Legal question about babies last name.

[jozylynn896]

Okay so my boyfriend is 19 and I'm 16 but was 15 when I fell pregnant.
My boyfriend has a big problem with signing the birth certificate. Because he does not want to get into any kind of legal trouble.
(Very aggravating).
But now he's convincing himself that he can't even be in the delivery room!
Its so aggravating and makes me feel like he doesn't really want to be there.
Any ways, he thinks that since he won't be on the birth cirtificate our son can't have his last name. Is this true?
Can he be in the room and then not sign the certificate?
If he doesn't sign can I still give our son his last name?

 

[VmrsbabcockV]

legal trouble? is this because of the statutory laws? just wondering.

for all anyone knows unless hes going around saying hes daddy or anyone demands a DNA test he could be some random friend. anyone who wants to be in the delivery room can be as long as you allow it at least at my hospital. no one has to know hes the dad. and you can give the baby whatever last name you want. im sure there are other people in the world with his last name who are not related. no one can prove he is the dad or prove it is anything more than just a big ol coincidence that he was in the delivery room and that baby has his last name

i think it would be a shame for him to miss the birth of his own baby!
another option is to give the baby your last name, and then if you two eventually get married change his last name then.

on the pessimistic end of things, if you end up having to take him for child support or anything.. he doesnt have to have signed the birth certificate or have the same last name as the baby all that would be needed would be a DNA test and that proves he is the dad and he'd have to pay.

so its pretty much up to you and what you are both comfortable with

good luck!

 

[jozylynn896]

Thank you! That's exactly what I tell him. That they can't really ask who he is and even if I say that he's my boyfriend that doesn't mean he's necessarily the father.
I think he may just not wan to be there :"(

 

[jozylynn896]

And yes because of the statutory laws in Illinois even though it was completely consensual

 

[jozylynn896]

And yes because of the statutory laws in Illinois even though it was completely conesensual

 

[VmrsbabcockV]

yeah. then he probably shouldn't go around saying he's the dad or sign the birth certificate just to be safe. i mean its rly hard to convict him unless one or both of your parents press charges or he commits some other type of crime and they tack that on...none of the states these days can rly afford to go around throwing teenagers in jail for consensual sex yunno? but i'd err on the side of caution.


as for the delivery tho i'd ask him what is rly up..because they will have no way of knowing he's the dad so if he wanted to he could definitely be there for the birth and just leave or go get food or whatever when you're filling out all of baby's paperwork

 

[fionar]

I weighed in on your thread asking about the birth certificate and whether he could sign it, but I'll weigh in here, too.

1) Find a lawyer or call legal aid and discuss this situation with them. You and your baby should be protected in the event that you need him to be coughing up child support or anything like that, and you need to find out if there's a way to get that protection WITHOUT the statutory rape legal drama.

2) You can name your baby whatever you want when he or she is born. Yes, usually it's the name of one of the parents, but it's not a requirement. I had friends who were going to be getting married shortly after the birth of their daughter, and they had plans to take an entirely new last name upon getting married, so they gave their daughter the name they were going to be taking when they got married - that way they all ended up with the same last name.

Seriously, though, you need to talk to a lawyer about your situation. I cannot advise you strongly enough to find someone with actual real legal knowledge of the state's laws and your situation.

 

[MomPepperdine]

I know girls that have dad on the bc and they were both under age also a friend that had a baby she was of age and he was under none got in trouble from my understanding someone has to press charges like the parents I personally think he's just trying to avoid it. You really should have his name on the bc for child support reasons. Granted everything is great right now (or not idk lol) but you guys need to be protected for if things go bad!

Also I'm in idaho washington state area so it could differ but doubt it

 

[RaisinKane13]

As other people have said, the correct way to go about this is for you to talk to a lawyer or a legal person.

But that being said, Technically, your boyfriend cannot get in trouble unless your parents get along.

Also, about him being in the room. As the PP have said, they cannot say anything about who you have in the room. They may think he is just a friend. Or even if you say this is my boyfriend, the hospital wont start questioning.

I understand that your boyfriend doesn't want to get in trouble. But in reality he shouldn't had gotten you pregnant if he wasn't willing to be involved or take responsibility and step up. Def talk to someone on the legal side darling.

 

[JJKCB]

believe it or not but your situation happens all the time, since your both teenage nothing will happen unless you report it and then it would probably be a slap on the wrist

when the baby is born, he/she will automatically be given your surname this is for safety laws (as your not married) its to do with kidnapping laws, after leaving the hospital the child can be given any surname you want, you should even be able to make up a surname if you want (although i wouldn't recommend it)

if your partner doesn't sign the birth certificate legally he will have no claim to the child, and should you split up it would make court a lot harder for both of you (you would have to prove it was his kid for maintenance, he may not be entitled to visitation) so i suggest you get him to sign it

 

[fionar]

believe it or not but your situation happens all the time, since your both teenage nothing will happen unless you report it and then it would probably be a slap on the wrist

when the baby is born, he/she will automatically be given your surname this is for safety laws (as your not married) its to do with kidnapping laws, after leaving the hospital the child can be given any surname you want, you should even be able to make up a surname if you want (although i wouldn't recommend it)

if your partner doesn't sign the birth certificate legally he will have no claim to the child, and should you split up it would make court a lot harder for both of you (you would have to prove it was his kid for maintenance, he may not be entitled to visitation) so i suggest you get him to sign it

I'm not sure you're correct on nothing happening unless she reports it. It's a crappy situation, but it is *technically*, according to the laws of the state she lives in, statutory rape and anyone could make a complaint. Parental consent has nothing to do with statutory rape laws, so she's RIGHT to be concerned about the legal situation they could potentially find themselves in.

