Labour, what is it really like?

[kittykat7210]

Hello,

This is my first child, and I think I know how I would like to give birth, I have a beautiful vision of me on all fours in a birthing pool leaning over the edge holding onto my hubby. I'm very good with pain usually, and for both my miscarriages I had contractions that I could sleep through. I am fully aware though that it will be much more painful to go through labour.

Im just wondering what real labour is like? I'm going to try and have a completely natural labour, without medicated pain relief just a birthing pool. has anyone done this?

 

[smileyfaces]

Everyone's experiences are different and some will say its not that bad whilst others will say its horrific.

If you'd asked me after my first baby i would say horrific. After my second it was slightly better but still awful. After baby #3 honestly not too bad, yes it hurt but i was much more able to cope with it this time round. I had gas and air for all three babies, no epidurals.

Have you looked into hypnobirthing?

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

I had 2 sections then a induced VBA2C. I think they were all fine. My gallbladder hurt worse!

 

[sarah1980]

I don't think anyone can give you a definitive answer to this as every labour is different! Mine was horrific however my friend who had her baby a month after me said although it was painful it wasn't anything she couldn't deal with. I only had one thing on my birth plan - no epidural, the thought of it made me feel sick, I was adamant that was the only thing I didn't want. However, 2 hours and 2cm in to it and I begged for one! This time round I'm hoping to go as natural as possible but I'll go with the flow so to speak!

My best advice to you would be go into it with an open mind and take anything you feel you need in that moment to get you through.

Sarah xxx

 

[Zephram]

As the PPS have said, it really varies. I always kind of laugh when I hear some people say it feels like "bad period cramps" because my labours felt like being torn apart from the inside out.

You won't be able to sleep through labour pains unless you get an epidural. It is a lovely vision that you have and I think all of us have some idealised view of how labour will go when we are pregnant. My advice would be to keep an open mind and don't be too hung up on any particular scenario. It may go exactly how you want, but then again it may not, and you don't want to feel like you've failed if it doesn't go like your idealised view. Make a loose plan but realise that you may have to or want to deviate from it and that it's okay however your child is born. Labour is only a few hours/days of your life and the real work starts when the baby is born!

 

[kittykat7210]

Thank you for all your replies, I really appreciate the honesty from you all, and I'll do my best to go in with an open mind!

 

[ClairAye]

They really are all so different!

I always say to go in with an open mind, it's good to have an idea but unfortunately complications can arise and it's better when you have prepared for that happening.

My first was absolutely horrible but my second was a breeze in comparison! With my second I had the previous experience of complications so went in prepared for almost anything happening but it was a very easy labour and birth, I only used a TENS machine and warm bath for pain relief whilst I was labouring and some gas and air when pushing, I was asking for drugs but thankfully my midwife saw I was actually coping without so she didn't give me any then as she was maybe going to give in my waters went and my daughter arrived 20 minutes later lol. Take the medication if you really feel you need it, though! Labour is painful, don't deny yourself relief if you need some.

My early contractions felt like more intense period pains but when labour is in full swing it was like having my abdomen put in a vice...

 

[JT2013]

Hello,

This is my first child, and I think I know how I would like to give birth, I have a beautiful vision of me on all fours in a birthing pool leaning over the edge holding onto my hubby. I'm very good with pain usually, and for both my miscarriages I had contractions that I could sleep through. I am fully aware though that it will be much more painful to go through labour.

Im just wondering what real labour is like? I'm going to try and have a completely natural labour, without medicated pain relief just a birthing pool. has anyone done this?

Keep that vision in mind! I think it really helps - even if your experience doesn't quite turn out that way.

I was very relaxed about labour with my first child, and thought I could cope well with pain- but for me it was much more intense than I had expected. It's very difficult to describe but I think 'pain' isn't quite the right description. It's something much more powerful than pain...and the trick is to try not to think of it as pain but as something else...(hypnobirthing is one way to approach this!).

I got to 3cms with just what I would describe as strong period cramps. Then it sped up and I went from 3-fully dilated in 2 hours - so that's partly why I found it so intense I think. I didn't have an epidural, just gas and air and the pool, but I did ask sort of ask for an epidural and declare that I couldn't do it during transition (so was already fully dilated). It does get intense enough that if you know there is something that will take away the pain it becomes too tempting! But I soon forgot about it with the next contraction.

Once I was pushing I found it somewhat easier, having something to do with the contractions rather than just having them happen to do you!


You have to do whatever feels right for you - assuming there are no problems with the baby, a natural birth should be achievable without pain relief, but that doesn't mean you HAVE to do it without. They don't give out medals! I've had people describe calm and wonderful experiences using an epidural, compared to their first where they were distressed and upset by the experience.

These are experiences that will stick with you forever, so it is best to keep as open a mind as possible, and know that you can't always predict what will happen on the day.

