Ladies please help!!!!

[emtmomtwo]

this is kind of a vent.........my husband and i have a little boy and little girl. I have not been on birth control since our little boy was born on sept 19, 2007. We went to my obgyn's office and explained the situation. She was going to refer me out to an reproductive endocrinologist. She just wanted to do some more bloodwork before the referral. Long story short, we finally concieved but it ended up being a chemical pregnancy. I found out that my insurance doesnt cover a penny of infertility treatments or visits. The obgyn wont refer us because she said we can concieve. Im not sure what to do. I have started taking vitex. alot of women i have talked to on fertility boards say its great. but should i be taking it if i have normal cycles? im having to take matters into my own hands since i cant get a referral to an RE and insurance wouldnt pay for it anyway.
Also, i am on cd1 and thought about starting to temp. it looks really complicated. does it really help?

 

[moter98]

i'm on 1 year ttc, 2nd chemical pregnancy. i just met with my dr today and he will not do any testing besides a hysteroscopy if i want one. he doesn't think it's necessary but said he will do one if i want. also, i convinced him to do a progesterone and thyroid and vitamin test, only because it just so happened that the stars aligned today and i am on cd22, which is when they do progesterone testing. if not for that, i wouldn't have had any tests today. i basically got told the same thing you did. he said that a first trimester loss is most likely due to an immature egg or sperm and it happens often. a first chemical happens to about 40% of women. he said my chances of having a 3rd chemical are 35% and my chances of having a healthy pregnancy are 65%. he told me to come back after a 3rd loss or 6 months. he wasn't in the least bit concerned so i guess dr's don't really put much stock in a chemical pregnancy. it does show that you are able to conceive, so they figure its only a waiting game. i use opk's and temp. i highly recommend temping. it can help you pinpoint your fertile days. for some, it's just a matter of getting the timing right.
sorry for your loss.

 

[emtmomtwo]

i really dont understand these doctors. i mean where is their humanity? its so frustrating because so many women end up unexpectedly pregnant and there are those of us that have to align the moon, stars, and entire universe to concieve only for it to end in miscarriage. im just really depressed today.

 

[moter98]

i know! i just don't get it. many, many women get pregnant very easily, but when there is a problem i get told that the sun, moon and stars all need to align and conditions have to be just perfect to conceive a healthy baby. wondering why most other women have no trouble getting pregnant. the only thing we can do is keep trying and hope we hit the jackpot, or that the dr's will finally test us.
the dr did make reference to the fact that we can conceive and i think that's why we have to wait longer to get tested. they think we probably don't have a big problem since sperm and egg can meet.

 

[emtmomtwo]

i understand. initially they thought i was nuts because i was claiming an issue conceiving with the same man i have been married to for 8 years and conceived three pregnancies with. they have this whole idea that men are either sterile or not and that it doesnt change. i have a problem believing that.

 

[moter98]

that is not true at all. men's sperm count goes down with age. hello, they are dr's, they should know this! doesn't mean that's what the problem is, but shouldn't they be looking for a problem since you've been trying for so long?
and me, i'm 32, closing in on 33. i would have liked to have at least one more baby, maybe more. with the wait and see approach the dr's take i probably won't even get a chance at a 3rd baby. it just makes me so mad!

 

[emtmomtwo]

yep. i thought it was pretty stupid too. they werent even interested in testing him, even though he has low testosterone and hyperthyroidism. Hes being treated for both conditions but i have heard that the medicine he is on for low testosterone can adversely affect sperm count. we addressed this with our family doctor, but he was adamant that the medication wouldnt do that. i do trust our family dr honestly more than my obgyn. He had me start iodine treatment because he said in his research it can be the cause of infertility in up to 50% of women. i havent been able to find the documentation to back this idea up, but i have been taking it. im so irritated with the obgyn that i literally cannot stand it. to top the cake, i found out the other day that my mom had 8 miscarriages and the only way they ever confirmed her pregnancies were through ultrasounds and urine hpts. she said every blood test she ever had was negative. this has made me question the 9 positive hpts i had last month along with a negative beta. i just dont understand how that happened. my family dr said it was because i was using cheap tests, but there is no way that i got 9 true false positives. there was no bleeding between the hpts and the beta......sometimes i just hate my body!!

 

[emtmomtwo]

they all looked like this..........i was just in disbelief that they all clearly had second lines.
https://i1183.photobucket.com/albums/x469/emtmomtwo/2012-04-17162120.jpg

 

[moter98]

We're they all of the same batch? There should be a lot number on the package. You can check if it was a bad batch. I've gotten a line like that on a cheap test, but it only happened on one test. It was pencil thin and off center. I wouldn't think 9 tests in a row would do that unless the whole batch was bad. Unlikely

 

[emtmomtwo]

unfortunately, i no longer have the boxes to check. i wish i wouldve saved them now. they were purchased over a period of about 7 days at 4 different walmart locations. i did email walmart about them but i never got a response. my beta showed an hcg of less than 1. i have been tempted to test again, but i would feel really stupid if i got another positive and then another negative beta. i missed my period entirely last month and this month it lasted two days. i honestly have given up hopes of being pregnant. my husband is still trying to tell me he believes the 9 tests and not the bloodwork. men........they just dont understand. lol. i have had several people tell me that the second line looks like an evap even thought it has color and came up within the time limit. i was pretty convinced it was and evap until i got 9 like that....lol. but i guess you get what you pay for with $0.88 tests. i was on an emotional rollercoaster last month and im still pretty upset about it.

