Leaving a 6 week old with grandparents overnight....

[bunnyrabbit]

We're going to be leaving our 6 week old overnight next week for some much needed couple time. They have offered to take him one night a week or a weekend every week so we can relax, meet friends etc. We're both young parents and I know I'd love this little bit of freedom once a week.....but is it ok to do this? Will the baby have stronger attachments to grandparents than me and daddy? Is it bad parenting?

 

[biglebowski]

Rest assured your lo will love you and daddy more than anyone or anything in the world!! That's fantastic you have family who are willing to help out, and I'm sure they will adore having him. As long as you are both comfortable with the arrangement, then go for it!! Enjoy your time with your man, and not being mummy and daddy for a night....and the sleep!!!! Anything that helps you feel better rested is fab!! Bad parenting, absolutely not!!!! Its great to support lo to forge good relationships with his family. Enjoy your night!!

 

[sevenofnine]

I don't really think it's bad parenting. I (personally) couldn't / wouldn't do it that often (I am exclusively breastfeeding and so it wouldn't work anyway), but we will be leaving her for a night soon with her grandparents.

Your LO will still of course know who it's parents are.

Honestly, and this is only an opinion so please don't take it too harshly, but it seems to me that it kind of defeats the purpose of having a child. Why even have a child if you're just going to leave it with his grandparents every weekend to go party? Being a parent generally means that you have to do what's best for your LO. Although once every here and there certainly wouldn't be a problem, it seems every week for a weekend is excessive.

Once again, I don't think you will have a screwed up child because of this. Just my opinions!

It just seems to shirk some responsibility of being a parent.

And please please please, I am NOT trying to be harsh even though I know it sounds like that... it's just my opinion. I would love to go party every weekend but I don't because I know that it wouldn't be what's best for my daughter.

Once in a while, though... sure, why not!

And I'm not one to put stock into every article I read, but I just found it interesting that I read some articles yesterday about spending nights away from baby and found some info from their study: "The results pointed out that 43 percent of babies with weekly overnights experienced insecurity over separation from their mothers or primary caregivers as compared to 16 percent with less frequently overnights."

Read more: Not Worth Spending Nights Away From Mom as a Baby | Medindia https://www.medindia.net/news/not-w...from-mom-as-a-baby-122515-1.htm#ixzz2ZyUWlPSi

^^ There is an article that has more detailed information than that one, I'm sure if you Google it, you will find it.

 

[kates84]

I have to say I do largely agree with sevenofnine. I wouldn't do an all nighter every week until my little one is older for the reasons she gave

However, if you think you would be a less happy/more resentful parent if you don't have a weekly break, then you should go for it as on balance, that would be best for your little one.

 

[lilly_bum]

I couldent leave my baby that young my lo is 14 months and stayed out last week for one night for the first time ever we have couple time when she is in bed your baby is so little and just wants u x

 

[special_kala]

I wouldnt do it personally. They dont stay babes for long and i have time when they are older to go out etc.

 

[maidelyn]

Yeah I wouldn't for same reasons as above. I presume you are bottle feeding? How about just an afternoon or two a week to have a break?

 

[JessicaM123]

I couldn't leave my LO overnight at 6weeks, i still would struggle to do it now. If you feel happy to do it, it does not make you a bad parent though, nor will it affect LO's love for you less.

I do agree with sevenofnine to say that being a parent is responsibility though, and you will want family time too. them having him at the weekend will give you couple time, but surely if your partner works/when lo goes to school/nursey, you will want that weekend for family time? Less of a social life and less couple time is sadly one of the sacrifices you have to make having a baby.

I do believe you should do whats best for you and baby though, so if that is, then so be it x

 

[Emma&Freya]

My Mum and Dad had my daughter overnight when she was 3 weeks old, and dya no what? I LOVED it, I missed her of course, but it was SO nice to have some 'me' time.

I had a lovely bath, drank a lovely cup of tea, had a gorgeous tea and got into fresh pjs and into a fresh clean bed and watched TV until my OH came in.

