Last names...

[tasha41]

I have ALWAYS wanted to give my child his/her father's last name, and my boyfriend wants the baby to take his last name as well. We agreed on it, there wasn't any pressure from him making me do it or anything it's what I want too! (as do his parents).

It seems my parents just live to make everything more difficult than it already is though.. I'm living at my parents' house after the baby arrives because they don't want me to move out until my boyfriend and I can afford to and can take care of ourselves and a baby. But since we're not married and the baby will be living at my house with my family for the first bit.. my parents want me to give the baby our last name. And after we get married they want the baby to have a hyphenated last name?

Obviously I disagree 100% but I'm through with arguing with them! At this point I feel like I'll just write my boyfriend's last name down at the hospital on the birth certificate forms LOL. Any advice/people having similar issues?!

 

[Waiting2bMommy]

Hey Hun,

Honestly its your baby and you should do what you want. There is no reason to be married for the baby to have his last name. You don't need a piece of paper to tell you, you love him and that he is the babies father. Your family should be more understanding about it. Do what you need to do, honestly if its that big of issue I think you should just do it at the hospital, once its done there is nothing they can do!!

Good luck and congrats on you baby!!!

 

[Twinkles]

i absolutely agree! Im also giving our baby my boyfriends last name, its what i want and so thats what im doing.

good luck and stick to your guns x

 

[indianorchi]

I was in exactly the same situation appart form the double barreled bit. My parents were really trying to almost force me into giving the baby my last name and I wanted it to have his! In the end I think I would've just told them to accept my decision but lately things haven't been so good between us, he's not been a good boyfriend so I've told him I'd like it to have my last name then if he manages to prove himself and we get married he'll get his anyway
But just try not to keep getting stressed and then eventually snap and tell them angrily as that's probably what I would've done and it would be much better said calmly!

 

[Vickie]

I say you should do what you and the child's father wants. I'm not in a similar situation, I am married but never changed my last name but still gave my daughter her father's last name.

 

[sammie18]

I say YOU do what you wanna do, Dont let then pressure you into doing somthing you dont

 

[heather91]

It's your decision to make, not your parents! Don't even bother arguing with them over it, it's pointless because in the end, you'll be writing the name YOU have chosen on the birth certificate anyway. x

 

[Serene123]

I did, and I regret it.

 

[nikky0907]

It's your baby and honestly,your parents don't have much say in it.

If thats what you and your boyfriend want then do it.However since you are still quite young and there is a chance you two don't last,why don't you double-barrel it from the start?
You can either keep it or remove your last name if you two get married one day.

My daughter has a double-barreled last name.Me and her dad aren't together.
That way I don't have a completely different last name than her but she still has her fathers.

 

[Laura--x]

I was/am in exactly the same situation.

Without even speaking to my parents, i just said we'd give the baby his/her dads last name. But then my parents asked me about it one time and said i should give it my last name, that with young couples theres a higher chance things wont last and then you could go on to meet new boyfriends, have more babies, split up again and end up having 3 babies with all different names. I could see where they were coming from so i spoke to my boyfriend about it, but he got really mad and said the baby SHOULD have his name, then his family started saying that it should be in their name, and with me wanting it in his name anyway ( his names alot better than mine! and plus he is the dad, i think they deserve it) so it will be in his name x

 

[indianorchi]

My boyfriend and his family really wanted it to have his. He threatened to leave me if I didn't give him his last name but I told him that was ridiculous, if he was prepared to leave me over something so trivial he wasn't worth my time. We ended up having a huge argument, I told him I didn't think it should have his last name because he cheated when I was around 4 months and had made no effort to look for a job so I didn't feel he deserved it and if he was ready to throw away what we had at that stage, what would stop him walking out when the baby arrived. Things are sorted now and we're very much in love but I'm sticking with the decision to give it my last name, much to the delight of my parents...

 

[Luhweez]

I was going to give baby my last name at first, then after reading some of the last name discussions on here my mind sortof shifted and we decided she'd have his last name, but the name we've decided on for her goes better with my last name, so now its back to mine!

Like everyone else says, its your baby, its your decision.

Another thing though, a couple of girls from my old work say they regret giving the baby their boyfriends last name because when they ring up and make doctors appointments etc.etc. and giving a different name from yours dosent feel like your doing it for your own child and people dont really think of you as the mother.

 

[polo_princess]

If you want to give your child your boyfriends surname and your comfoartable that in 5 or 10 years time your not going to change your mind then go for it. Its a personal decision that your parents cant make for you im afraid.

 

[princessellie]

i first off decided the baby would have her daddys surname but we have been fighting a lot lately and have pretty much broken up so i am giving her my surname just in case, if things do get better and we get married she will have his surname anyway, i just dont want something to happen eg for us to break up and to then have a different surname to my daughter

but as everyone else has said, its completely up to u, ur parents have no say in this unfortunately for them, do what u want to do hun

x

 

[LongRoadAhead]

Im giving my baby my surname, Always wanted to as Im young, Who knows what could happen in 5 years or so. Me and babys dad arent together anymore so its deffinantly my surname, and it goes better with the names Iv been thinking of for either sex
X

 

[Jennavee]

I think u should do what u want.. Maybe ur parents are scared that u 2 will not work out and u will be sorry u made the choice but fact of the matter is even if u did split its still his child too. So calmly stand ur ground and if they still dont agree.. As u said U ARE THE ONE who does all the paper work!

 

[pinkmummy]

Its your baby not theirs. If you want baby to have OH's last name then you do that. xx

 

[nessajane]

my mother at first was suprised when i said my LO will have my OH last name as were not married, if we had no plans to get married in the future etc i would want my LO to have last name as me but seen as we planned to get married in next 3 years LO will take my OH last name!!