keeping the pregnancy a secret from most people... it takes a toll./:

[thecurlymama]

I'm Emma, 16 and a Jr. in High School. I attend the community college with a program called Running Start which allows me to get my high school credits and also college credits while attending the program.

I left my High School about two weeks before I found out I was pregnant because I felt so weird. Turns out my strange feelings made sense - I was pregnant! haha, either way it was good that I left.

My point is, I don't really see any of the people I used to hang out with. Some of them come over still to hang out with my best friend America who lives with me. She's been my best friend for ten years and she came to live with my family a year ago to go to school with me. Her, her boyfriend and our other friend Terry have been my best friends for the past two years (other than her and I's previous eight years before that). They are the only three people from my old school that know about me being pregnant. My grandparents don't know yet, nor do any of my aunts and uncles.... only my parents, my cousins and a couple really close friends (half of them don't even live in the same state or even country!)

It's taking such a toll on me feeling like I have to hide things whenever I'm around certain people. Even though I want this huge weight off my shoulders, I'm so terrified to tell people. It's not even that I really care what most people think of me, or like I ever have, but all of a sudden I'm just so scared and nervous about what they'll say or think or feel. I feel so f*cking stupid being so scared to tell people because eventually they'll just be able to see it poking out, so obviously I can't hide forever but I wish I could!

I hate this feeling because I never want to be ashamed of my son, but somehow I just feel like the judgement will just rush in and I'll be like the talk of the town for all the assholes who have bad things to say about me.

 

[teenmommy15]

my whole school know and when i say whole school i mean whole school theirs about 500-600 kids in my graduating class alone i wasnt nervous to tell any of them only nervous to tell my mom which went better than i expected but then i was worried about only family finding out i dont want any family knowing eventhough i know they have to eventually and now the secret just keeps spreading further out and further out. my grandpa is really sick and i dont want this on his head but im sure my grandma already told him but since shes so catholic its like me and my baby are an abomination to her , thats they way she looks at me and my cousins no someone of them are helpful something of them dont care what they say i know my family and i know how judgemental and hurtful they are but soon whats done in the dark come to the light.

 

[Feff]

You may be surprised, when I found out I was pregnant I told my parents who told my brothers, then I told about 4 or 5 close friends just for support and they were great then I had my scan, took it to college and showed my close friends in college and just let it go from there lol! Everyone was really happy and supportive and they still are, but I was really scared to tell people like you are so I know how you feel. I'd just tell them and get it over with, even if they aren't supportive it gives then time to think about it and let it sink in

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I know how you feel.. I was very much the same with my pregnancy. I had a hard time telling my parents (luckily they were over the moon about it!) and I just hated telling other people.. luckily all my friends were happy and excited but I just found it really awkward telling others.. like at work I didn't tell anyone until they worked it out for themselves.. I was over 23 weeks by then, but once people knew, although I did get the odd comment or lecture about my age, it was sooo much nice not having to keep it a secret, like a big weight had been taken off!

It's up to you whether or not you want to tell people, it's not being 'ashamed' of your son, I can understand that sometimes it can be a bit awkward because you don't know how people are going to react, but as long as the people who are close and important to you know, that's all that matters! xx

 

[thecurlymama]

The people I'm most worried about are my grandparents. I just know that they're going to feel like I've let them down. I hate that feeling because I've always tried so hard to prove to everyone in my family that I'm hardworking, mature and able to be a good person. All of these things remain true, despite my pregnancy, of course, but I still feel like all of that will just be thrown out of the window when my grandparents (especially my grandma on my mom's side) finds out. She's a high school counselor and I've heard her opinions on teenage pregnancy- It's NOT good . All my older family members always used to talk about what college I'll go to and how I'll travel the world and how I'll be rich and successful. I hate it so much! I don't want all that stuff. Sure, I want to keep going to school and keep taking photos and doing art like I always have wanted to, but I just wish that they would understand that having a family is being successful! My parents have never been rich. We've always struggeld to pay rent on time and we even go to the food bank every once in a while to have some extra snacks around, and money will be hard for my OH and I too when we have our little family... but I feel like as long as I'm happy and healthy that is success!

