Lack of support from family :(

[kitabird]

Despite being reassured that they'd help out after my section, family are totally letting me down. First the in laws were meant to be looking after my toddler and at the last minute said they were going to a wedding, WTF?? They'd have known about it for months. Now my mother, who had promised to take time off work to help is saying she can only have a couple of days instead of the two weeks she had said. Plus she doesn't know which days she can even take because she's left her diary at work There's so many things that I can't manage to do for my toddler, I really need the help and am going to end up on my own and probably doing myself an injury I don't mind letting the housework pile up but I need to be able to take care of my boys! How long will it be before I can manage? Do I need to wait the full 6 weeks before lifting my toddler? It's not very practical!!

 

[xvmomovx]

I remember that once my staples were out I was pretty much back to normal although I didn't have a toddler the first time. I remember showering as normal, going up and down steps, and cleaning lightly. I am not sure about lifting your toddler but you could always have him climb up onto the sofa or bed to change him if he's still in diapers or needs a cuddle. Could you possibly have a friend come one or two days?! If you have enough people to have each one help one day you might be able to cover all your days. I'd say that after about a week you should be okay but you will be sore....

This time I have a 2 year old and my section is next Friday. We're all staying at my MIL's house and she's having BIL find other childcare for his sons for the time we're there. She'll watch DS1 while I look after DS2 and heal although she'll probably want to help with DS2 as well. We are planning to stay there until my staples come out so probably a full week after my release from the hospital. My mom is physically disabled and cannot look after my son for more than a short period at a time.

 

[Laura80]

I lifted my toddler after 2 weeks, my husband and mum were off for a week and a half but after that I was on my own so had no choice but to lift my 2 year old in and out of her cot. I just sort of squatted down and used my knees when lifting instead of bending and using my stomach muscles.

 

[ITS2012]

I feel for you. Glad my family aren't the only ones like that. I usually have to rely on my MIL to take time of work, but she is useless. Honestly, this time round I would be better of asking my nine year old to look after her youngest brother. So I have told my parnter when he eventually tells his parents we are having baby 6 that his mother will only be needed for the morning of the section. I would be much happier knowing my MIL was not around. As for my own mother she let me down on looking after my children the night before my second section and the morning of my third so I have never asked her to look after my children again. I have a total of 7 Brothers and sisters and none of them are slightly interested in lending a hand. Howvever, when they need something they are always on the phone looking for help. It is an awful situation to be in and I hope you find someone to help out.

Lifting your toddler could possibly cause harm. It would depend on how old and heavy he is. I usually show my toddlers my scar and explain that is the reason I can not pick them up. They are 2 (only recently) at the time. As long as they can climb on a chair of bed and with help get up the stairs I am sure you will manage. Plenty of love and cuddles for him too so he doesn't feel left out.

Good Luck, sounds like you need a little

 

[kitabird]

DS1 is about 32lbs so not light! He can climb up onto bed/chair but the problem is that he won't cooperate when it comes to nappy changes/getting dressed etc. Also I can't manage to get the pushchair out yet so will be cooped up. Hopefully will be up to it very soon.

 

[Laura80]

I used a lot of tv and snacks to bribe my daughter to sit down for a while so I could rest. But don't worry, it won't be long until you're out and about again.

 

[Eternal]

I had twins via section due I both being breach and a very busy two year old to look after by myself and the house 1 week after, I even had the in laws down for a "holiday" at around four weeks abs take to feed them all, entertain them a d go out every day. I coped, you have to.

As for lifting I lifted my toddler (on the 75th for weight), three days after my section. The day I came out if hospitali cooked tea and was pretty much left on my own after that. I spent my time in pjs as it was sifter on my scar, and didvrhatvfir a long time. My son got new films and books so that he wold sit, but he isn't the type of child to do that, he just learnt that mummy can't get on the floor right now or if he I was, that it took me a long while to get up.

I got toddler I to a bed before the twins were born so I avoided lifting i
Him into a cot, mostly as my twin bump was massive.

I've never had help, so I don't understand the worry, I have had to cope and oh has had to work. That's not to say there are not tears.

I found co codamol helped best for me with pain relief and I alternated hot a cold compress to my scar. I obviously had pain, but you are meant to, thats why natural is so much better, but due to their positioning and other issues it was the only was I could deliver them.

Good luck. Xxx