light hearted ttc

[josephine3]

We're just using condoms for now. I dont really feel comfortable going on the pill altho they say the mini-pill is safe while bfing. When he feeds a bit less i will think about it! Also we never get time to dtd anyway! Think we've only done it twice since i gave birth lol. I never did take a hpt when i had those pregnancy symptoms but i dont think i can be. Still get an empty sicky feeling some mornings tho.
Ashley i bet ur ohh new but didnt say anything to keep the peace! My oh says he hates being 'inthe middle' when it come to his mum cos we dont get on so great.
I also thought maybe she misses having her babies but shs had her turn these are my babies! I thihk she thinks being a grandma gives her certain 'rights' but i dont think so!

 

[hello_kitty]

thats why I havent picked it up yet, I was thinking the same thing jo was debating on whether to take it or not. Even if we dont use any protection, I honestly think we dont dtd often enough to even have a slight chance of getting pregnant.

If I ever become a grandma in the future, i would never have my grandkids call me mom but I already know in advance how much I would miss the baby days when I hold my grand children...I imagine it would bring back great memories.

So, I was laying in bed and thinking about the roles of grand parents. Usually the daughters/daughters in laws dont include the grand parents enough in the babies life and they feel left out. I'm doing the exact same thing. Sometimes my mom just wants to see the babies and ask if I can bring them up to her house and the majority of the time I say no because I'm too lazy thinking if she wants to see the kids she can come to me. Sometimes she really wants to take the baby for a night or two but again I say no because I want baby all to myself...she must feel pretty sad.

One day I will be a grandma and I know my daughter in law/daughter (I notice it doesnt really happen with sons that often) will not involve me as much as I like. I'm already feeling sad. If that does happen, I guess it'll be karma because I am sure I'm not involving my mom enough because I want baby all to myself lol.

Sorry, this is not against all daugters/daughter in laws. Just speaking for myself and what I notice around me. Having a thoughtful moment I guess.

Guess all I am wondering is today we are young mothers, we do what we think is best for our babies and often times it contradicts with our mothers/mils belief...but when we grow old and its our turn to be in their shoes will we become "that grandma?"

 

[josephine3]

I kno what u mean. I think my 'mil' feels left out. I see my own mom pretty regularly as she lives in my street but not as regularly as shed like. Doent help that its only weekends the mil can see us, and that is the time other people are free too. Add in trying to fit in family time around ohs work scehdule and theres just not enuf time to fit everyone in! Chrtistmas soon doesnt help either!

 

[AC1987]

My MIL sees the kids ALOT pretty much 3-4 times or more a month. My mom aside from coming for a while when rose was first born doesn't see them unless I go there
I think with my MIL we more don't get along with she will think Cassidy is older than she is, so like she'll give her things or want to take her places where I know she is too young for right now.
I feel a bit sad how Rose doesn't get the attention that Cassidy got, like with my MIL she made Cassidy blankets and was always buying her clothes etc, Rose hasn't received hardly anything yet.


I'm not on any bc either, we're not even using condoms not that we're even dtding or anything, I think we to have only done it like twice... DH is SO paranoid that I'm gonna get pregnant and then refuses to buy any condoms ppfftt!

 

[hello_kitty]

I know what you mean Ashley! I know some men are too stressed out to dtd because they think even touching their so for fear of getting them pregnant.

My mom is actually the opposite. She loved Zachary until Jayden came along but she doesnt buy them anything. Zachary just had a christmas outfit and that was it for his almost 2 years of life. She just recently bought them matching outfits because she said "I've never gotten them anything anyways". I have a 3.5 year old sister so I dont think my mom misses the baby days yet like your moms do...she doesnt shower them with gifts or anything.