This time, I'm going to be having the baby in a midwife led unit, and I'm hoping for a calmer experience, knowing what to expect and that I CAN do it and the pain really doesn't last forever.

Good luck!

 

[Mrs. MB]

My labor was very fast. I went from 0 to full on. From not a single Braxton Hicks to contractions 4 minutes apart after my water broke. We rushed to the hospital and I was admitted an hour later.

My contractions got stronger and stronger and they were all over the place. I had three contractions in a row, then five, then three and so on. My contractions were 2-2.5 minutes long. I went from 1cm to 3cm in an hour then in two more hours I was at 7cm and with 45 minutes ready to push. Anesthesiologist wasn't available until it was too late for me as I couldn't stay still...

I had a beautiful plan that included an epidural and all fours and pool and massage and hubby and I picked out a comfortable position. We had a tens units and snacks and board games, scented candles and a play list... it all went out of the window. I was seriously in pure hell.

My hospital doesnt do gas and air and they give no intravenous pain relief once you're pushing. I had no intention of giving birth with no pain relief. I'm not planning on having a second but if I ever did I would be getting hooked up to an epidural before I change out of my clothes...

Have a plan but be comfortable changing it. I consider my labor traumatic.... I would've loved to have a more serene experience...

Having said that... labor is labor. As long as it's medically safe women have gotten through it with no pain relief for centuries. I agree with PP, once you start pushing it's better but holy cow it's agony once they crown... you can get through anything but there's not a medal at the end of it for doing it with no meds...

 

[Wish85]

Mine personally was traumatic, very long (48hrs) and ended up with an epidural even though I didn't want that at the start. I usually have a good pain threshold too - I sat through 10hrs of getting my whole rib cage, stomach, kidney area tattoo'ed and barely bat an eyelid but intense contractions hour after hour, close together is something different. I tapped out after 6cms and 30-something hours.

Certainly have a plan sweetheart, but be prepared that things may not go to plan as well. This time I will not even think about a plan, I'm just going to cross the bridge when I get to it.

 

[mara16jade]

Mine was pretty easy and straight forward. DH and I had then my water broke. Lol I was about 37.5 weeks. Nurse said to come in, but not break the speed limit (basically, it wasn't anything to panic about).

When we got in, I was checked around 7am and was 2cm. I labored on, and by 9:30am I was asking for some type of pain med. I was almost 7cm, and whatever pain narcotic they gave me sucked! It made me dizzy, but didn't even take the edge off. So I got the epidural and it was easy sailing from there. I pushed in 3 different positions: squating with a birthing bar, on my side and on my back. To be honest, on my back was the best! I had a 2nd degree tear internally, which I never felt, nor did I feel the stitches since I had the epidural. And recovery was a breeze. I was up using the bathroom in about 2 hrs after birth (perfect timing to have all our families visit and leave).

It sounds scary, and there is a lot going on. But it's not bad once you're in the middle of it. I was TERRIFIED going into my 3rd tri because labor seems so scary. Not bad at all.

Just wanted to add, I thought about writing a birthing plan, but decided not to. I knew I didn't want to labor in severe pain, and I didn't want an episiotomy. So I made that clear, and that was that. I knew anything can happen (like a csection or emergency). So I went into labor with as much of an open mind as I could. And it all went to plan.

 

[Jchihuahua]

I had baby number 4 this week and all the labours were so different.

Number 1: I was induced at 38 weeks due to obstetric cholestasis with number 1 and it was very slow, very long, very painful and I had an epidural which I regretted as I couldn't feel to push and ended up with a forceps delivery and lots and lots of stitches. It was quite traumatic really. It took 48 hours for the induction to work and then 17 hours from my waters being broken. Recovery seemed to take ages and my stitches were painful for ages.

Number 2: I was induced at 39 weeks due to obstetric cholestasis. Once they'd broken my waters it took 6 hours in total. The contractions were very painful and I had diamorphine which helped a lot. The pushing stage was really quick and not too painful and I felt fine as soon as he was born.

Number 3: I had a sudden and spontaneous labour/birth at 37 weeks as he was in distress. From not knowing I was in labour at all to him being born was 5 minutes! My waters gushed, two MASSIVE contractions then two pushes and he was born. I felt fine afterwards.

Number 4: I had him on Tuesday. I was induced at 37 weeks due to obstetric cholestasis. They broke my waters at 9:15am and I was only 1.5cm dilated. Nothing happened for hours and by 6pm I was only 2.5cm dilated and feeling pretty demoralised. Then it all happened very quickly. Within 2 hours I was fully dilated and he'd been born! The contractions towards the end were very intense and I had gas and air but gave up on that as it made me feel sick and then had no pain relief. The pushing stage was painful but bearable with no pain relief. I felt fine afterwards. The worst thing now is that I must have been clenching my teeth during labour and I have really terrible jaw pain and toothache!!