Yes, it probably is common, but that's all the more reason she should speak to an attorney familiar with her state's laws - they will be able to tell her more about what she needs to do to protect herself and her baby.

I've also never heard of baby being automatically given your last name in the hospital. You put what you want your child to be called on the birth certificate and that is their name. Maybe it's different by state, but my friends who gave their baby a different last name had no issue whatsoever.

 

[JJKCB]

believe it or not but your situation happens all the time, since your both teenage nothing will happen unless you report it and then it would probably be a slap on the wrist

when the baby is born, he/she will automatically be given your surname this is for safety laws (as your not married) its to do with kidnapping laws, after leaving the hospital the child can be given any surname you want, you should even be able to make up a surname if you want (although i wouldn't recommend it)

if your partner doesn't sign the birth certificate legally he will have no claim to the child, and should you split up it would make court a lot harder for both of you (you would have to prove it was his kid for maintenance, he may not be entitled to visitation) so i suggest you get him to sign it

I'm not sure you're correct on nothing happening unless she reports it. It's a crappy situation, but it is *technically*, according to the laws of the state she lives in, statutory rape and anyone could make a complaint. Parental consent has nothing to do with statutory rape laws, so she's RIGHT to be concerned about the legal situation they could potentially find themselves in.

Yes, it probably is common, but that's all the more reason she should speak to an attorney familiar with her state's laws - they will be able to tell her more about what she needs to do to protect herself and her baby.

I've also never heard of baby being automatically given your last name in the hospital. You put what you want your child to be called on the birth certificate and that is their name. Maybe it's different by state, but my friends who gave their baby a different last name had no issue whatsoever.

well me an all my friends have children so i do know how it works lol i was also an unmarried teen mom so i know how it work under that curcumstance aswell and on hospital ground the child will be named 'baby (mothers last name)' until they leave the hospital, i hated it as i wanted him to have my OH surname and we had to stay in hospital due to complications but it is how its done weather you object or not, its the same as children in hospital being tags so they cant be removed from the ward (although my sons tag kept falling off so it was less than useless)- it all kidnap precautions, as soon as your out of the hospital you can call your kid anything you like but the birth records and hospital tags up until the registered on a birth certificate will say the mother last name

maybe it is different in some area but i cant imagine the protection laws for the safety of babies will vary that greatly

 

[wannabemomy37]

I agree that you should definitely talk to someone who has experience in this field of study and definitely know what needs to happen should you need to file for child support, etc.

I am pretty sure that as long as your parents don't say anything, he is fine as far as the rape law goes...It is so common and I've only heard of it being a problem if something is filed against them. Just think about it, sexual intimacy is a private thing anyways and you aren't required to tell anyone about who/if you're dating and/or having sex, so as long as everyone keeps their mouth shut you'll be fine. Obviously you're pregnant so yes, it seems as if said boyfriend is the baby's father, but honestly only you, your boyfriend, and a DNA test could prove that to outsiders.

And I think what a PP was trying to say is that when a baby is born, it is called "Baby _____"(Last name of the mother), so yes, he/she will have your last name until you fill out the paperwork. You can then switch it on paper and by the time you leave the hospital he/she will then have whichever surname you wrote down.

 

[BubsMom17]

I agree that you should definitely talk to someone who has experience in this field of study and definitely know what needs to happen should you need to file for child support, etc.

I am pretty sure that as long as your parents don't say anything, he is fine as far as the rape law goes...It is so common and I've only heard of it being a problem if something is filed against them. Just think about it, sexual intimacy is a private thing anyways and you aren't required to tell anyone about who/if you're dating and/or having sex, so as long as everyone keeps their mouth shut you'll be fine. Obviously you're pregnant so yes, it seems as if said boyfriend is the baby's father, but honestly only you, your boyfriend, and a DNA test could prove that to outsiders.

And I think what a PP was trying to say is that when a baby is born, it is called "Baby _____"(Last name of the mother), so yes, he/she will have your last name until you fill out the paperwork. You can then switch it on paper and by the time you leave the hospital he/she will then have whichever surname you wrote down.

When my son was born, DH and I were not married yet. We filled out the ppwk right away, and he was given my fiance's last name right away. They never made any comments or anything about us having different last names... I think it depends on the hospital you are in. We each had two wrist bands and the baby had a wrist and an ankle band and everything had to be accounted for. It said both my last name and DH's last name on the bands.

 

[bump_wanted]

I highly doubt the registrar is going to add 2+2 together and report him for statutory rape personally id tell him to man up! The delivery room is ridiculous.. Plenty people have their mothers in with them your midwife and doctor dont then presume this is your lesbian life partner see what i mean?

I also think he needs to stop being so selfish its your baby who will grow up with a blank space where the fathers name is meant to be! Xx

 

[VmrsbabcockV]

Just noticed. For some of the pp's..as far as the babys last name goes there were posts from ladies in the UK and some from the US so that could be why there is a difference!