Lack of amnio

[vintage67]

Now that my baby's birth is getting so close, I am having a renewal of birth defect fears. At age 44, my age based risk is 1:30. My bloodwork and NT gave me a score of 1:167, so we declined an amnio.

Even though I still feel that was the right decision for us, it would have been nice I suppose to have had the peace of mind that good results from that test could have brought.

We just couldn't bring ourselves to take the miscarriage risk. I was a bit on the fence, but my husband was adamant against it. We have gone through 3 miscarriages on the path to giving our son a sibling and feel this is our "last shot."

But the fears are starting to grow in me, after being quite relaxed about it the past several weeks.

When we had our son 7 years ago, I was 36, but my bloodwork with that pregnancy gave me a 1:23. We declined amnio at that time as well.

I am just really fearful as we do not have a support structure in place. Taking care of a healthy new baby is going to be a challenge! My mother is 75 years old and lives an hour and a half away, and my mother in law is deceased. My only sister is 3 hours away, 6 years older than me, has no children and isn't interested in children at all. Both my sister in laws are drug users. I don't have any really close female friends, just acquaintaces.

Sorry to worry "out loud!"

 

[Torontogal]

Don't really know what to say except fingers crossed

 

[Torontogal]

1:167 is very low, overwhelming odds baby will be fine

 

[vintage67]

Yes, when I was worried 7 years ago at 1:23, a co-workers husband jokingly told me that I wasn't very good at math, as that was still a 96% chance that all would be okay!

 

[AngelUK]

I totally understand your worries. I have a similar situation in my family as you do. I have to think about who could help take care of a disabled child or even what would happen should OH and I die young. My brother has 3 kids of his own and lives in Switzerland. My parents are in their 70s and also live in Switzerland. My OH has a sister who is going to be 50 this year and who has to take in lodgers to make ends meet and her house is tiny. OH's brother is a druggy with lung emphysema. So there really is no one who could help much. My NT scan is tomorrow and while I am very scared of the amnio test I am wondering if I should not have one done even if my test comes back reasonably favourable. At least then I would be able to somehow prepare should the result be less than 100% healthy. I am torturing myself over these thoughts and OH just keeps telling me to worry when I need to and not before. I wish I could be that sensible.

 

[vintage67]

It is very stressful and a difficult decision. I feel good about the decision not to have one, but can't shake these fears.

And it is very difficult to think of facing something like that without family support.

 

[Andypanda6570]

You know you are a very nice person and always have a kind word for people. I think you will be just fine and so will your precious baby I really believe everything will go great for you. I think at 44 you are a great inspiration to a lot of women on here BNB and I just know things will be ok, I just know it. I think your worried and that is normal, but your numbers were fantastic and so far so good. try to relax you are almost there

 

[Jtiki]

I understand. I also am lacking a support structure. Parents and inlaws are in their 80s. I have no siblings and recently relocated across the country and don't have any friends here. But you have had healthy babies before and no reason to think it would be any different now. Stay positive.

 

[SabrinaKat]

Vintage,

We have the exact same numbers (as we've noticed before in other threads), age, etc., and we elected for fear of m/c not to do an amnio, as well. We also have the exact same worries regarding family in that my family is in the US, my MIL is shaky in her hands and standing and my BIL is a selfish jerk, who is cold, etc., who although has two children of his own, creates enough chaos and lack of consideration for everyone (they had the christening for their child the week our baby (m/c....) would have been due, so my dh took me off the Italy as I just couldn't play happy families)...but,

my ob/gyn has done an indepth scan and physically all seems ok, e.g. no 'soft' markers noted and we have another scan to look at the heart in 3 wks (we're private in Ireland, so loads of scans, etc) and if that is all well, our odds will lessen to 1/300ish. She isn't worried, but we have expressed our fears and she has assured us that if she saw anything worrying, we would be told and would discuss what to do.

What you are feeling is normal, but hopefully, we'll be the lucky ones!

best wishes

(am 19wks+2!)

 

[Sarah27]

I understand your worries but I would have thought that with those odds they would have looked for more markers on scan? Oh sorry I see SabrinaKat has mentioned this!
We got given 1:5 for this pg based on my bloodwork.. rusbbish really as we are 28 so not thinking that age really plays that much into it..... We had an amino.. but like you prob wouldn't have if our odds had been higher... If you are worried you could also have an amino in a few weeks.. therefore if labour starts because of it you would just deliver?? But saying that I would have thought that at 33 weeks they would have picked up on things at scan to say that there was a problem xx