crib but i havent yet.
    im so confused what the right thing to do is. i know that my husband and i need some time together and we dont have it ever. I enjoy the co-sleeping but its got to stop. Hes got to learn to nap without something moving like the swing or carrier. It was all fine while he was a newborn but now hes just stuck in it. I am just at my wits end. I go days sometimes thinking everything is okay but its not. He doesnt have a routine at all. We just go to bed whenever.
    I am just in such a rut , all the books are useless. Nothing works.

    I know i sound so negative , and i am thankful for my healthy, beautiful, happy boy, but as a mother at least in this department i feel really really down. like nothing will ever change.

    :cry:
     
  2. oOKayOo

    oOKayOo Well-Known Member

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    :hugs:

    Well first thing is you have noticed things need to change, you are not a pathetic mum at all , some babies just take abit longer then others to adjust and yours is still young hun :)

    I dont have any suggestions as i havent had a problem with sleep with my two but i did use to CIO method and both have worked perfectly.

    TBH i dont have a routine iether at all with Ella.
    She leads the way and i have found its worked for me and for my oldest.
    I will do routine when she is older, so dont feel you HAVE to do routine.. its not always the case for babies ;) They are so unpredictable :lol:

    I hope someone has some suggestions for you :hugs:
     
  3. pinkmummy

    pinkmummy Guest

    Routine's aren't always for the best hun, if your happy with what you and your little one do then don't worry about it. If your not then maybe try and change little things at a time with naps etc, such as lowering the speed on the swing each time he has a nap until it ends up where it isn't moving.

    Like I said before, you don't have to have a routine unless you want too. It's just that some people prefer to have a routine.

    If you want anyone to talk to hun just PM me :hug:
     
  4. B4byAnge1

    B4byAnge1 Well-Known Member

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    Argh Im with you cupcake..I feel exactly the same, we have practically no routine here, she will only sleep properly on me, or in the bed with me at night, I dont mind too much atm but it will have to stop sooner or later! Remember though, they are still very little really, and all they want is comfort, although its tiring for us! Im aiming to start curbing the co sleeping around 6 months, by that point she will definetly be old enough to soothe herself and I wont feel too guilty about her having to sleep alone!

    :hug: Im waiting on a book coming, the no cry sleep solution or something, so if its any good ill let you know :)
     
  5. frosso

    frosso New Member

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    well my little advice is try not to worry too much about having a routine but how to make things easier for you and your baby. My son is now 2 and until he was 18 months he used to sleep with us in our bed. It was tiring for us and i used to feel like u and people like my family were saying that it was my fault that noureddine was having no routine. BUt slowly he made the big step on his own. He was ready to stay in his bed and he did. I know that 18 months seems too long for you but the point is that when ur little one is ready to settle on his own he will do. My daughte now how is 7 months old hates to be in bed with us and she loves her bedcot and sleeps well through night. Every child is different and try not to feel that you have to do something that don't work for your family. Best wishes
     
  6. cupcake

    cupcake Mommy of a gorgeous boy!

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    ugh hun ive read the book and no offence to the "believers" it didnt do anything for me at all. basically its more for ppl who want to get their baby to sleep thru the night. sleep thru the night?? thats the least of my worries! i just want him to sleep in his crib!!!!!:book::pop::nope::sad2::shrug:
     
  7. Tezzy

    Tezzy Mum of 2 TTCAL

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    awww hun , huge hugs to you. you are NOT a failure, every baby is different.. we are still struggling with rhys co sleeping and hes almost 2!

    please dont let those threads get you down, nobody is trying to rub it in your face. just know that you are not alone by any means! there are plenty of us here who are in the same situation as you.

    maybe we need a 'routine support thread' or something

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  8. Just Visiting

    Just Visiting 1st Baby

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    I have the book "The Baby Whisperer" and it speaks about how to get your baby to sleep in their own crib/cot, etc. Especially after they have been sleeping in their parent's bed.
     
  9. cupcake

    cupcake Mommy of a gorgeous boy!

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    ah tezzy thanks hun, i dont think G-D forbid anyone is trying to rub it in my face, i just feel down when i read things sometimes
     
  10. cupcake

    cupcake Mommy of a gorgeous boy!

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    is it any good? ive lost faith in all these books
     
  11. Just Visiting

    Just Visiting 1st Baby

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    I found the book interesting as there are "case stories" and how they were able to solve them. I am hanging on to the book in the event that my little girl has trouble falling asleep on her own.
     
  12. Tezzy

    Tezzy Mum of 2 TTCAL

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    i get really down too.. even on the 'weight' posts because ffion isnt gaining weight as much :hugs:
     
  13. Samantha675

    Samantha675 Maybe baby #3?!?

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    This is what worked for me. I let Bren lead me in his routine. I started taking note of when he gets tired and needs a nap. I have now learned that about 1 1/2 to 2 hours after he wakes, he will be ready for a nap. He usually sleeps about 30-1 hour, on the odd occasion like this morning he slept for 2 hours. Once he is awake he usually goes about 2-3 hours and needs another nap. Usually around 2-3 o'clock he will take a much longer nap of 2-3 hours. Then by 7 o'clock we start getting him ready for bed. The bed time routine is a bath, then lotion and diaper and then we nurse and lay him down. We are about to move him out of our bed because of the reflux issue and it is killing me. I want to co-sleep, but it just is not what is best for him. I never have pushed a routine, I followed his lead and it makes life much easier. As for the night, well whatever happens usually happens. We are still working on better sleep.

    Also, I don't follow the routine in terms of time, I follow his behavior. Like yesterday, he would NOT go down for a afternoon nap, and after 3 hours of trying off and on, I gave up. If I am having major problems getting him down to sleep, we just leave the bedroom. I usually head to the living room and mill around, watch TV, or something with Bren, then we try again after 15-30 minutes.

    Don't feel bad hun, you gotta do what works for you. Trust me I want to punch the monitor and pull out my hair when people write that their babies younger then Bren sleep all through the night and all they have to do is lay them down and the fall right to sleep. We all have our Achilles heal of motherhood!
     
  14. princess_bump

    princess_bump Happy Wife & Mumma!

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    oh cupcake please don't feel like a bad mum, :hugs::hugs: i too have just followed maddi's own routine and gone from there. im sorry i have no advice i just want to say :hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  15. cupcake

    cupcake Mommy of a gorgeous boy!

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    thanks everyone for your kind words,
    my husband is being really supportive of me and keeps reminding me that everything takes time and it will happen gradually.
    just gotta keep positive :)
     

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