Looking for support- going crazy from isolation

[spiritbear]

Hi there- I wanted to reach out to see if anyone in a similar situation had some words of wisdom

I live in a rural area with no family anywhere nearby. I stay home with my darling 1.5 year old and work 3 evenings a week while he is at a babysitter's. My husband works very long hours and has a long commute- he often isn't able to come home and stays with friends who live nearby work.

I am absolutely going crazy from how alone I feel. We do not have any type of mommy and me classes anywhere, there are no mom groups (I've even tried to start one), I have tried everything I can think of to make friends and we have made some but we don't see them a lot and I feel like I can't always be the only one initiating.

We go to playgrounds, the library.

Also, I feel like I've lost my identity since I am not able to do anything for myself- I am always taking care of the baby. I often feel like a single mom with no support even though my husband is very loving- it is just the nature of his work requirements right now. he cannot even take a day off if I am really sick or anything.

Anyway, that's my story right now. I love my husband, my baby and where we live. I am heart broken from not being near any family or close friends and I'm slipping into depression.

Thank you so much to anyone who took the time to read my son story
❤️

 

[Fizzyfefe]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have PPD and also have no other mom friends. I am lucky that hubby's family lives close by, but in-laws aren't the same as friends. I have no advice, but I wanted you to know you're not alone.

 

[VALiz]

I too live far from family and friends and have struggled to make new ones. Do you exercise or can you find some time too? Even if you have to put some chores on hold. While not helping with the loneliness, it may help raise your spirits!

 

[spiritbear]

Well thank you, I appreciate your reply and support

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle with ppd. Being a mother is no joke! I love my son like crazy but I never envisioned how lonely this could be. ❤️

 

[daneuse27]

Can you afford to hire a babysitter for yourself to be able to go out once a week on your own? Even if you don't have a friend to get together with, you could go see a movie, read a book in a cafe, go to a gym, etc. I think some 'me' time would help a lot.

Or you could quit your job (or at least move down to 1 day per week instead of 3) and use that time to do stuff for yourself instead.

I think factoring in some time for yourself is definitely needed! Every mom needs it.

 

[Teri7489]

Big hugs!

While I don't live in a rural area, I do live a bit away from things and don't drive so it's hard. I also have a family who make plenty of excuses so I rarely see them ubless it's someone's birthday or funeral (I'm not kidding) I work agency nightshift and hubby works 6 days a week 8-6 (sometimes 8) so it's very lonely some weeks. There's a toddler group from 9-11 once a week but that's it. Anything else is a half hour bus trip at least away which can be hard work with the pram and 2 children. Some days I see my husband for an hour before I go to bed/work and don't see him for 24 hours again for just an hour. Some days I walk round the local shop just to be in adult company as being with small children day and night is hard work. I love my children, I really do but it can be so lonely.

One thing I found good was pilates. I use YouTube videos when the kids are asleep and can do before bed. It had helped me sleep better, helped my mood and even helped me get my tummy down (bonus!) obviously hasn't helped make friends but sort of gave me a focus. I can't go to the gym as I don't have a baby sitter but it's a me time thats sort of the same. I can do it when I want for me.

remember the lovely ladies on here if you are ever lonely. we are all here. feel free to pm me if you ever need a chat xxx

 

[spiritbear]

Thank you so much for your reply! Yes, I totally agree on exercising!! I do what I can- I try to take him on hikes in the backpack, short runs in the jogging stroller etc. I wish we had a gym with childcare, that would be amazing!! I used to do yoga videos when he was in bed so thank you for the reminder, I think I'll start that up again!

 

[spiritbear]

Thank you for the great advice!! I do this occasionally but not enough. A great reminder!

 

[spiritbear]

Big hugs!

While I don't live in a rural area, I do live a bit away from things and don't drive so it's hard. I also have a family who make plenty of excuses so I rarely see them ubless it's someone's birthday or funeral (I'm not kidding) I work agency nightshift and hubby works 6 days a week 8-6 (sometimes 8) so it's very lonely some weeks. There's a toddler group from 9-11 once a week but that's it. Anything else is a half hour bus trip at least away which can be hard work with the pram and 2 children. Some days I see my husband for an hour before I go to bed/work and don't see him for 24 hours again for just an hour. Some days I walk round the local shop just to be in adult company as being with small children day and night is hard work. I love my children, I really do but it can be so lonely.

One thing I found good was pilates. I use YouTube videos when the kids are asleep and can do before bed. It had helped me sleep better, helped my mood and even helped me get my tummy down (bonus!) obviously hasn't helped make friends but sort of gave me a focus. I can't go to the gym as I don't have a baby sitter but it's a me time thats sort of the same. I can do it when I want for me.

remember the lovely ladies on here if you are ever lonely. we are all here. feel free to pm me if you ever need a chat xxx

Wow, that is a rough schedule! I knew I couldn't be the only one! I think my family and friends from afar think I just have it great- play with the baby all day, and should have nothing to complain about.

I am sorry that you don't see your family much, that must be frustrating

I love the Pilates video idea!! I am going to give it a try tomorrow night as soon as he is in bed! So hard to not spend every spare second cleaning up but I know that I'll feel better with some exercise before bed!

Thank you again for taking the time to reply ❤️ Best wishes to you!