 

[josephine3]

Gosh what age gap is that for ur mom?! My mil definitely goes over the top on the gifts but georgia had more. She thinks the more expensive (and unfortunately often bigger) the better. Our house is full of huge toys she bought georgia. I think they dont kno how else to show their feelings or maybe trying to make up for not being there so much.
Do u also think itd different when ur daughter has a baby as opposed to your son too? I imagine most ladies moms are closer to their grandchildren then the ladies partners moms? If that makes sense! Mayb its just that i havent been there yet, i cant imagine loving them differently if my babies go on to have children.

 

[hello_kitty]

A huge age gap Jo! In the beginning, I was pretty embarrassed about such the huge age gap, I'm old enough to be her mom! Zachary and my youngest sis is only 17 months apart. She was an "accident" as my mom called it.

I also feel that way about the mother's being closer to their daughter's children than their son's...I mean not me but I think my mil favors my sil's child over my own kids. Whenever she calls over here she goes on and on about her daughter and her grand child and doesnt really acknowledge me or the kids..my husband has to gently remind her that we exist my bringing us up in the conversation.

Btw - my mom was 40 when she had my little sister and in my opinion thats old I wouldnt have any kids past the standard age of 35 (trying to be done by 30). It was quite unnecessary too because she had 4 kids at home with her ranging from 9 - 17.

 

[josephine3]

You say that now but what about an accident? Lol.
So how old are u? Im still trying to work out the age gap lol. Or how long was it between children for ur mother...?

 

[magicwhisper]

hello! im here

we are ok, ella is 5 months now! and we are trying find out the best milk for her milk intollerance, we finally found a doctor who belives us yay

 

[hello_kitty]

Accident? Me? Nuh uh! If I am past the age that I want to have children, I'm gonna make sure that my tubes are tied. My ideal plan is to finish having kids by age 30 and get the 5 year IUD until I turn 35. If we are completely done and no more baby fever during the 5 year period, I'm getting my tubes tied. I hate people who call their babies "accidents" like my mom did and still do. If you dont want a baby, there are many ways to prevent it. Dont bring them into the world and say they are an accident. I think I like the word "unexpected" more, maybe they mean the same to some but I just find the word "accident" as derogatory when it comes to babies.

I'm turning 25 in December.

So the age gap between all of is from oldest to youngest is 24 (almost 25), 19 (almost 20), 18, 16 (almost 17), 12, 3.5.

Zoey - yay on finding a doc that can help you!

 

[AC1987]

I don't know if I posted or now about Rose's eye doctor appointment... apparently she is fine! Its just cause she is part Asian she has Asian eyes LOL

I find with Rose its like since she is a girl everyone thinks I'll just pass on Cassidy's things to her, but like clothes wise there are SOMETHINGS that will work with but then others clothes its the wrong season. And then with toys everyone bought Cassidy stuff and nothing for Rose.. and like I don't want to give ALL of Cassidy's stuff to Rose, like I want for Cassidy to have things to call her own

Anyways... Rose is 7 months tomorrow!! NOOOO!! Why must my tiny baby become big baby?

 

[hello_kitty]

Ashley - glad that Rose's eyes are fine. I dont have any experience about people not buying things for the second child because no one bought anything for Zachary anyways. I do pass on Zachary's clothes though, whatever Jayden can wear. Jayden had his own summer lot though so he was born in July...but going forward he will wear the majority of Zachary's clothes which is a ridiculous amount and buying anymore would be wasteful...but I will have to buy a new winter wardrobe for 6/9 and 9/12 for Jayden because it was summer when Zachary was around those months.

Zachary doesnt have a favorite toy so everything is being passed on to Jayden.

I know how you feel about the growing up. At first you cant wait for them to grow up and once they do you miss it.

 

[josephine3]

She has Asian eyes?! Lol. And the first doctor reffered u? How silly. Glad all is well what was the worry again i forget?
Jamie only has a few of his own toys and yes people havent really bought him much. Georgia has to 'share' everything im not buying any more toys when we have a houseful already! Strange how baby toys they havent played with in years suddenly become favourites again lol.

