Looking for some advice/support....Long!

Discussion in 'Special Needs Support' started by mumof1+1, Oct 23, 2019.

  1. mumof1+1

    mumof1+1 Cautiously baking no#4

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    This is a long post so please bear with me...

    So, from being 2 years old I’ve known there was something not quite right with my son. He’s always been quite a boisterous little boy and initially I put it down to just that. But then he started to become violent and aggressive and just real angry. He’s hit me before now and his older and little sister too. Not hard as such but he’s done it. He’s booted a hole in a plasterboard wall barefoot too.
    I’ve taken him to the doctors numerous times. He’s done a thrive program at school which really seemed to help but that’s finished now. He saw a woman in June 2018 who did an assessment for potential adhd or spectrum but when the results came back just over a year later (July this year) they put it down to some kind of anxiety because he didn’t want to be away from me. He used to spend his lunch break sat by the fence watching our house and when I’d pick him up would ask me where I’d been, why someone had been etc and be swearing at me and demanding to know why I’d seen these people or been out without him. Well earlier this year, jan/Feb after his assessment but before the results all that changed and he no longer does those things and tries to control me and what I do. He’s had a good few months where he’s been a lovely little boy, a bit naughty as kids are but not violent although still a little angry. Even when my partners 2 kids moved in with us last November he was fine. Which shocked us and school as they had put things in place to deal with him as they expected him to flip. But he just didn’t... but he has now. Again. He’s lashing out and punching things, kicking and head butting things and I don’t know what to do. I’ve spoken to school, again, and they’re going to speak to him today and I have to see them at 3pm. I’m going to book him back in with the doctor and see what they will offer but I’ve been here so many times and got absolutely no help what so ever with him. This morning ended up with me bursting into tears I’m front of the kids coz I just can’t take much more. He then burst into tears obviously feeling bad. I took them to school and attempted to speak to the teacher which resulted in me and him in tears again. How do I get anyone to understand and see what’s happening??? He’s not a bad kid. Not at all. But there’s clearly something. I just don’t know what.... I gave up fighting to get help before because I wasn’t getting anywhere. I don’t have the strength to do it again. Worst part is we’re having another baby, due in March. He seems happy about this so I don’t see it being that nor can I pinpoint it being to do with me OH’s girls. I just feel so alone and broken and desperate for some advise.
    Sorry it’s long :( Thank you for reading xx
     
  2. Reid

    Reid mom of 1

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    Hi
    It really does sound like he needs some support to better manage his emotions.
    I would definitely push the gp for a referral for your son to someone who has more experience dealing with behavioural issues.
    In the uk it would CAMHS
    Child and adult adolescent mental health services. That's who diagnosed my son autistic though if your not in the uk I'm not sure what the service would be called. My son was diagnosed autistic age 4 (hes 8 now) through CAMHS
    I really hope you can get some support soon for your son and yourself
    I know from experience it can be a very hard time. Best advice from me would be stand your ground and demand a referral for your son be that pain in the backside keep calling them till you get somewhere
    Best of luck xx
     
  3. mumof1+1

    mumof1+1 Cautiously baking no#4

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    Thank you. We are UK. School are currently loading with us both to try help him but I am also going to take him back to the GP as it’s unfair on him as it is the rest of us. I hate seeing him struggling how he is. I feel helpless... I went the GP route the first time with him but very little got done in my opinion. It’s so hard these days isn’t it. Thank you for your input xx
     
  4. ClairAye

    ClairAye Mum to one of each!

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    If school are helping could you ask for the Educational Psychologist to see him?
     
    mumof1+1 likes this.
  5. mumof1+1

    mumof1+1 Cautiously baking no#4

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    If they have one? I’ll have a word when they go back on Monday.
     
  6. ClairAye

    ClairAye Mum to one of each!

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    As far as I am aware they work for the Local Authority, not a particular school so I'd think they should. :)
     
  7. smurff

    smurff Mummy to Emily and Harry

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    Hi, My Son has been dealing with some anger issues lately, he is 5 now but when he started school last year they noticed things wasn't really right with him. He would become fidgety and angry and very frustrated and he even bit a child twice. His school was amazing and they suspended all his school work and set up a special learning tray for him, he was taught in very small groups or was taught one 2 one. We had meetings with his teacher within the week aswell as the SENCO. Afew weeks later we had Peadiatrition app but that women he seen was a waste of time so I refused to take him back. We raised the subject of dyslexia as a lot of the family have this and the anger and frustration all fits in with this, but he cant be tested yet. He has lashed out a few times aswell. He started speech therepy and seen the OT and he has just seen the educational phscolgist. He is in year 1 now and he has been given a more structured time table and the change in him is amazing. He is even coming off his IBP now as he no longer needs one. We have regular meetings with the senco at school about every 6wks to see how hes getting on. I have never been to the doctor about my son's problems as I always find them a waste of time, my daughter is autistic and I never went to doctors once about her, every thing has always been done through hv or school. You shouldn't ask for help for your son you should demand help, He obviously needs a little help with something so just stand your ground and don't let them fob you off, keep calling every hour every day till something is done or just keep making app after app with doctor till he helps. It just takes 1 person to listen then everything will fall into place. good luck
     

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