Gnomer
Expecting number 2!
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2011
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I'm going to fill you all in on a bit of background, so be warned, this is long.
I'm currently living with my parents. We have a 3 bedroom house, and I have a younger brother and a younger sister. My brother suffers with ADHD, although he is 19 now and has it under control for the most part.
Now my younger sister, (whom i share a room with) has severe OCD. She is 12 years old, and it became noticeable and was diagnosed when she was in year 3 at school, so around 7-8 years old. She was at a psychiatrist but it really didn't work, and we have noticed a steady decline in her condition.
her OCD currently involves her touching things, not neatening them or cleaning, but just HAVING to touch things. She pushes things off shelves, kicks things, touches everything in the bathroom, the toilet, the sink, the cabinet, the window sill, the bath, EVERYTHING. She also kicks things as she moves through the house. Knocks the shoes of the shoe shelf thing everytime she passes it.
She also destroys things. Hides things. She takes my clothes and my shoes, puts them in the bath so they are soaked, then hides them behind my wardrobe. Many times I have found things hidden for so long, they are full of mold and ruined. Hundreds of pounds worth of my belongings have been ruined beyond repair.
Now as you can imagine, this is VERY stressful. Especially since I have found I am pregnant. When i fell pregnant, I was in a position to move and get a house with my OH. But, things have gone pair shaped and at the minute we are struggling more than we ever could have imagined with money. I was self employed, but it went tits up and I just wasn't earning enough to be able to justify working. OH is a plasterer, and took on a VERY large job, where the clients refused to pay. So he ended up losing everything to funding this job.
Now don't get me wrong, my tolerance for my sisters behaviour is unbelievable. But at times, I just explode and cannot help myself. Its generally after a build up. Recently she has become more aggressive, nearly sending me backwards down the stairs when I got in her way whilst she was touching stuff on the landing. A quick shove, but strong enough for me to lose my balance.
Yesterday she was at another psychologist. This time the session was very intense, and my sister explained she felt suicidal, and pinches herself and pulls her own hair if she cannot do these things. She also doesn't believe she would be able to stop herself hurting someone if they got in her way, or if she was very frustrated. Her self confidence is none existent. My parents thought this was everything, and as worrying as it was, they where on the right track and had caught her just before the fall.
However, today, her high school rang and informed my father that they had seen lots of small cuts under her elbow. And after being confronted, she has admitted to the teacher that she did them with a razor blade.
As you can imagine, this is a LOT to take in. On one side I feel so sorry for my little sister. Just 12 years old and coping with all this. But at the same time, I am resenting her. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I cannot continue living here, but I do not have anywhere else to go. Well not yet. Me and OH are thinking we should have enough to private rent in the next couple of month.
I don't know if I can last another couple of months! I'm having to try so hard to continue to be a support, even though my own life has become more stressful than i can cope with. I have to continue to let her destroy everything I own. My emotions are all over the show, and I'm finding it just so hard.
I am starting to hate myself. How can I be feeling so much anger towards someone who has very clear, serious issues. Someone who needs the help and continuing support of her family.
I've always thought I was a kind, patient person. I always tried my utmost to help my brother growing up, and my sister up until 6 months ago.
But now, now I feel incredibly selfish. I feel so stupid for letting myself get into this situation. I feel like an immature dickhead that went about rushing to get pregnant, with no future or plans or security.
I thought I had it all great. I thought we'd have a house, a proper family home, and we'd be happy and settled and excited. But instead, I'm a big ball of emotion.
I don't really know the point in this thread. Mainly to vent, i think. I have no one in real life I can disclose this too. I've always been a bottler, but I needed to get this out.
I apologize for it being so long, and not really having a point.
I'm currently living with my parents. We have a 3 bedroom house, and I have a younger brother and a younger sister. My brother suffers with ADHD, although he is 19 now and has it under control for the most part.
Now my younger sister, (whom i share a room with) has severe OCD. She is 12 years old, and it became noticeable and was diagnosed when she was in year 3 at school, so around 7-8 years old. She was at a psychiatrist but it really didn't work, and we have noticed a steady decline in her condition.
her OCD currently involves her touching things, not neatening them or cleaning, but just HAVING to touch things. She pushes things off shelves, kicks things, touches everything in the bathroom, the toilet, the sink, the cabinet, the window sill, the bath, EVERYTHING. She also kicks things as she moves through the house. Knocks the shoes of the shoe shelf thing everytime she passes it.
She also destroys things. Hides things. She takes my clothes and my shoes, puts them in the bath so they are soaked, then hides them behind my wardrobe. Many times I have found things hidden for so long, they are full of mold and ruined. Hundreds of pounds worth of my belongings have been ruined beyond repair.
Now as you can imagine, this is VERY stressful. Especially since I have found I am pregnant. When i fell pregnant, I was in a position to move and get a house with my OH. But, things have gone pair shaped and at the minute we are struggling more than we ever could have imagined with money. I was self employed, but it went tits up and I just wasn't earning enough to be able to justify working. OH is a plasterer, and took on a VERY large job, where the clients refused to pay. So he ended up losing everything to funding this job.
Now don't get me wrong, my tolerance for my sisters behaviour is unbelievable. But at times, I just explode and cannot help myself. Its generally after a build up. Recently she has become more aggressive, nearly sending me backwards down the stairs when I got in her way whilst she was touching stuff on the landing. A quick shove, but strong enough for me to lose my balance.
Yesterday she was at another psychologist. This time the session was very intense, and my sister explained she felt suicidal, and pinches herself and pulls her own hair if she cannot do these things. She also doesn't believe she would be able to stop herself hurting someone if they got in her way, or if she was very frustrated. Her self confidence is none existent. My parents thought this was everything, and as worrying as it was, they where on the right track and had caught her just before the fall.
However, today, her high school rang and informed my father that they had seen lots of small cuts under her elbow. And after being confronted, she has admitted to the teacher that she did them with a razor blade.
As you can imagine, this is a LOT to take in. On one side I feel so sorry for my little sister. Just 12 years old and coping with all this. But at the same time, I am resenting her. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I cannot continue living here, but I do not have anywhere else to go. Well not yet. Me and OH are thinking we should have enough to private rent in the next couple of month.
I don't know if I can last another couple of months! I'm having to try so hard to continue to be a support, even though my own life has become more stressful than i can cope with. I have to continue to let her destroy everything I own. My emotions are all over the show, and I'm finding it just so hard.
I am starting to hate myself. How can I be feeling so much anger towards someone who has very clear, serious issues. Someone who needs the help and continuing support of her family.
I've always thought I was a kind, patient person. I always tried my utmost to help my brother growing up, and my sister up until 6 months ago.
But now, now I feel incredibly selfish. I feel so stupid for letting myself get into this situation. I feel like an immature dickhead that went about rushing to get pregnant, with no future or plans or security.
I thought I had it all great. I thought we'd have a house, a proper family home, and we'd be happy and settled and excited. But instead, I'm a big ball of emotion.
I don't really know the point in this thread. Mainly to vent, i think. I have no one in real life I can disclose this too. I've always been a bottler, but I needed to get this out.
I apologize for it being so long, and not really having a point.
