Kids and Facebook talk/txt websites

[4 boys]

My son is 12 going on 13.. He doesn't and we won't allow him to use Facebook or those messaging apps,..

His school sent letters home before the holidays cos a free app was been used for bullying, threatening txt messages and I just think its wrong to start something that is not important..

He thinks I'm being mean and unfair cos his 'friends' have it,, I allow him to phone txt his friends but I just think Facebook for kids is too open and unsafe there's so many stories and bad things that can happen and I don't want that to happen..
I said when he's older we'll see but what are your views on this???

Do your children use Facebook or anyone in my shoes ??

Thank you

 

[sparkle_1979]

My 14 niece uses it and I know there are lots of bullying the goes on

I dread the future with my girls and the internet

 

[jenny82]

Hmmm I'm not sure! Obviously my kids aren't old enough, but when they are I'm not sure if I would or would not allow them to use it!

At the minute I use facebook as a way of keeping in touch with family & friends that are far away, but in your son's case, he would have some family and the rest would be school friends right? So he has no need to keep in touch, in that way. Also it really is just a massive waste of time and might cause him to lose his focus with schoolwork, other useful hobbies, etc. I guess I can really see no proper benefit of him using a site like that other than to fit in, which is ridiculous in itself, but when you are a teenager, all you want to do is fit in!

You could agree to let him use it but you have full access to it whenever you want. Like have the app on your phone so that you see updates and messages as they arrive. That way, you can monitor his usage and also any potential incoming nasty stuff as well?

 

[suzib76]

I think it's important to teach our kids that if they are being bullied in any way that they have to tell us and we will tackle it, be it on fb or at school the principal is the same. Facebook doesn't cause bullying, bullies do, all Facebook does is provide another opening to do so. Online is our kids future and I think it's massively important to teach them how to use it safely rather than not allo it or allow free rein. The biggest thing about online is a simple one to teach - there is an OFF button.

My eldest is on fb etc and we have spoken at great length about how to stay safe in the net and I also check what's going on with her regularly

 

[missk1989]

I think suzib makes a good point about the future. My lo is too young now but I hope I can educate him well enough for him to use the internet responsibly.

 

[lhancock90]

I think being taught proper online safety is far more important that withholding certain online accounts. Same for how to handle bullying.
At 13/14 I had MSN and social network accounts that my parents didn't know about. I used them at friends houses.
I think that you can't wrap your kids up in cotton wool all the time and at some point you have to offer a branch of trust.
My kids will be allowed to use the net. Within reasonable times and provided I have access to accounts etc.
My OH works with I.T and he's a bloody whizz. He agrees it's about knowing how to use it safely not avoiding it completely.

 

[curiousowl]

I think I'd want my child to be a little older than 12/13, personally. I'm not sure at that age that they completely understand privacy and how things on the internet are there forever. But I also think it's a personal decision that parents can make based on knowing their own kids and their level of responsibility, etc.

 

[Laura726]

My kids aren't old enough to use facebook or texting yet, thank goodness...

 

[4 boys]

Thank you all for you honest advice,, I do understand the internet is the future and one day he can use the sites but I think now it's not important as he only has close friends in school. I also understand teenagers and privacy etc but like I said he rings and txt his friends and I do trust him I just think Facebook is not necessary at the moment..
My niece is always on it and even though her mum checks etc your still a target as I see it

My son understands about bullying and we have many chats but there's better things to do at 12-13 than stuck on a chat room.

He gets more fun out out of ps3 or playing footy with friends

I suppose you never know how to do things till you actually have the situation

 

[suzib76]

Like i said my eldest is on facebook, she is 12 but it isn't exclusive. She does a power of other things as well, she isn't just sat on facebook etc 24/7. She has a pony that she rides, she goes swimming every week,she goes into town with her friends, and she does that hanging about the streets thing that they do at that age too. So yes there are better things to do, and she still does them

She has it on her phone, so she just goes on and off the same as I do I guess, and she can do that anywhere.

 

[MissRhead]

This is a real fear of mine. My LO is young still but I know how mean kids/teens can be, and the story's in the media about Internet bullying and suicide just terrify me. I want to keep my son of them for as long as possible but it's so hard when their friends will be aloud on it. It's a catch 22 x

 

[Tasha]

It is soooooooo hard to get the balance right isn't it?

The school my children go to had to send a letter home about children being on fb is not allowed, they are in primary school and so many of their friends (older two are nine and eight) have fb and have done for a few years. Obviously no way are they are allowed but it gets trickier at 12/13/14, doesn't it?

 

[alicecooper]

My eldest is 8 and no way is she allowed to be on any social networking sites.

When she gets to around 13...I dunno...we'll see. She'd have to have me and DH on her friends lists though, and she'd have her profile set on private view, and she'd have to ask me if she wants to add somebody to it and I'd either allow her to or not.

 

[4 boys]

By chance this morning news round was on kids channel and they were talking about about cyber bullying mainly Facebook and other social media sites,,
So I think personally I've made the right choice to not let him have it till I feel ready

I know you say they go on it when your there but like they said today kids go in there room shut there door and think there safe but it's not the case I'm mainly talking about the bullying side of it,, you don't always no what goes on and it's not just on PC it's smart phones,tablets,laptops anything were the communication takes place.. Personally there's no point starting something that doesn't need to be started..

I don't want to upset anyone what I've wrote,,, but I think Facebook and social media sites are just a no go when he's older he can make his own choice I think

 

[Yo_Yo]

I dread that age with social networks.

I just don't think kids should have Facebook full stop. Too many weirdos out there and kids can be naive.

I agree on teaching them the safety of the Internet, and gradually giving them more access to things like that eventually though, and monitoring how they use it, but not 13.

 

[Rachel_C]

I'll let the kids have a Facebook account of their own as soon as they're old enough to use it. They'll know that I can check it although I doubt I would unless I suspected a problem and they won't be spending 24 hours a day on there. I'll set it up with them and make sure the security settings are right and they know what the different settings mean and what's appropriate for what audience.

Anything is open to abuse - mobile phones/text messages can be just as bad and they're not necessary but most people allow their kids to have them in high school. I don't see the difference. To me it's important to teach kids how to use these things, how to stay safe and avoid risk and to maintain an open relationship so your child knows they can come to you if they need help.

In a way, I think the younger you let them have these things, the more they 'grow up with it' and it becomes a normal part of life that they know how to use properly and there will be less temptation to use it without you knowing and being able to advise. It's kind of like all technology - I imagine the average 10 year old probably knows more about security settings than the average 70 year old but it's the 10 year old that has somebody saying it's not safe for them, which is kind of the wrong way round!

 

[mummylove]

I think if u teach them the right way of facebook then they will be fine. But then again until im in that position i cant say

 

[nugget80]

My girls dont have Facebook at the moment but once they reach 13 I have said they can but I need to be their friend and have password so I can access their account and keep check . They currently use snap chat and instagram and have shown they can be responsible so I have no issues with Facebook once they come of age. ..