"...kids generally don't go to weddings anyway..."

[sapphire1]

I can see it from both sides really, but they should have given you adequate notice. I took Holly to a wedding when she was 8 months old, and I'd have had a much better time if she wasn't there tbh. I wanted to have a good old boogie and a drink, and couldn't have either. I also spent the whole ceremony trying to keep her quiet, so missed most of it. If we get invited to any more weddings, I'll be leaving her at home lol.

 

[dizzy65]

that sucks..

 

[Betrix]

I get not inviting LO's to a wedding a lot of people don't, but it is just plain inconsiderate to not give a decent notice for the parents to make proper arrangements.

Five months isn't proper notice?

It says when they sent out the invites they also linked to accommodations.

No it isn't if people have to make accommodations. I personally would not attend a wedding where my child was not allowed and some hotels do not give deposits back. So if I book accommodations then have to cancel because you failed to notify me my children were not included in my invite I would be rather annoyed. It is plenty of notice if there are no accommodations or flights to be planned for.

 

[PrincessLeah]

To me a wedding is all about children. They have such a great time. We had children at out wedding (before we had lo) and i wouldnt of had it any other way! My friend got married a last year and said she wasn't inviting children. So I told her we wouldn't be able to go because I wasnt prepared to leave Ben. She has a 3 year old who was bridesmaid so was pretty annoyed about the NO children rule. She 'allowed' me to bring Ben in the end. I understand that everyone is entitled to there own day but it's unfair to ask people to leave there children unless they are willing to do so.
I think people get it in their heads that children will ruin the service and run around getting in people's way. Any understanding parent would remove the noisy child and let the couple have their day.

You'd think. I have been to plenty of weddings where there has been a baby cry through the ceremony because it's mother didn't want to take it out, or where noisy children have not sat quietly during the vows.

Also, it is very common for a 'no child' rule at weddings, except for children in the family of the couple. Not saying whether I agree with it, just saying that it's common.

 

[lynys]

I get not inviting LO's to a wedding a lot of people don't, but it is just plain inconsiderate to not give a decent notice for the parents to make proper arrangements.

Five months isn't proper notice?

It says when they sent out the invites they also linked to accommodations.

No it isn't if people have to make accommodations. I personally would not attend a wedding where my child was not allowed and some hotels do not give deposits back. So if I book accommodations then have to cancel because you failed to notify me my children were not included in my invite I would be rather annoyed. It is plenty of notice if there are no accommodations or flights to be planned for.

Maybe things work differently here then, because we have never put a deposit on accomodations. I once attended a wedding out of town, and cancelled on the original planned accomodation, because we were offered a place to stay the day before the wedding.

 

[Moomette]

Thanks for all your replies ladies, didn't realise I'd get so many.

I do fully appreciate that weddings are expensive and they can do whatever they like for their day. I guess the thing that got to me the most was that they didn't just tell us from the start that no kids were going to be invited, going as far as talking about the nieces (LO included) being flower girls at the wedding. In fact we still wouldn't know about it had DH not overheard somebody else talking about it, after which I confirmed it with the couple themselves and passed the info on to other BIL and his family, who will also now need to decide whether to just send BIL to attend on his own. However, as I said before, we were lucky enough not to have booked our accomodation yet, so at least didn't end up losing hundreds of dollars on that.

 

[Lu28]

I'm always amazed when people get their noses out of joint about kids not being invited to a wedding. The wedding is about the bride and groom, no-one else. If they have a kid of their own and don't want to invite any others then that's fair enough, it's their day. From their perspective, they just need to understand that some people may not be able to make it because of not having kids.

I didn't have kids at my wedding except for a newborn belonging to my SIL who was also my bridesmaid so I thought that was a fair exception! I detest kids at weddings, it is my idea of a nightmare to be honest and I maintain that view now that I have a child of my own I haven't been able to go to two of my cousin's recent weddings because kids weren't invited, that's just how it is and they understood why I couldn't go so there were no problems.

I also haven't heard of people putting down depoits on accomodation 5 months in advance so again, unless they knew you would be out of pocket, I don't see the problem personally.

