Kids with big age gap

[supernurse]

Hey, just wondering if there's anyone that have a couple of children with big age gaps and how the older one dealth with having a new brother or sister.

My daughter will be 8 when her sister is born and although she is very excited about it, not sure what she'll actually be like when the baby comes.
Also I find myself getting upset at times because it's been just her and we give her everything (not spoilt though) I mean love and attention, she's still my baby.

Thanks xx

 

[fifi83]

I feel the same towards my little boy who is 6 i love him so much, he is excited for the new baby too, but dont no how he will be when baby comes, the way im going to try and deal with it is invole him as much as i can with the baby i.e when vistor come make it special that he shows them the baby and talk about the baby helps with feed, bath time ect.

I do think in the long run it will be good for our children to have a brother or sister. Ive been upset a few times myself.

 

[anita665]

My LO will have a half sister who is 8. She seems to be looking forward to it.

I think at that age it's great because they're old enough to understand whats going on and not get jealous like a toddler would. They can be more involved so they don't feel left out.

 

[Jo]

Emily was 7 when i had Jack, I had all the feelings, would she be jeleous etc...
But she was brilliant, a great little helper and loves him to bits, she was/is also old enough to understand that they need that little bit more attention, i have to admit she was left to her own devices sometimes but i tried to split my time and attention equally even though it is hard at times

It is only now that he is 2 that the novelty has worn off and she finds him a bit of a pest at times, but i think that happens with all siblings really

 

[Samo]

My DH is 21 and his youngest brother is 8! DH is GREAT with kids though, loves babies, maybe even more than me! He has a lot of experience taking care of little ones since he is the eldest of 4.

I gotta say though, his little brother "never acted his age" since I've known them (met DH when his brother was 4), since he had so many older siblings he hung around with. I remember when he was 5 he would say he was age 17...

 

[Bambi]

I'm going to have a 12 year age gap.

My son seems to be excited at the prospect of being a big brother at the moment I just hope he's as excited when this little one is here

 

[Ellianna]

There's a 26 and a half year age gap between my eldest brother and my youngest sister.
I wouldn't worry hun, I'm sure it'll be fine

xx

 

[supernurse]

I think I'm just being silly, I know that Rachel will love her new sister to bits and she will be a great help.

I just never thought that I would have another one after her.

x

 

[Tam]

Jade was 8 when Alfie was born.

During the pregnancy she was really excited about having a brother, and kept on about it all the time. Then the day I had him, apparently my sister told me she was very nervous about coming up the hospital to meet him and see me and Paul. So my sister took her out so she could buy us (mummy & Daddy) a gift from her and a card, which took her mind of things and gave her something to focus on, (we never knew any of this at the time).

She very cautiously walked into the room and came and gave me a cuddle and I encouraged her to go and look at Alfie (I think she was a bit shy too) so she did, and tbh none of us have looked back since.

I was the same as you, I felt so sorry for Jade being so much older and thought she would feel left out, so I made a conscious effort to involve her in everything from the start, which included an imediate hold of Alfie to have a cuddle.

There was the initial bit of feeling left out when he was very young, but we just explained that at this age he needed everything doing for him as he is so small, but it wouldn't always be like that. We also made sure she was never left out, so I think that was more about her adjusting to having a sibling and not having 100% attention to herself.

We bought Jade a little present and said that was from Alfie, who is so happy that you are his big sister......that went down very well.

I also promised her that we would go out on a saturday or at times for a coffee on our own (without Alfie) so we could still have 'our' time together.

She has loved every minute of it, she even wants us to have a little girl now. So I really think your LO will be great hun, I truely was worried, but she absolutely dotes on Alfie, and he gets all excited when she comes home from school or when he sees her first thing in the morning.

At the moment, they both spend a lot of time crawling about on the floor racing, which is ace as it has Alfie in hysterics and it is keeping her busy and is all good for their relationship.

I am sure you will have as much enjoyment watching your kiddies together, as will your daughter having a sibling around. x

 

[Amanda]

Kayleigh's 15 in 7 weeks, and Charlie's 18 months, so I think you can call that a rather big age gap!!

She is brilliant with Charlie - a proper little mum. She's always wanted a little brother, but I was worried the novelty would have worn off my now, but it's not. In fact, he's sitting on her knee on the other sofa at the minute reading a book!

 

[darkheaven77]

my oldest whos 13 loved my twins there 4 now so she was 9 she was like a second mum to them and now in on my 5th well there will be a huge age gap but there all looking forward to helping me out lol it seems to fall into place so dont worry hun

 

[Rachiebaby24]

When my mum had my little brother, my older brother was 14, I was 12 and my sister was 10....my mum was worried how we would handle sharing her even more (she is a single parent) but we all settled together fine and we all have such a close bond with my little brother.... we were very involved from the start and my mum made sure we felt included at the fun things like bathing and feeding!! Friends and family were also told to "make fuss of the older brothers and sisters" so we didnt feel left out at all the attention the baby was getting!! we all got Congratulations You are a Big Brother/Sister cards from friends and family which was nice when everyone came to see the baby with cards and presents! Little things to make her feel included will be great and also you and her time when the baby is asleep...even painting each others nails is great if your tired!! dont worry....every thing will be fine....!!!

