karma

[foquita]

does anyone believe in karma? I don't know if I do but recently I have been thinking a lot about it, i think because it's easier for me to believe that right now I am paying the pennance for every wrong I've ever made in life and eventually I'll have paid it back and everything will be ok. it hurts more to think that this is just the way things are

does anyone feel the same? am I being totally daft? I really hope there is such a thing as karma, I can't bear it if this is just how things are and will be

 

[mammag]

I did not used to, but I do now. Every time I get angry, and maybe snap at someone. Or do something wrong, the crazy thought inevitably pops in my head that I just ruined my chances for the month. And I thoroughly convince myself sometimes that I'm not pregnant because I'm a terrible person, which I am not. But even if I were, terrible people get pregnant all the time.

 

[PinkPeony]

I think like this too. It's feels a bit nutty to say but sometimes I actually think when I do something nice for someone maybe I'm getting closer to my BFP. I have a couple things I feel guilty about from the past and sometimes I think maybe I'm paying for it. It's part of the 'why me?' thing I guess.

 

[foquita]

that's exactly how I feel pinkpeony, I run through everything I might have ever done wrong. everyone tells me that nothing I've done is very bad and that karma is a load of rubbish, I'm just unlucky but it's even harder to think that. I prefer to half believe that once I've paid back for everything I've done that'll be it, only good things will happen after that!

mammag I always wonder why it's me paying for things when there are people who have done much worse who get everything they want

sometimes I think as well maybe we only have a limited amount of good things/luck, and mine is used up in all the other areas of my life and that's why I can't conceive?

 

[mjemma]

I struggled with this a lot during my 2 years LTTC. I believed in karma but was always stuck with the question that I was a good person so why was this happening to me? I would see many 'undeserving' people become pregnant and found it so difficult to find any meaning in it all.

It got to the point where I felt like I was in one of those movies where you kiss someone and they get all your luck! Please try not to punish yourself for the unfair hand you have been dealt. It's not your fault. I still struggle now to believe in Karma. I didn't do anything better suddenly to get my BFP, it was just my time maybe.