 

[moter98]

That test you have a link to does look like an evap to me. My evap looked like that but I only got one,not nine! It would seem very unlikely to get so many evaps from different boxes of tests and different stores too. But then too it doesn't make sense why you had non pregnant bets numbers. My hcg was at 8 last month and I was getting negatives on all tests but frer. Did you still get the positives right after your beta?

 

[moter98]

yep. i thought it was pretty stupid too. they werent even interested in testing him, even though he has low testosterone and hyperthyroidism. Hes being treated for both conditions but i have heard that the medicine he is on for low testosterone can adversely affect sperm count. we addressed this with our family doctor, but he was adamant that the medication wouldnt do that. i do trust our family dr honestly more than my obgyn. He had me start iodine treatment because he said in his research it can be the cause of infertility in up to 50% of women. i havent been able to find the documentation to back this idea up, but i have been taking it. im so irritated with the obgyn that i literally cannot stand it. to top the cake, i found out the other day that my mom had 8 miscarriages and the only way they ever confirmed her pregnancies were through ultrasounds and urine hpts. she said every blood test she ever had was negative. this has made me question the 9 positive hpts i had last month along with a negative beta. i just dont understand how that happened. my family dr said it was because i was using cheap tests, but there is no way that i got 9 true false positives. there was no bleeding between the hpts and the beta......sometimes i just hate my body!!

hyperthyroidism generally doesn't cause problems, its the hypothyroidism that would. but the testosterone i would guess does. that's a major hormone! i do believe that dr's don't see a concern when a woman has a chemical pregnancy. they don't see a chemical pregnancy as a "true" pregnancy because it never made it to the embryo stage. my dr. basically said that, just in not so many words. i think because we've had chemicals they are less concerned than if we had never gotten a bfp. i'm so upset that i have to wait until i lose another or 18 months of ttc for a panel. just seems hopeless sometimes. i would feel better even if all tests came back normal. i just need to know if there is something wrong or not.

 

[emtmomtwo]

i totally understand not wanting to wait to lose another before they do something. they didnt give me any kind of timeline other than call back in 6 mths. ugh!!!! i got positives before and after the blood test. i just decided it was the tests. just for giggles (because we didnt even track things after the 9 tests, and havent bd'd anymore), i decided to use my last walmart cheapie. its still showing two lines. i will never purchase them again. i mean, i was 28dpo when i got the negative beta. i am technically at cd4 because of the 2 day period. i think they are just very inaccurate tests. i wish they would take chemical pregnancies more seriously. i know they are heartbreaking. in my opinion, just as heartbreaking as the 6 week miscarriage we had years ago before we conceived our daughter. its so nice to talk to someone who is on the same travel.

 

[moter98]

I had to ask the dr how long I had to wait before coming in again. It just seems like so long to wait since its already been a year. I am not in my 20's anymore and feel thy biological clock ticking away. Frustrating! There are no other RE's in the area. The next closest one is an hour and half away.
That is really odd that you're still getting the positive tests. How could it be on all of them? Can you buy a first response test and see if that gives you a line? They are very sensitive and would give you the answer if the cheaper tests are evaps or not. Dip both tests at the same time and see if you get lines in both.

 

[moter98]

My First loss was at 6 weeks. Bled for 3 1/2 weeks. It was awful. I do think it was worse than this last time. At least it was over quick this time.

 

[emtmomtwo]

thats an idea about the frer and the walmart cheapies. i will be 28 in october but i had my kids when i was 21 and 23. my husband just turned 30. thats very true about the miscarriage versus the early miscarriage. i bled forever too. i was 19 when it happened and i dont think i fully ever accepted i was pregnant. i was very naive at 19 even though i was married then. i really felt like we were done at having a daughter and son, but we would like to have 4. i would love to have twins(very long shot) and then have my tubes tied. im just very skeptical about the walmart tests. to say the least though i was devastated when the negative beta came in.

