Looking for some advice. Not sure where else to seek it.

[cskme_]

Thanks everyone. It's encouraging to see that everyone is on the same page. I appreciate everyone's input

 

[MissYogi]

I agree with the others, it sounds like he may only get worse and if your mom is providing a safe place it's a good alternative. It's really important for you to feel safe right now, and for you to feel that your baby is safe.

I also live in Alberta so feel free to message me if you'd like!

 

[KatO79]

The hardest part about it is that I know he would be a great father. Everyone loves him and he is a great person to everyone else. He has no family as they have all passed away. His mom and dad passed when he was young. I feel like I would be taking his only family away from him. I'm hoping we can work something out (before I have the baby) that maybe he can move back home. (He's from the same province that my family lives in). I feel like I would be completely destroying him to take away his only blood family that he has left.

If he has NPD, he may or may not be a good father. If he is a good father, he may only be good for as long as the child worships him and quickly forgives any bad things. Once the child is older and less forgiving, he may very well turn on him/her and start abusing them the way he abuses you. My older brother, who's 23 years older than me, was for the most part an attentative and nice brother - until I got older and more critical of his behavior. Then he really started the abuse (verbal/emotional like put downs, silent treatments, gaslighting ect) and it got worse and worse. He's never been there for me, even while I was going through infertility for 2 years. Instead he used it as an opportunity to be even more hurtful and then abandoned me. Now that I've stood up for myself (in a polite but firm fashion), he's ostracised me completely and doesn't speak to me and it's been like that for over 1 year.

People with NPD aren't capable of love since they aren't capable of empathy either. So the sad fact is all my family members with this disorder don't love me and never have. I would hate for your child to experience what I went through because I can tell you it creates deep emotional and psychological scars!

If your boyfriend really wanted to work things out, he'd agree to go to a therapist but I'm guessing he wouldn't/has refused? Yeah NPDs aren't capable of introspection and they'll do whatever's possible to preserve their fantasy world in where they're always right and never, ever do anything wrong.

You're priority isn't him or his feelings, your priority right now is your child and doing what you can to protect him/her!