 

[cheeky_carrie]

Mine are 12 , 7 and 11 weeks

When I had my 2nd child I was nervous about the 5yr gap but it was fine he was unsure for a few days just because he was so small but after that I was having to tell him to stop hugging and kissing him too much


Have to say this time its I worried more coz its a different Dad (even though they both call my OH Dad now) and because the gaps bigger and Ive forgotten everything, but I think I shouldnt hav worried they both wanted a sister and luckily it was and they are brilliant with her. My 7 year old was a bit off with her when she 1st came home and I thought oh noooooo, but the next day I was washing up and came back through to find him reading her a story holding her hand and I knew then everything was ok and my 12 year old is an absoulte star helps me out so much its great

 

[Supamum]

I have a six year age difference with my kids. Like Tam I made sure my daughter was included from the beginning, she even went to a few scans with us. She helped pick clothes and stuff and was excited from the off set. She did get a bit weepy while I was in hospital but I think she was a bit worried about mummy coz I had a c-section and wasn't mobile on her first visit.

Its been 7 1/2 months since her brother's been born and they get on like a house on fire, they play and laugh together all the time !

I haven't noticed any jealousy to be honest thank God. My advice would be to make sure you spend some one to one time with both of them and you'll do fine.

Good luck hun

 

[Sparky0207]

Ive got a slightly different take on this as I was the elder sibling! Im now 21 and have a 5 year old sister (with no one in between).

I must admit, I was incredibly jealous when I first found out my mum was pregnant - I had been so used to having all my mums attention and thought that I would feel left out after the babys arrival. Mum was great as usual though and made sure that I was involved as much as I could be with the pregnancy and also the baby when she arrived. In fact, I think my stepdad felt a bit left out to start with!!!

I think as long as you involve the other children and make sure they know they wont be forgotten then it should all go well. Mum always made time to do things just me and her it really helped. It seems silly now that I was jealous of my mum having another baby, I cant imagine life without my sister but I was an only child for 16 years!

The only thing mum didnt like was when people went up to her and asked to see her grandchild the look of embarrassment on peoples faces when mum told them we were both hers was classic!!

 

[taperjeangirl]

My daughter will be nearly 13 when this baby is born. At first she was quite happy about me being pregnant, but she soon changed when she went away and thought about how much it will change our lives.
The thing that worried her most was having to share her bedroom (something she wont have to do!)
I wont give you details fo how nasty mouthed she was when she threw a major strop one day as that will just worry you more!
I thought she would have been more interested in the pregnancy but she just hasn't been and I wont force her to be. We have included her in everything so far and she will be there with us for the 4D scan.

To be honest she's a bit spoilt and always has been, by both our families and she probably thinks that will change when there is another child involved.

I personally wish I hadn't left it this long to have another, but our LO is on the way now! I just pray that my daughter will accept the baby when it finally arrives

 

[butterflies]

I hope this offers a little help....

My family is a little complex so i'll try and explain it as best as i can, my eldest brothers we're 13 & 16 when my brother was born and then 3 years later i popped into the world so they we're 16 & 19.
The 16 year old loved us from day 1 aparently and always was close to us growing up (sadly he is no longer with us) but if he was i'm sure it would still be the same now.
The 19 year old, has never liked small babies and kids, but he did love us and still does, he is more than just my big brother now though he is a good friend, and although he lives a 2.5hr drive away and has done since i was 2, he see him lots and are always making time for each other.

My brothers are great and i love them dearly, just as much as i would if they we're similar in age to me, but our bond is great and i know they love their little sister.

Hope everything works out for you, as i'm sure it will

 

[Linzi]

Well theres a 14 year age gap between me and my little brother.

When I first found out my mum was pregnant I was really gutted,I didn't tell anyone though. My other brother (who has a 12 yr age gap with Nathan) went off in a right huff when they told him and it took him a long while to calm down about it.

However the first time we saw Nathan my heart absolutely melted... Simon (me other brother) and I have a really good bond with Nathan now.. we're both at the stage where we can take him out and spoil him. I think I'm more lik an 'auntie' to him than a sister. I wouldn't change our relationship for the world! I love him to bits!

I just think from a childs point of view you think that everything is going to change and your parents will push you out and stuff but when they actually realise thats not going to happen they come round.

From a parents point of view I don't know but I can understand how difficult it must be.

xxx

 

[Lisa1984]

My brothers are 13 & 16 years older than me - we're great friends!

 

[Mummy2Many]

My eldest girls are 8, and they are thrilled about having a new addition - as they are every time! They are wonderful big sisters and get involved in helping out- they always have done, but now they are old enough to help properly, and they love to do it.

But 8 years is nothing - my mum gave birth to my baby sister 3 months ago! I'm almost 23; and have an older brother who's 27.. so that's 27 years between the youngest and the oldest LOL, and 13 years between the 2 youngest!