 

[moter98]

i just don't get it. you have 2 kids already. i had 1. why is it so hard this time? so frustrating.
with my first loss, i was bleeding right away, but light, and the nurse said it doesn't necessarily mean a miscarriage. i had my betas drawn quite a bit and they kept going up for about a week and half. the nurse said by my betas that it was still a viable pregnancy, but i was bleeding the whole time. then, at my second week draw then were going down. it was the worst 2 weeks of my life to have the false hope that i might still have a viable pregnancy. a part of me knew that i shouldn't be bleeding like i was, but my numbers gave that false hope - oh and my hpt's were super dark too.
this time around at least i didn't have to go through that. i only had positive test for 5 days and by the 3rd day i began to suspect it was a chemical cause the test wasn't getting darker. by day five, my frer was very light, and my IC's had gone negative so I that's when i called for a beta. i already knew it was a chemical, but i wanted it on record so the dr would see me. lot of good it did me anyway. grrrrrrr

 

[ncmommy]

Hi ladies,

Sorry you all are having a rough time, I know exactly what you all are talking about. DH and I had no trouble conceiving our first but as you can see I have not been able to hold onto a pregnancy since. I had gone to numerous doctors who did not take me seriously and did not want to help since I am able to get pregnant. Many would look at my age and tell me it was just about luck, very frustrating. Luckily, we have a PPO so I was able to go to an RE on my own and they have been wonderful. This is our first cycle TTC since we completed all our testing, of cours all our tests came back normal. We still pay a good portion of the RE bill ourselves, we are fortunate that we can afford it.

Lots of stick baby dust to you both!

 

[moter98]

Hi ladies,

Sorry you all are having a rough time, I know exactly what you all are talking about. DH and I had no trouble conceiving our first but as you can see I have not been able to hold onto a pregnancy since. I had gone to numerous doctors who did not take me seriously and did not want to help since I am able to get pregnant. Many would look at my age and tell me it was just about luck, very frustrating. Luckily, we have a PPO so I was able to go to an RE on my own and they have been wonderful. This is our first cycle TTC since we completed all our testing, of cours all our tests came back normal. We still pay a good portion of the RE bill ourselves, we are fortunate that we can afford it.

Lots of stick baby dust to you both!

i guess if you have losses, dr's think you have a better chance at conceiving naturally and are less concerned. seems to be the consensus. so everything came back normal? what did dr' say about that? is was just incredible bad luck? are they putting you on any meds or anything? really curious to know. my regular OB is also the RE in our area, so he's the only dr. i can go to.
so sorry for your losses.

 

[ncmommy]

Hi ladies,

Sorry you all are having a rough time, I know exactly what you all are talking about. DH and I had no trouble conceiving our first but as you can see I have not been able to hold onto a pregnancy since. I had gone to numerous doctors who did not take me seriously and did not want to help since I am able to get pregnant. Many would look at my age and tell me it was just about luck, very frustrating. Luckily, we have a PPO so I was able to go to an RE on my own and they have been wonderful. This is our first cycle TTC since we completed all our testing, of cours all our tests came back normal. We still pay a good portion of the RE bill ourselves, we are fortunate that we can afford it.

Lots of stick baby dust to you both!

i guess if you have losses, dr's think you have a better chance at conceiving naturally and are less concerned. seems to be the consensus. so everything came back normal? what did dr' say about that? is was just incredible bad luck? are they putting you on any meds or anything? really curious to know. my regular OB is also the RE in our area, so he's the only dr. i can go to.
so sorry for your losses.

I had been to 3 OBGYNs before seeking the help of an RE. My 1st OBGYN would not do any testing on me til I had 3 miscarriages. She did my initial testing and found nothing wrong so her solution was call me next time you are pregnant. I was like really? My 2nd OBGYN was suppose ot be a leading expert in miscarraiges and was more helpful but all he wanted to do is when I got pregnant put me on progesterone. I wanted something more and wanted further testing which he thought there was no need for. My 3rd OBGYN was by far the least and most helpful. He looked over my chart and talked to me for a while and told me he can't do anything for me and urged me to go see an RE. I don't know why I was so hesitant to go to an RE but I finally did and they are really great. He did so much testing on me and DH, could not beleive how many viles of blood I have taken, even gave me numerous ultrasounds and a hysteroscopy. All tests can back normal for DH and I, there is nothing wrong with us that they can figure out. My biggest fear was that there was some underlying medical condition that was making me miscarriage, but there is nothing. He told me that 50% of the time no none cause is found for recurrent miscarriages. His plan of action was to control and monitor every part of my cycle and do do things that would do no harm. I was put on Clomid on CD3-7 then another medicine that I can't think of from CD8-12. I started BDing on CD 10-16 and on CD 11 started OPKs. When I got a positive OPK I went into the office where they did an ultrasound to see my folicles. I had a great looking one and my lining was also good, so they gave me a hcg trigger shot. They gave me a prescription for a progesterone/estrogen suppository that I started about 4 days after my shot. I do those twice a day. I am waiting next week for blood tests to see if I am pregnant, cause I can not take a HPT since I had the hcg shot. In addition I am on extra folic acid and low dose aspirin as well as prenatals. If I am pregnant I contiue the suppositories the whole first trimester and will have blood tests and ultrasounds throughout.

So that is our plans as of now, not sure what to do if this does not work.