Ugh. Too much on my mind.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

The people I'm most worried about are my grandparents. I just know that they're going to feel like I've let them down. I hate that feeling because I've always tried so hard to prove to everyone in my family that I'm hardworking, mature and able to be a good person. All of these things remain true, despite my pregnancy, of course, but I still feel like all of that will just be thrown out of the window when my grandparents (especially my grandma on my mom's side) finds out. She's a high school counselor and I've heard her opinions on teenage pregnancy- It's NOT good . All my older family members always used to talk about what college I'll go to and how I'll travel the world and how I'll be rich and successful. I hate it so much! I don't want all that stuff. Sure, I want to keep going to school and keep taking photos and doing art like I always have wanted to, but I just wish that they would understand that having a family is being successful! My parents have never been rich. We've always struggeld to pay rent on time and we even go to the food bank every once in a while to have some extra snacks around, and money will be hard for my OH and I too when we have our little family... but I feel like as long as I'm happy and healthy that is success!

Ugh. Too much on my mind.

I know how you feel in that respect also. I always did well at school and got good grades and everyone in my family was expecting me to go to uni (college), add in the fact that there's never been any other teenage pregnancies within my family! I really did feel like a bit of a let-down. Although people may be dissapointed at first, this will soon fade with the excitment of a new baby in the family, plus you have time after having the baby to show that you will still have a good, successful life and make them proud. xx

 

[thecurlymama]

The people I'm most worried about are my grandparents. I just know that they're going to feel like I've let them down. I hate that feeling because I've always tried so hard to prove to everyone in my family that I'm hardworking, mature and able to be a good person. All of these things remain true, despite my pregnancy, of course, but I still feel like all of that will just be thrown out of the window when my grandparents (especially my grandma on my mom's side) finds out. She's a high school counselor and I've heard her opinions on teenage pregnancy- It's NOT good . All my older family members always used to talk about what college I'll go to and how I'll travel the world and how I'll be rich and successful. I hate it so much! I don't want all that stuff. Sure, I want to keep going to school and keep taking photos and doing art like I always have wanted to, but I just wish that they would understand that having a family is being successful! My parents have never been rich. We've always struggeld to pay rent on time and we even go to the food bank every once in a while to have some extra snacks around, and money will be hard for my OH and I too when we have our little family... but I feel like as long as I'm happy and healthy that is success!

Ugh. Too much on my mind.

I know how you feel in that respect also. I always did well at school and got good grades and everyone in my family was expecting me to go to uni (college), add in the fact that there's never been any other teenage pregnancies within my family! I really did feel like a bit of a let-down. Although people may be dissapointed at first, this will soon fade with the excitment of a new baby in the family, plus you have time after having the baby to show that you will still have a good, successful life and make them proud. xx

I suppose you're right, and it's good to hear that things can get better even though it seems scary right now.

 

[ClairAye]

I live on a REALLY small island, everyone knew by time I was 6 weeks (thanks to my ex-best friends) I was so scared around my grandparents etc but surprisingly my granny said I'm not the first in the family at this age to become a mum.. Then people I went to school with, didn't care, I loved showing off my bump and my boy! I actually didn't get any abuse and if people judge fuck them!

 

[jozylynn896]

I was never one to give a sh*t about any thing any one had to say about me. I wear whatever the f*c k pleases me, do whatever pleases me, say whatever I want wherever I am.
Then I got pregnant. I was so humiliated and scared and what not.
So I guess that's just normal?
I dropped out of school.
If people, even if they were your friends say why didn't you tell us say it was none of your business!
Or "I'm 16 and pregnant don't you think there was other shit on my mind" Lol.

 

[jozylynn896]

Also, when I was born my grandfather fell in love with me.
I'm the only one he picked up from the hospital when born!
He absolutely loved me more than any one. And my grandma loved him more than anything. He passed away when I was five.
And when I fell pregnant I was so f*cking terrified to tell my grandma dude. I was so scared and just idk dude sooooooo scared.
But she said that her husband would lovemy OH and he would love me any way.
And that I'm not the first and I am not the last.
I was so relieved because to disappoint her is just a big no-no!

 

[magic93]

Dont let it stress you out. You might as well jus tell them, they may take it alot better than you think and if not they will come to terms with it. My family all took the news pretty well, as theyve been thru it already. My sister got pregnant at 17 and everyone took it pretty well even my grandma, my mom probablly took it the hardest n my mom took it pretty well with me mabye cuz im 19 n done school n stuff. Anyways my aunt got pregnant at 16, and back in that day my grandma did not take it well at all, times were different and she forced my aunt to give the baby up for adoption. So when she took it well when my sister got pregnant everyone was surprised. Oh yeah and now my sister is 24 and her first son is guna be 7 and she jus had another 1 in december and has done very well for herself so anyone who doubted her she just proved them wrong!

 

[PitaKat]

Hi Emma, I really hope you don't have to keep this a secret much longer and hope your grandparents will take it better than you think they will. Stay strong, Hun.

Also, good for you for doing the Running Start program. I completed that program when I was a teenager too, it was very good for me