"Just relax and it will happen" - Sure?

[eebee]

I also hate it when people say stuff like that, "your sex life goes to pot" or "you won't have any social life anymore." I think life is what you make it, and just because I have a baby doesn't mean I'm never going to want to have sex again or make it impossible to go out to eat with my girlfriends. I'm not giving up my life to have a baby, I'm dedicating myself to raising that child to be the best I can raise him/her to be. There's a big difference. (if that makes sense to others like it does to me at least! )

That makes perfect sense. We fully intend to still travel and socialise even when we have a little one. We also have two sets of grandparents, my sister and my best friend who've all offered babysitting duties (we'll probably end up with more time to ourselves after we have a kid than we do now cos we'll make the most of it when we do get it! lol!).

 

[ItsMyTyme]

I figure the whole "relax" thing is bogus! i get so angry when someone says im trying too hard! I understand that trying puts a little stress on couples but i've been with my OH for 10 years now and we have used protection only the 1st 2 weeks we were together. we never tried but we werent preventing. still 10 years later after the NTNP and then starting TTC the day we got married i have never once been pregnant, not even late.

it breaks my heart. even as i sit here typing i feel the tears welling up. there are times i dont know what is wrong with me or my husband and after 60 cycles of TTC and my meltdowns every time i get a BFN and lock myself away from the world i feel as there is hope.

There are many women like me and you all and without this site i would probably be a lost soul wondering around the babymaking land wondering and praying why everyone around me is pregnant. (2 of my closest friends who already have kids are pregnant again) yes im happy for them they are like family to me but im still heartbroken. let me break it down for you

My Family......
Brother: younger by 5 yrs just had 1st baby girl born on my side in dec.
Sister: older by 7 has 3 boys 11, 13, and 15 (oh let me mention that she says she hopes im dead and never has kids. long story short she's fertile myrtle and doesnt understand)
mother: has 3 kids was an only child
father: one of 3 even my uncle has 2 of his own

My hubbys fam.....
mother: one of 5 girls had 4 kids every 2 yrs
father: one of 4
Sister in law : has 2 got prego when she was 17
brother in law: has one but went to doc for his son.

everyone of them has told me im trying to hard. and it breaks my heart cuz what is wrong with me? there seem to be no probs for everyone else but me. its not fair!!!!! but even with my ranting dont give up!!! trying too hard is not a thing!!! i refuse to believe it!!!

and sorry its sooooo long lol this has been pent up for a while

 

[hunni12]

I know the feeling i be ready to choke someone, because at the end of the day no one knows how we feel.

 

[Beccaboop]

I've just been told by my ex boyfriend 'not to try to hard and try to relax' Im only speaking to him again cos if feel sorry for him cos his 2 kids have just been taken away by social services I'm not sure why that is but I don't think I need advise from him!!

 

[Beccaboop]

Also he's telling me I shouldn't use opk's but rely on my 'discharge' (as he put it) but my cm doesn't really change so I'm thinking I'm Gunna tell him to shut up cos he doesn't know what he's talking about just cos he's got 2 kids that doesn't make him a woman!! Now I remember why I dumped him!!

 

[samj732]

Also he's telling me I shouldn't use opk's but rely on my 'discharge' (as he put it) but my cm doesn't really change so I'm thinking I'm Gunna tell him to shut up cos he doesn't know what he's talking about just cos he's got 2 kids that doesn't make him a woman!! Now I remember why I dumped him!!

 

[Beccaboop]

Ive just been told to get my husband to feel my cervix and when it's open then have sex!! I don't think my husband even knows where my cervix is (does yours??) but I doubt he could tell if it was open or closed cos most of the time I can't even tell!! I can feel if I gets higher or lower but only cos if it's high I can't reach it with my midget fingers!!

 

[readerwriter]

I also hate it when people say stuff like that, "your sex life goes to pot" or "you won't have any social life anymore." I think life is what you make it, and just because I have a baby doesn't mean I'm never going to want to have sex again or make it impossible to go out to eat with my girlfriends. I'm not giving up my life to have a baby, I'm dedicating myself to raising that child to be the best I can raise him/her to be. There's a big difference. (if that makes sense to others like it does to me at least! )

That makes perfect sense. We fully intend to still travel and socialise even when we have a little one. We also have two sets of grandparents, my sister and my best friend who've all offered babysitting duties (we'll probably end up with more time to ourselves after we have a kid than we do now cos we'll make the most of it when we do get it! lol!).

I guess a lot of the thing is - I know my life will change once we have a kid but I'm okay with that! I'll make compromises, etc but still make time for what's important. Just because things change after a kid, doesn't mean that I'm lucky NOT to have a kid! I hate that my friends say that! If they only knew how hard I was TTC, then they might appreciate what they've got.

 

[ItsMyTyme]

I have this one family member that every single time i even mention wanting a baby she slams a loaded question at me like are you sure you're ready for a child? cuz it gets so hard... but yet as soon as i say i'm ttc she gets her iud out and is ttc as well... i feel like i'm going nuts with the people around me because its like they have no problem at all! they all have kids and it seems pointless to speak to anyone with kids about wanting a child so badly! They don't understand our problems or what we as women with TTC issues deal with.

And as if we didn't know already yes having kids changes everything. if we did not understand that at all or weren't ready for that change then we wouldn't be wanting kids! i will fully give up any social life for a child! to hold that miracle in my arms and know he/she depends fully on me to love them unconditionally no matter what we are put through. i understand what i'm up against and i will shoulder that responsibility happily!!

 

[samj732]

I almost feel guilty because the main reason why I haven't told my family is because I want to be the first one of my cousins to have a baby. That's so selfish of me I can't even believe myself but it's my competitive nature coming out! A couple of them just got married so I'm trying to beat them to the punch!

 

[xxshellsxx]

The best one i had was when 2 very new work colleagues announced they were pregnant within a week of each other... one told me to sit on the chair they both sat on the same day at their interview and i'll get pregnant! really? cause it's just that simple!

I had to walk away because i'm pretty sure slapping a pregnant women is illegal lol (i wouldn't have really slapped her... i don't think...)

 

[ItsMyTyme]

I almost feel guilty because the main reason why I haven't told my family is because I want to be the first one of my cousins to have a baby. That's so selfish of me I can't even believe myself but it's my competitive nature coming out! A couple of them just got married so I'm trying to beat them to the punch!

That is completely understandable!!!! my brother ended up having the first baby girl of the family... and it killed me that for one he just met the girl and got married for the baby and 2 because he is my little brother he isnt suppose to have babies before me!!!

Right now I'm TTC with 2 close friends of mine and one has already gotten prego and the other likes to 1-up !!! but either way i know i can be happy for the one that has already gotten preg. (to an extent cuz she has 2 kids already and me well ive never even been late once!!!) but the other i so badly want to get preg before she does!!! i know its mean but think about it a week exactly to the day after she ends her AF she tells me she thinks she's pregnant already!!! GRRRRRRR this woman drives me crazy and this is the one that constantly tells me to make sure im ready!! (she has one already) and tries to discourage me!!!!

 

[babyhopes2010]

This really annoys me people dont understand unless theyre been ttc awhile.

relax eugh i just wanted to swing for them i tried to relax for yrs

 

[godskid]

Poeple feel that tey are giving a Bigg piece of advice when they say ..."just relax..." ... without knowing that its the last thing we ld love to hear ...
how can someone relax when there we are long time ttc and then surrounded by pg women and mums ... OMG