Less than 4 months to go...pre TTC nerves?

[AmeliePoulain]

Hello ladies

Sorry straight off…it may be that all these weird feelings are connected to the fact I am at home poorly today and I am feeling a bit sorry for myself but in the last few days I think I have realised that (despite my constant moaning and wishing the seconds away) 5 June really isn’t far away and for some reason a part of me is freaking out and wandering if we should push TTC back for a while

I am really confused because one minute I feel really low and empty and all I want is to start being proactive and TTC right now and another part of me is quite terrified of the reality of it! I think it is connected, at least in part, to my job. I am on secondment from June til the end of November (covering maternity leave) People who don’t know about us wanting to TTC all seem to think the lady I am covering for won’t come back and that I will have an amazing career opportunity to carry on with the job permanently – but I know that if we were to get pg quickly that just wouldn’t happen.

*Sigh*…it really is a case of knowing there will never be a perfect time but also wanting to be sensible, rational and a little bit patient if waiting an extra 6 months really is best. I don’t understand how I can want something so badly and then also be afraid of it and want to push it away. It is just with all the emotions that are caught up with WWT, I feel like I can’t distinguish cold feet from normal pre TTC nerves!!!

Sorry for the long post – I needed to vent and I don’t want to confuse DH any more than he is already living with a crazy woman

 

[lovehearts]

awww huni My time is creeping nearer as well - only 3 months left for me and i have freaked out a few times but it always comes back to me wanting a baby. I guess everything else is in order for me but for you if you think the career is something you will enjoy and be gutted if you miss the opportunity then perhaps hold on 6 months? I hope you can get your head around it and decide what you want xxxxx

 

[AmeliePoulain]

awww huni My time is creeping nearer as well - only 3 months left for me and i have freaked out a few times but it always comes back to me wanting a baby. I guess everything else is in order for me but for you if you think the career is something you will enjoy and be gutted if you miss the opportunity then perhaps hold on 6 months? I hope you can get your head around it and decide what you want xxxxx

Thank you I guess the real issue is that everything is based on assumptions...1. People are assuming that the maternity leave lady won't come back AND assuming I get her job permanantly 2. (and it is a massive assumption!) that we get pregnant really quickly...lets face it, it could very very easily take 6 months for it to happen.

I would like to be in a slightly different job position before I go off on maternity leave BUT like you say I need to weigh that up against how much I want for us to have a family

 

[lovehearts]

i agree it is all based on assumptions. Perhaps she will return to the position and if you have put off ttc how gutted will you feel? surly she will return if the job is that good?

xxx

 

[AmeliePoulain]

i agree it is all based on assumptions. Perhaps she will return to the position and if you have put off ttc how gutted will you feel? surly she will return if the job is that good?

xxx

It really does boil down to the whole 'there is never an ideal time' and 'you can't have everything' issues

 

[Amygdala]

I think it's perfectly normal to get nervous and over-think things. I know I do from time to time and I'm still 5 months away. I'm in a similar-ish situation jobwise and have decided (for myself) that baby is more important than job for now. That's also to do with the fact that this way I'll get an extra year at home with LO though, which I couldn't afford to have later.
I think you need to put the baby nerves aside and try to weight up how important that potential new job is. And also how much you like your current position. If you're basically fine where you are then you might not really have a reason to wait? But then if the new job would make your life a lot better, then it might be worth gambling 6 months on? You can't ever predict these things reliably so I'd go with the option that carries the least chance of disappointment. Ie would waiting and then NOT getting the job be better or worse than not waiting, getting pregnant straight away and knowing you didn't give yourself a chance to try for the job?
Good luck with your decision!

 

[silverbell]

Awww, Amelie.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so mixed up about things.

Thankfully I am in a job that has no way of promotion or movement of any kind and so I don't have these issues or else I can imagine I'd be feeling exactly like you are now.

Perhaps you should carry on as if TTC in June and maybe you'll know more about the job nearer the time or maybe you'll realise you're just not happy trying yet and decide to delay it a little bit. I agree with you that it's difficult to know how long TTC will take, but there are women who get pregnant on their first try (lucky wotsits!)

I soooo wish we had a time machine sometimes.

I really do hope that you are feeling better soon and that you feel more clear about things shortly.

 

[AmeliePoulain]

My hubby just rang me from work and I told him that I felt weird and confuzzled

He did make the good point that whatever happens now (unless we had some huge contraceptive slip up this month...which is unlikely) I will be able to do the whole 6 months of the secondment (which is important because it is an extra £1500 over the 6 months between June and November)

I think work wise unless something major changes we will go for it in June as we planned - if during the course of my secondment I get the opportunity to apply for the job on a permanent basis then it doesnt mean we can't stop TTC at that point IF that is best for us at that point. If I am pregnant already at that stage...then that's what is planned out for us I guess!

THERE WILL NEVER BE A PERFECT TIME!!!! I need to repeat that mantra over and over again!!!

DH was quite funny (it is mainly because of him that we are waiting to TTC) his initial reaction was "you can't change your mind now...not after 10 months of going on about it...I'm going to get you knocked up in June regardless...I'm sure you will get used to the idea "

Silverbell - I am definitely up for this time machine idea

 

[princess_bump]

i agree, there is never the 'perfect' time to start ttc, i think it's about what feels right, deep down in your heart for both you and your hubby.
i no when we first started ttc for maddi, material things weren't 'perfect' but when i got that bfp, everything was perfect, i like to think with ttc it just has a habit of working out well, if that makes sense

 

[Amygdala]

his initial reaction was "you can't change your mind now...not after 10 months of going on about it...I'm going to get you knocked up in June regardless...I'm sure you will get used to the idea "

I'm sure with support like that you'll get over your nerves in no time! Seriously though, THERE'S NEVER A PERFECT TIME!

 

[Damita]

How exciting!! Not long now!!

 

[Dumpling]

This must be how men feel & why they get all weirded out & change their minds! At least we have that strong, broody, craving for a baby that still gets us through!

 

[plutosblue]

Awwwwww hun Its ok, I get like that all the time.

I know your anxious and we all get like that, just get to baby making and once the buns in the oven its tuff

There is never an ideal time, something always has to be sacrificed!

 

[Damita]

Awwwwww hun Its ok, I get like that all the time.

I know your anxious and we all get like that, just get to baby making and once the buns in the oven its tuff

There is never an ideal time, something always has to be sacrificed!

Totally agree, once the baby is there, you will adapt and it will feel not so scary, well minus the labor bit which freaks me out!

 

[bethneebabe]

I am so glad that other WTT ladies have moments of second thoughts. I am the first woman in my family, really, ever who has been able to plan pregnancy. For my mom/aunts/grandmothers it was kinda like, "Oh, I'm pregnant. Guess I'm ready to be a mom" So they aren't much help with the nerves part.

 

[beccad]

I am so glad that other WTT ladies have moments of second thoughts. I am the first woman in my family, really, ever who has been able to plan pregnancy. For my mom/aunts/grandmothers it was kinda like, "Oh, I'm pregnant. Guess I'm ready to be a mom" So they aren't much help with the nerves part.

Yes, definitely I don't know anyone who has deliberately fallen pregnant. Just sort of happened LOL!

 

[Baby Love]

We're 'deliberately' falling pregnant because we're a same sex couple! So we're planning it down to the last detail...sometimes I just wish it could be a happy accident because it takes all the pressure away. I'm not nervous but my wife is a little bit. I get a little worried sometimes but never to a point where it makes me want to push the date back or anything. I know that when I finally get pregnant, I'll have a whole 9 months to calm my nerves! I just wish I could convince my wife that so we could start TTC now