Letter to my Dr. (It's very long sorry. Just need clean my heart)

[B4bee]

Dear Dr A,
I am now almost 33 years old. I had my last pap at your office 10 months ago when I told you that I was out of birth control for 1 year (holly cow! Didn't realize it) and wanted TTC. I shared my irregular cycle info and the blood test show high prolactin. I had a ultrasound. "Dear patient you have "string of pearls", make sure you see an endocrinologist to take care of the prolactin and I see you in a year."
I saw the endocrinologist and the prolactin was fine. "Dear patient, you are overweight but your thyroid seems fine. Cut some calories and in 2 years you should have no problem TTC." Dr B I can't wait this long due to my age. Lets try Belviq. I Lost 15lb.
I got very sick. Visit PCP Dr C. "Dear patient if, you want to TTC soon need stop Belviq that I refilled a month ago and all the reflux medicine I prescribed to you when I ignored the fact that you told me 100 times you were going to TTC".
Gained 10lb back.
I read about Vitex and thought that could help me. Took for 1 cycle and.... BFP!!!
I called your office but you won't see me until 7 weeks.
I started bleeding 4 days after my very first bfp. I called your office again 10 times to finally get the nurse. Dr D from your office saw me 3 days after my bleeding started. He performed an ultrasound and nothing was visible at 5 weeks. He laugh at me about Vitex "Did the Internet also said to you to jump from the bridge?". "You have string of pearls make sure you see a fertility clinic your insurance should cover, let's make a hcg blood, bye" the hcg came back at 2, and I know because the nurse called me back after the 25th voicemail I left next day asking for results. "Dear patient, you are not pregnant. No need to repeat the hcg level test and btw you are A-."
I stopped Vitex, next cycle temp. drop and AF (2 days of spotting only) 10 days after ovulation and I know that because I started Bbt chart but didn't tell you afraid that you and other Dr's would probably laugh again.
I bought the book "taking charge of you fertility" and I decided that I won't rely on your help again. Maybe it would save me precious time and many tears if you spent 5 minutes talking to me about PCOS and this string of pearls you guys kept talking about, short luteal phase, chemical pregnancy and miscarriage, etc.
I heard "Sorry" about my miscarriage from many good heart nice helpful ladies at this forum, but not once at your office.
I am back on Vitex and maybe I will see you in 7 weeks, or maybe I will find Dr R(ight).

 

[Flueky88]

I just wanted to say I read your letter. It was very touching and I'm sorry your doctors have just thrown out your concerns and dropped the ball. I hope that you are blessed with your bfp very soon and find your dr. R.

 

[Sheece]

I'm so sorry you had that experience with your doctor and so sorry you had a miscarriage

I hope you can find a doctor that is much more proactive, professional and just nicer! So that when you get your BFP you have a great experience.

 

[KatO79]

I'm so sorry that your REs/Drs haven't been taking you seriously and have been so rude. I would advise you to find another clinic since it doesn't seem like the one you're going to is helping you.

I read about Vitex and thought that could help me. Took for 1 cycle and.... BFP!!!
I called your office but you won't see me until 7 weeks.
I started bleeding 4 days after my very first bfp. I called your office again 10 times to finally get the nurse. Dr D from your office saw me 3 days after my bleeding started.

To be fair the REs can't do anything about you miscarrying that early. Miscarriages that early are normally due to genetic abnormalties and there's nothing to be done in that case. I've had a CP myself after my IVF #1 back in December so know how awful they are but there's no way anyone can do anything to save the pregnancy when it's so early days.

I heard "Sorry" about my miscarriage from many good heart nice helpful ladies at this forum, but not once at your office.

I think you may be expecting too much of a "touchy, feely holding hands" kind of treatment and to be fair, many clinics just don't offer that. I'm currently doing my 2nd IVF and after my CP after IVF #1 none of my REs or even the nurse who called me about the CP said "Sorry about your CP" although they did seem like they could see it was a pity for me. The clinic at the hospital I go to are treating about 350 couples at a time and they just don't have the time or the emotional excess to hold every couples' hands and offer much emotional support (although they do listen to any concerns or questions you may have with a sympathetic ear and take you seriously). If you need to have a more personal experience like that you may want to find a small clinic that doesn't have many patients. Or maybe join a support group in your area for those going through infertility? Plus you have all the ladies on the forum here for emotional support whenever you need it

I hope you don't think I'm being mean, it's not my intention at all! Just that you may be expecting too much emotional support from your clinic and it's really not their job: their job is to help you get pregnant! Although in this case they sound like they're doing a crappy job of it so you probably should switch clinics So yeah, maybe find a small clinic that you know is more into offering emotional support when you need it.

Also I don't think I'd send that letter. I'd just find a new clinic and tell this RE that you haven't been satisfied with your treatment and have found another clinic that's more willing to listen to you.

I truely do hope you find another RE that takes you seriously and is more supportive

 

[B4bee]

I'm so sorry that your REs/Drs haven't been taking you seriously and have been so rude. I would advise you to find another clinic since it doesn't seem like the one you're going to is helping you.