 

[Amygdala]

Hi KittyKat

I'm in hospital in the early stages of induced labour as we speak. I'm here because the contractions are keeping me awake. ;-) But I think your "perfect vision" is perfectly achievable. You might have more pain than you're expecting now or you might not. Either way, if you want a water birth and there aren't any complications dictating otherwise, you can totally do it. I had a water birth with my first. I won't lie, it was very painful, but mostly I think because I wasn't prepared and panicked. Still glad I did it though, the water was wonderful. My second was "on land" in rather chaotic circumstances but much more manageable as I'd practiced hypnobirthing and managed to stay calm. Side note: the key there is PRACTICE. Reading a book once won't help but practicing the relaxation mantras and other techniques daily made a huge difference for me.

Anyway, my point is: yes, keep and open mind and acknowledge that sometimes things are beyond your control but also know that you are absolutely capable of having a natural birth if you want. Changing your mind isn't failure though, it simply means that at the time, something else was the right thing for you.

 

[Wish85]

Hi KittyKat

I'm in hospital in the early stages of induced labour as we speak. I'm here because the contractions are keeping me awake. ;-) But I think your "perfect vision" is perfectly achievable. You might have more pain than you're expecting now or you might not. Either way, if you want a water birth and there aren't any complications dictating otherwise, you can totally do it. I had a water birth with my first. I won't lie, it was very painful, but mostly I think because I wasn't prepared and panicked. Still glad I did it though, the water was wonderful. My second was "on land" in rather chaotic circumstances but much more manageable as I'd practiced hypnobirthing and managed to stay calm. Side note: the key there is PRACTICE. Reading a book once won't help but practicing the relaxation mantras and other techniques daily made a huge difference for me.

Anyway, my point is: yes, keep and open mind and acknowledge that sometimes things are beyond your control but also know that you are absolutely capable of having a natural birth if you want. Changing your mind isn't failure though, it simply means that at the time, something else was the right thing for you.

Perfectly said!

 

[Emsabub]

I had the birth you're envisioning (is that the right word..?) but it's really not as bad as some TV shows depict. Ultimately it all comes down to each individual woman's pain threshold but I don't think I'm super tolerant of pain, yet I found it painful but not excessively horribly painful. I got to the hospital triage at 8cm expecting to be sent home so it could've been worse!

 

[pink80]

I had the birth you're envisioning (is that the right word..?) but it's really not as bad as some TV shows jdepict. Ultimately it all comes down to each individual woman's pain threshold but I don't think I'm super tolerant of pain, yet I found it painful but not excessively horribly painful. I got to the hospital triage at 8cm expecting to be sent home so it could've been worse!

You see I think it has very little to do with pain threshold, a lot of it is down to circumstances in labour - like position of baby, the surroundings, medical people at your birth etc... to say otherwise can make women feel bad, like they weren't strong enough or they took the 'easy' route

Every woman needs to make their own choices in labour, at that time, you do what you need to get through. Try not to make too many 'plans' beforehand

 

[Wish85]

I had the birth you're envisioning (is that the right word..?) but it's really not as bad as some TV shows jdepict. Ultimately it all comes down to each individual woman's pain threshold but I don't think I'm super tolerant of pain, yet I found it painful but not excessively horribly painful. I got to the hospital triage at 8cm expecting to be sent home so it could've been worse!

You see I think it has very little to do with pain threshold, a lot of it is down to circumstances in labour - like position of baby, the surroundings, medical people at your birth etc... to say otherwise can make women feel bad, like they weren't strong enough or they took the 'easy' route

Every woman needs to make their own choices in labour, at that time, you do what you need to get through. Try not to make too many 'plans' beforehand

I have to agree with you Pink & say that pain threshold has nothing to do with it at all. If every woman's contractions & labour were guaranteed to be the same then yes it would come down to pain threshold but I know women who have handled immense pain & got through but then crumbled in labour & other women who cry over headaches but didn't know what all the fuss of labour was all about.

I think all women should expect the unexpected but hope for the best. Asking for pain relief during labour does not mean you are weak or a failure so don't have any expectation going into it otherwise you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It's better to be pleasantly surprised you got through it unmedicated, after the birth.

 

[Mum2BKW]

Something I would bear in mind - I'm sure you know that many women tear during labour. And also that they are totally unaware that they've torn, it's only afterwards that they are told when they are stitched up.

So, think about how much pain you would need to be in to not notice your vulva (and possibly the underlying muscle too) being ripped open. Labour hurts!

 

[sarah34]

I had a majority labour without meds, just a pool until about 7cm. Looking back now I can say that I probably could have carried out but I was exhausted and probably scared a little.

Labour is painful, no doubts about it but it's also manageable. Also, no one can tell you what it feels like and how you will cope as there are so many variables.

I would say just try to believe in yourself and your body xx

 

[Emsabub]

Ah I'm sorry girls for the wrong choice of words 😔 I'm a bit of a muppet at times!