looking for advice....

[staycb01]

Hi ladies!

I had a MMC last July at 9 weeks. Had a strong heartbeat at 6 week U/S and then at the 9 week appointment there was no heartbeat any longer. I'm sure this is a very common feeling after you experience a loss and then a new pregnancy, but just can't help but to feel doomed. I have no reason at this point to really feel that way though, as my HCG levels have been more than great each time, but I just can't grasp the concept that this could possibly work out. The loss last year took a huge toll on me and the hubby, and I could not bare it again.
So, what I am wondering is.... how did you ladies cope with a new pregnancy if you had a loss previously?

 

[jlw617]

Honestly it's difficult, I also had a mmc after a long time of trying (for us) it was really hard because we wanted our baby so badly, getting pregnant again made me elated but shortly after doubts began to creep into my mind, I just have to put my faith into action and take it day by day and try my best to remain positive about it. I could be wrong but what I've read suggests that a second mc in a row is less likely to happen, though obviously especially being on this site we know it's possible, I focus on the fact that my chances are lower.

 

[nicb26]

Hi, I'm really sorry for your loss. I had two last year, so am very very nervous with this pregnancy. I know exactly what you mean when you say you can't imagine it being ok. The lovely ladies at epu have booked me in for an early scan at 8+3 (apparently the baby takes quite a developmental leap at 8 weeks so if it survives that it's really positive). So that's helping a bit. Apart from that I'm trying to do deep breathing exercises and a bit of meditation to try and relax (you can find guided meditation videos on YouTube). Just trying to take each day as it comes really.

Good luck, I really hope that this is your sticky baby xxx

 

[Mississippi03]

Ill be 12 weeks tomorrow and im still not 'excited'. I want to be.. But i have such nerves over it. I try to just live life.
I bought a doppler, couldnt find hb until in my 10th week.. But it makes me feel relief when i can find it. Some people find it more stressful. Definitely dont get one this soon though.. Wait until around 9 weeks if you o make the choice to get one.
I doubt ill be excited until we find out the sex and i start having a baby belly that pops out to rmind me every day lol

 

[girlinyork]

The pregnancy after a loss board on here is great. You can usually join a group of other women due the same time as you for support. It helps keep me sane x

 

[2have4kids]

We've never made it to the 13 week nauchal translucency scan (3previous losses). I too have a fetal doppler but havent't been able to find the heartbeat this week. Week 7,8,and 9 my doctor set up u/s's for me but we're at week 11 and I just have this horrible feeling that baby has died again.

Just fill your days with things to do. I work out, I'll be doing errands and some home renos today. Try not to let your mind think too much. I don't believe it gets easier but for the sake of your sanity you have to stay positive and hope for the best.

Some women don't allow themselves to experience the joys that women feel who've never experienced a loss. IE in our adoption workshop (yes we were on the adoption list when I fell pregnant), many women refused to get a crib, bedding, onsies, diapers etc before the baby was actually in their arms. I'm refusing to go down that route. No matter what, we will have children in this house. So we bought a crib, an amazing beautiful fully up to code but super posh crib last week second hand. Got a steal of a deal! I am going to make sure I get to experience those fun things that most other women who've had perfect pregnancies do. It's a choice, you do what you need to do!

 

[Dark_Star]

I'm going through almost exactly the same thing. In June 2014 I had a MMC, the baby died around 7 weeks and we did not find out until a scan at 12 weeks. I had no spotting at all, just a decline in symptoms that I thought was just the first trimester passing.

I bled for 5 weeks with this pregnancy, it's been a terrible experience and I was convinced I was losing it on a daily basis. I have no good advice to offer, except to take care of yourself and keep your stress down as much as possible. I understand your feelings.

 

[staycb01]

Thank you so much ladies for responding! Makes me feel better that I'm not alone. It's so hard, but also so nice to be able to have you all to talk to