People on here were quite horrible to me when I said I left her, but my OH was back working and my depression was starting to sink in.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a night/day off.

My Mum and Dad have Freya atleast once a fornight for me, sometimes every Friday because I need to be me again for that part

Do whatever you feel is comfortable x

 

[bumpbear]

To be honest, 6 weeks seems awfully young to be leaving the baby for a full night. I dont think i would have even considered it at that stage.

My sis-in-law forced DH and I out for couple time when LO was that age. They were visiting us from the UK and knew we woukd never have time to ourselves as we have no family here. We went to the nearest restaurant for lunch, wolfed down our meal, talked about LO the whole time and rushed back within 90 minutes. We've not been on another date night since and she's 16 months old! However, we have plenty of at home dates after she's gone to sleep and that serves us just fine!

I do realise that what works for us doesn't work for everybody though, so if you feel you need some 'me' time and your parenting would suffer if you didn't get that time, take it and don't worry what anyone else thinks. I'm sure you'll strike the right balance for your LO.

 

[jodilee6]

We've regularly left LO overnight with both grandparents since he was a few weeks old. He has an amazing time, grandparents love spending time with him and myself and OH get to relax and be us once again.

He's now 14months and has such an amazing relationship with both sets of grandparents, shock horror, OH & I have even be away for long weekend without LO.

I think it's down to you as a parent, if you want to do it and are comfortable in doing so then go ahead. It's not going to affect your child developmentally, from my experience I think it enhances bonds and also gives a greater sense of security.

 

[lilly_bum]

@emma I think theres a huge difference between.wanting a break because your shattared or feeling depressed than wanting to give your child away for a weekend coz your young and want to hang with friends xxx

 

[Emma&Freya]

@emma I think theres a huge difference between.wanting a break because your shattared or feeling depressed than wanting to give your child away for a weekend coz your young and want to hang with friends xxx

to be fair, I didnt no I had depression back then, just thought I was tired but things wernt right



OP my daughter has a fantastic relationship with my Mum and Dad aswell

 

[special_kala]

My kids have a great relationship with their grandparents but they have never stayed over their house. They have loads of time to do that when they are older.

 

[lovelylaura]

Do it. If your happy then do it and don't listen to other people's opinions it will only make you doubt yourself. Your child will love you. My girls have the odd night away its refreshing and helps get my head togdther. Xx

 

[fannyadams]

@emma I think theres a huge difference between.wanting a break because your shattared or feeling depressed than wanting to give your child away for a weekend coz your young and want to hang with friends xxx

Harsh

 

[SaraEmily]

I couldn't even imagine leaving LO for a few hours at that age, much less over night. I have to agree with the other posters, every weekend is excessive. I know you're young, but parenting is a full time job, and you can't really have the best of both worlds.

 

[sevenofnine]

I had almost a full night night away from my LO at a young age... but every weekend just seems like a lot IMO.

I do agree with the fact that your LO will of course still love you and know you are his/her parents!

It just seems like a lot to be gone.

Just put it in perspective... if they took LO for one day/night a week, that would be 52-ish days per year you're not with your LO... that's a lot! Double it for weekends and you have somewhere between 52 and 104 days per year you're spending for "couple time". Doesn't that seem like a lot for someone with a young baby?

 

[fannyadams]

I couldn't even imagine leaving LO for a few hours at that age, much less over night. I have to agree with the other posters, every weekend is excessive. I know you're young, but parenting is a full time job, and you can't really have the best of both worlds. Sorry if it seems like I'm lecturing you, just giving an opinion.

Why not if everyone is happy with the arrangement?
It's not for me but we don't know ops circumstances. Lots of children have two 'homes' when their parents split. This isn't really any different

 

[lilly_bum]

@emma I think theres a huge difference between.wanting a break because your shattared or feeling depressed than wanting to give your child away for a weekend coz your young and want to hang with friends xxx

Harsh

Wasnt ment to be harsh just my oppinion.