I read about Vitex and thought that could help me. Took for 1 cycle and.... BFP!!!
I called your office but you won't see me until 7 weeks.
I started bleeding 4 days after my very first bfp. I called your office again 10 times to finally get the nurse. Dr D from your office saw me 3 days after my bleeding started.

To be fair the REs can't do anything about you miscarrying that early. Miscarriages that early are normally due to genetic abnormalties and there's nothing to be done in that case. I've had a CP myself after my IVF #1 back in December so know how awful they are but there's no way anyone can do anything to save the pregnancy when it's so early days.

I heard "Sorry" about my miscarriage from many good heart nice helpful ladies at this forum, but not once at your office.

I think you may be expecting too much of a "touchy, feely holding hands" kind of treatment and to be fair, many clinics just don't offer that. I'm currently doing my 2nd IVF and after my CP after IVF #1 none of my REs or even the nurse who called me about the CP said "Sorry about your CP" although they did seem like they could see it was a pity for me. The clinic at the hospital I go to are treating about 350 couples at a time and they just don't have the time or the emotional excess to hold every couples' hands and offer much emotional support (although they do listen to any concerns or questions you may have with a sympathetic ear and take you seriously). If you need to have a more personal experience like that you may want to find a small clinic that doesn't have many patients. Or maybe join a support group in your area for those going through infertility? Plus you have all the ladies on the forum here for emotional support whenever you need it

I hope you don't think I'm being mean, it's not my intention at all! Just that you may be expecting too much emotional support from your clinic and it's really not their job: their job is to help you get pregnant! Although in this case they sound like they're doing a crappy job of it so you probably should switch clinics So yeah, maybe find a small clinic that you know is more into offering emotional support when you need it.

Also I don't think I'd send that letter. I'd just find a new clinic and tell this RE that you haven't been satisfied with your treatment and have found another clinic that's more willing to listen to you.

I truely do hope you find another RE that takes you seriously and is more supportive

Thanks for answering. This letter was never meant to be sent. It was just me cleaning my chest.
I don't think you were being mean at all. I truly appreciate your advices.

 

[Mrs. Atole]

Dear Dr A,
I am now almost 33 years old. I had my last pap at your office 10 months ago when I told you that I was out of birth control for 1 year (holly cow! Didn't realize it) and wanted TTC. I shared my irregular cycle info and the blood test show high prolactin. I had a ultrasound. "Dear patient you have "string of pearls", make sure you see an endocrinologist to take care of the prolactin and I see you in a year."
I saw the endocrinologist and the prolactin was fine. "Dear patient, you are overweight but your thyroid seems fine. Cut some calories and in 2 years you should have no problem TTC." Dr B I can't wait this long due to my age. Lets try Belviq. I Lost 15lb.
I got very sick. Visit PCP Dr C. "Dear patient if, you want to TTC soon need stop Belviq that I refilled a month ago and all the reflux medicine I prescribed to you when I ignored the fact that you told me 100 times you were going to TTC".
Gained 10lb back.
I read about Vitex and thought that could help me. Took for 1 cycle and.... BFP!!!
I called your office but you won't see me until 7 weeks.
I started bleeding 4 days after my very first bfp. I called your office again 10 times to finally get the nurse. Dr D from your office saw me 3 days after my bleeding started. He performed an ultrasound and nothing was visible at 5 weeks. He laugh at me about Vitex "Did the Internet also said to you to jump from the bridge?". "You have string of pearls make sure you see a fertility clinic your insurance should cover, let's make a hcg blood, bye" the hcg came back at 2, and I know because the nurse called me back after the 25th voicemail I left next day asking for results. "Dear patient, you are not pregnant. No need to repeat the hcg level test and btw you are A-."
I stopped Vitex, next cycle temp. drop and AF (2 days of spotting only) 10 days after ovulation and I know that because I started Bbt chart but didn't tell you afraid that you and other Dr's would probably laugh again.
I bought the book "taking charge of you fertility" and I decided that I won't rely on your help again. Maybe it would save me precious time and many tears if you spent 5 minutes talking to me about PCOS and this string of pearls you guys kept talking about, short luteal phase, chemical pregnancy and miscarriage, etc.
I heard "Sorry" about my miscarriage from many good heart nice helpful ladies at this forum, but not once at your office.
I am back on Vitex and maybe I will see you in 7 weeks, or maybe I will find Dr R(ight).[/QUOTE


I read your letter and you need to defiantly seek a better doctor, we decide who( doctor) is best for us not anyone else. Good Luck !

 

[MumDreamz]

Yeah, I agree with the others. While professionals don't necessarily need to be "sorry". They should show some compassion by explaining to you what's happened and be open to their client trying some products. I know doctors hate when you try something they didn't request, but good ones are usually okay with it and if they don't like the product then most of them will tell you a better brand.

 

[2ducks]

Definitely find a new PCP! I actually see a family nurse practitioner for my PCP and I LOVE her. She listens to me; my ideas are important to her and my fears are valid. Unfortunately I find that many doctors are not really in medicine because they like to help people, I think they are highly intelligent people who want a challenging and prestigious career and therefore become doctors. If you truly do not like your RE, try and find another one. I live in a state with few REs, so if I need to be referred pickings will be slim, but if you have other options than go for it.