 

[shambaby]

it is absolutely their choice whether or not to invite children to their wedding, but a bit misleading to talk about having children as flower girls

personally, though, i think children can really make a wedding. and that, whilst the bride and groom are of course the focus of it all, a wedding is about more than just a couple in isolation. it's about family, and celebrating with loved your ones, and so many of the people i love are children. i couldn't imagine not inviting children to my wedding, or knowingly preventing members of my family, or friends, from being able to go because they couldn't bring their children. at our wedding we had a bouncy castle and games for the children (and adults, lol!), to keep them entertained at the reception, and they were the first ones to get up and dance at the disco, breaking the ice for everyone else. apparently my nephew, who was 1 1/2 at the time, cried during the ceremony, but i didn't notice, and my bil took him outside until he calmed down.

of course, this is just my personal opinion, and i understand that not everyone feels that way, but those people will have to understand that not everyone will be willing or able to leave their children with someone else to attend their wedding, especially if it means being away for a couple of days.

 

[Betrix]

I get not inviting LO's to a wedding a lot of people don't, but it is just plain inconsiderate to not give a decent notice for the parents to make proper arrangements.

Five months isn't proper notice?

It says when they sent out the invites they also linked to accommodations.

No it isn't if people have to make accommodations. I personally would not attend a wedding where my child was not allowed and some hotels do not give deposits back. So if I book accommodations then have to cancel because you failed to notify me my children were not included in my invite I would be rather annoyed. It is plenty of notice if there are no accommodations or flights to be planned for.

Maybe things work differently here then, because we have never put a deposit on accomodations. I once attended a wedding out of town, and cancelled on the original planned accomodation, because we were offered a place to stay the day before the wedding.

We had to cancel reservations for a visit home and they kept our deposit of $100.00 a while back and when we take our trips to Disney you have to give your cc number in advance and agree to a termination/deposit fee if you cancel that hotel. I know the majority of B&B's around here are the same way. That is really the only reason it would annoy me. Honestly I can understand why a person would want a child free wedding it is probably a lot quieter and more fun for the adults without children underfoot. However since I live three hours away from my family to ask me to make accommodations without telling me children are not allowed seems rude to me. I would either have to pay a sitter, cancel my accommodations and pay a fee or pay for accommodations and a sitter.

 

[lovehearts]

My sister had a childless wedding earlier this year. I was bridesmaid. LO was invited in the end but only because the only people who we trust to look after LO over night were going to the wedding (my parents) so it was either he come or my husband stop at home! No other children were there. I know a few people were upset by it but it was my sisters choice and they spent a lot of money on that day. To be totally honest I hardly saw my LO or husband all weekend. My LO was cutting molars and he was a nightmare typical really.

So next time someone has a childless wedding I won't feel put out again, I didn't invite anyone to my wedding so I can't really complain

X

 

[jenny82]

Is a child meal the same as an adult meal when booking a wedding? Like, if an adult meal is £60 per head, is a child's also £60? They might have backtracked on their child stance after seeing how much it was going to cost them :/

My close friend is getting married next month. Theirs is childless but only because there aren't any kids in the family. I did not complain - I'm looking forward to a day out with my OH, just us on our own. Maybe when they're older I'd consider it, but for me, weddings aren't for babies..

 

[dani_tinks]

Ours was quoting the kids dinner as the same price as an adults.

 

[wendzwoo]

I think it is a personal choice but should have been made clear when they invited you. Also telling your LO they are a flower girl then not inviting them is horrible.

We get married next year and i can't wait to have loads of kids running around but that is my personal choice.

The kids meals at my wedding are cheap as well so doesn't make much difference.

 

[RachA]

Is a child meal the same as an adult meal when booking a wedding? Like, if an adult meal is £60 per head, is a child's also £60? They might have backtracked on their child stance after seeing how much it was going to cost them :/

My close friend is getting married next month. Theirs is childless but only because there aren't any kids in the family. I did not complain - I'm looking forward to a day out with my OH, just us on our own. Maybe when they're older I'd consider it, but for me, weddings aren't for babies..

For our wedding it was the same for a child as an adult. That was what made it cost prohibitive for us.