Hello,
This is my first child, and I think I know how I would like to give birth, I have a beautiful vision of me on all fours in a birthing pool leaning over the edge holding onto my hubby. I'm very good with pain usually, and for both my miscarriages I had contractions that I could sleep through. I am fully aware though that it will be much more painful to go through labour.
Im just wondering what real labour is like? I'm going to try and have a completely natural labour, without medicated pain relief just a birthing pool. has anyone done this?
I can't tell you how excited it makes me when I see first timers who already have an empowered, positive view of natural birth
You are about to run a marathon and as such you need to prepare and train.
In my experience and from observations of 6 years engrossed in the world of pregnancy and birth, the biggest obstacles to achieving natural birth are your own mental roadblocks and unsupportive providers. Your body KNOWS how to give birth. You just need to get your brain out of the way and let it do it's thing. And you need a provider who knows to just step aside and quietly observe and only step in if necessary and just let you do your thing.
I would really recommend that if you want the highest chance of achieving your birth vision to look into a homebirth or a birth centre with a doula present. I don't know where you live, but continuity of care makes a huge impact too through relationship building and establishing trust. So a private midwife is preferable if possible. If a homebirth is out of the question, then I highly suggest a doula who can help you advocate for what you do and don't want in labour. Birth is pretty much the most vulnerable and impressionable state for a woman and it's no time to be having to make decisions or deal with pushy doctors.
Which brings me to the next point of birth plans. A lot of people say don't make a birth plan just go with the flow, but in my opinion that's about the worst advice. On the one hand yes you need to go with the flow because as any mother will tell you birth is unpredictible and sometimes yes things happen that you just need to go with. But on the other hand, just going with the flow takes you out of the river and into a boat someone else is steering and you have NO control. You are completely at the mercy of hospital policy and the doctor or nurses preconceived ideas of birth. And unfortunately hospital policies seldom align with evidence-based best practice.
As an example, the good kind of going with the flow would be if you plan to be mobile in labour and absolutely don't want to be laying on the bed, but at the time you really just feel like sitting or even laying down. Or if something happens and your provider says "so I know it's not what you wanted but xyz happened. here are your options and he pros and cons of each my recommendation is for abc but its your decision" whereas with what really happens more than 90% of the time (being generous) is your provider says "xyz happened so we are doing this". No control.
Also a lot of people confuse a birth plan with a birth vision. "I want to have a drug free waterbirth with dim light and music playing and I don't want an episiotomy and I definitely don't want a cesarean" is the kind of thing most people think of when they hear birth plan, but that's a birth vision. And a birth vision is a great thing to have, but that's oftentimes what people don't want to set themselves up for failure by having. A birth plan is really more like a choose your own adventure "in the event of x then I want a to happen or b if not possible. In the event of y then I chose e"
My homebirth birth plans included hospital transfer plans and the most important things to me in the event of a cesarean etc. By no means should you be expected to become an expert, but just knowing what options are out there and pros and cons and what circumstances might make you choose something you don't want makes a huge difference. And writing it down means you don't have to think about it in labour. As mammals, we give birth best when our neocortex - the thinking centre f our brains - isn't functioning and we are operating on instinct.
In short my advice is
1. if you can, choose a provider who genuinely is supportive of natural birth (ask their stats to back up their claims) and is low intervention. If you don't get a choice hire a doula.
2. prepare mentally. read birth stories and watch birth videos (positive ones are best, especially similar to your birth vision - youtube homebirth, waterbirth, hypnobirth,unassisted birth etc. But in my experience reading all sorts of experieces helped prepare me for alternative outcomes too, and reading other womens experiences and techniques gave me valuabe knowledge about options ad coping skills). Do a hypnobirthing or Bradley method course. practice relaxation skills. Write birth affirmations. Visualise your birth vision (but being open to other outcomes)
3. Write a birth plan and do the research that entails to know your options.
You CAN have the birth you want. You absolutely can. And I really really hope you do
I *love* giving birth. It is so euphoric. I really wish every woman felt the same way about it.
Now for the answer you actually asked for, my experiences.
None of my 3 births met my vision (for instance I wanted a waterbirh with all three and am yet to have one
) but for the most part they were all amazing experiences that still went to "plan" (some with more detours)
My first was induced with syntocinon which I did not want, but I gave birth drug free and yes I did drift to sleep in between contractions, even being 5 in 10 minutes and extra-strong from syntocinon.
My second was a spontaneous vaginal breech birth.
My third was the most amazing homebirth. I visialised a waterbirth at night in my kitchen, with me catching my own baby and lifting him out of the water myself. What I got was a swift afternoon labour and my son was born at the foot of my bed, caught by my husband while the birth pool upstairs was only half full.