 

[ricschick]

hi guys glad to hear everyones doing fine!!
unfortunately my mum and mil arnt trust worthy enough to have our children for the night, we no longer see my mil and ive just got back talking to my mum who insists on going on binges so I don't trust her! and I wont take my children to her house as it isn't clean enough!! its a shame for my children but we do have my aunt who is pretty much like their nan and is having them all next year so me and hubby can go away to Sardinia!

im back on the pill but have been bleeding/spotting ever since joanie was born so I had swobs done Monday to make sure there is no infection!!

how are all the babies getting on? im happy to say joanie is sleeping through now phew!! but growing out of her moses basket!! so she will need to go in her cot soon but its in her room which im nervous about!! any of yours gone into their own room yet? xx

 

[AC1987]

Jo, same here its like toys I even put away like the teething ones, now Cassidy wants them. I just tell her no because I know she doesn't need them though it does result in a crying fit usually.
Somedays its like she cries over EVERYTHING.

The thing with Rose's eyes is that it looked like one of her eyes was turned in, but the eye doctor explained its just because the bridge of her nose is bigger since of her background and therefore it appears like she is cross eyed. But he gave some things to look out for if it really was it.

Did I say Rose can crawl now? And getting pretty fast too, and is at the stage where she finds any bit of garbage to put in her mouth, whether its a thread or a piece of paper... annoying!

Here is a mini rant.
I CAN'T SEEM TO CLEAN ENOUGH!! I feel like my house is ALWAYS dirty I just CANNOT keep up... and I run out of time and energy in the day to do everything I want to.

 

[hello_kitty]

Nice to hear from you Claire! Happy for you that Joanie is sleeping through the night! So is Jayden! I think he started sleeping 6 hour stretches since 2 months...and now he's sleeping 10 hour stretches!

I keep having a falling out with my mom. She said some mean things about me having my kids so close in age. Saying that I should've waited to have Jayden in the first place and waited for Zachary to be older so that I could spend quality time with Zachary. She said that she feels bad for Zachary because he's not getting all the attention and love that he should be getting because I am too busy taking care of Jayden. Darn it, I started to flip out because I DO love Zachary. Unlike what she assumes, I do not cast him aside after Jayden was born. I actually love him more and give him plenty of attention because I dont want him to feel left out. Is anyone else getting this kind of crab about having your kids close in age?

She says that he's always locked up in his prison (his play yard)..wth? What does she know living 1 hour away and barely visiting? Its his play area for goodness sakes! He has a choice whether he wants to play in there or not, if he gets tired of playing he just gets out and follow me around.

Sorry for goign on, but I am just so pissed off because I love Zachary so much and here is my mom criticizing me for not giving Zachary enough attention...obviously she is imagining things in her own head that are not happening.

btw, does anyone feel envious of other babies that are bigger than their own? I saw this baby that is 4 days younger than Jayden and weighs 15 lbs at 3 months...and I was like "wow, really wish Jayden is that big"...He only weighs 12.5 lbs at 3.5 months. People think he's chubby but thats only because he's short. Hoping for another growth spurt soon.

 

[josephine3]

I wouldnt mind a smaller baby lol. Jamie is 18lb 2 at 4 months!
Rics thats great Joanie is sleeping thru. I think Jamie is going thru some kind of regression his sleep is awful at the moment its wearing me out. We had the same problem with growing out of the basket and are using my mums travel cot nest to the bed. I dont want to pt him in his own room yet as he still wakes in the night and it would wake Georgia too. Then there'd be trouble lol.

 

[ricschick]

HK I think your mum is out of order!! Am I right in saying your not that close to her?? I think she is jealous of you and your lovely family ignore her Hun having babies close together is lovely I think as they grow up close!! Xxx

 

[magicwhisper]

im glad everyone is ok

 

[hello_kitty]

Claire, I havent been talking to her for over a week now. Suits me fine! I dont miss her. I think she is giving me a silent treatment...but I didnt do anything wrong so idc.