Looks like I might be joining you in here

[orange-sox]

Well tonight I discussed the possibility that I might be pregnant with my OH (he is away and I didn't want to tell him that I am actually pregnant).

His response was

"We're not ready huni, don't worry we'll sort it. I know i dont understand about abortion, but it will be twice as worse if you dont do it in the situation we are in. I want our child to come into the world into a nice, happy environment"

Well I'm sorry, but I dont want our child to die. I am not killing my baby!

Fucking men

 

[Novbaby08]

thats the spirit! Don't ever let ANYONE convince you otherwise. Believe it or not a fetuses heart starts beating at 3 weeks. When I got pregnant my bf at the time figured i out, and insisted I would be stupid to let it live, and left me over it. Well fuck him! I'm now 36 weeks, and am single, but I'm happy. Because I chose to let my baby live. This baby will be with you for life, he might have ended your relationship anyways at one point. But don't let anyone tell you anything different about wanting to let your baby live. Theres nothing wrong with that. Its your baby, your body, your choice. And if he can't accept that, he can go fuck himself! Be strong, and good luck. Early pregnancy is an emotional roller coaster on its own.

 

[orange-sox]

Thanks sweetie!

 

[Arcanegirl]

Give him time, maybe he will come around

 

[Sambatiki]

Oh hunny

I hope that he sees sense and supports you! Good luck!!!

 

[Pyrrhic]

My OH and I were WTT when I got pregnant and we were in a bad spot financially. I mean, it was really the worst timing. I told him, and he asked if I would consider an abortion. I said I was having the baby, whether or not he wanted to be around and that if he didn't want to be a Dad I wouldn't make him and I could manage on my own. He was mortified at the thought of me leaving and raising our child on my own. It took him a couple of months but now he is such a doting Dad to be. He is so excited, talks to my Bump everyday, asks me everyday how she is and how we're feeling and runs around after me to make such I'm always happy. I couldn't ask for a better partner to have a baby with. The first few months when he took some time to come around though were hard and I felt very alone.

Hopefully your OH will come around and be the same way. It is a big shock if it's unexpected, and men don't always feel the same as us as it's not 'real' for them until later in the pregnancy. We feel pregnant everyday with symptoms and have a special bond with the child growing inside us. Men don't always feel the same until you're bigger and they can see the baby move and things.

 

[nikky0907]

If you're determined to what you'll do,then tell him that and explain to him how you're not afraid to do this without him.
Hopefully it's just a shock,he doesn't know that you're really pregnant after all.

 

[dreams]

It might be different when he knows for sure and you talk face to face.

Don't let anyone talk you into doing something you don't want to do, its you that will have to live with it afterwards.

I realised that i can be easily manupilated whilst i'm pregnant i take everything to heart and i'm emotional over everything. Stick to what you want, you'll only regret it if you don't.

Maybe after giving him some time he'll be happy about it

good luck x

 

[Carolyn]

when he knows it's definitely growing inside of you, instead of a maybe, he'll see things differently.

 

[sam's mum]

Just wanted to send you some Hope he comes around once he's had a bit of time to think about it.

x

 

[Tegans Mama]

Good on ya! If its what you want then go for it. Baby is growing inside you, and whilst your OH has some say, the final throw of the dice will always be yours

 

[ellasmummy]

Sending :huugs: Hope your OH comes round. When are you telling him you are pregnant? xx

 

[orange-sox]

Well I've told him...






















He wants me to have an abortion.

 

[sparkswillfly]

That sucks. Men really dont understand the severity of abortion at all. They dont understand at the process or that it is more than just a bunch of cells. My OH wanted me to have an abortion. The first 3 months were hell, we would argue all the time and he even dumped me on the way to our 12 week scan. He was such a C***! Everything changed when he saw our little girl for the first time at the 12 week scan. We are now happier than we have ever been and hes going to be such a great dad and has even found some baby music classes he want to take her to. Some men really do struggle with the prospect of babies its harder for them to relate because they dont carry it or give birth to it. I bet he will come round over time, maybe just give each other some space. If he doesnt come around its his loss and you'll get loads of support from other single mummies on here and you know that you will have done the right thing. Im pro choice but if theres even the slightest bit of doubt then theres no way anyone should go through an abortion. People dont realise how much of a life changing thing it is... especially men.

 

[Pyrrhic]

My OH wanted me to have an abortion. The first 3 months were hell, we would argue all the time and he even dumped me on the way to our 12 week scan. He was such a C***!

It is incredibly hard when someone you love so much is so blunt about something so important. I'm glad he's come around for you like my OH has for me.

I think until men see a scan, or see a bump, feel a kick, whatever, it's can just be an 'issue' for them. To them it's not real, and in the case of my OH he was stressing over financial worries and the fact he wasn't around to help and support me so felt it was the wrong time and the wrong decision.

With my OH I don't know what turned him around. I'm very glad though, as it's like Night and Day the difference. He is so excited and happy.

orange-sox, your OH may come around and he may not. The important thing is that you follow your heart and realise that you are a strong person who can do this. I would calmly (very difficult I know) sit him down and explain that you would be happy to raise this child on your own and that if he wants to be involved then he can. Hopefully the idea of losing not only you but his child will make him rethink.

 

[orange-sox]

He really doesnt care though, he thinks I can just sit here and go "yeah that's fine, I'll go to hospital and kill my baby and we'll all come home and be happily ever after"

This baby will have no chance with either of us as parents, maybe I should carry it and then have it put up for adoption. I think I'm dying inside right now.

I can't fucking do this anymore

 

[Always&4ever]

Hope he comes round honey

 

[jillypoop]

aww darlin,

wish i could give you a hug. Not even going to pretend to imagine how you feel. we are all here if you need to talk, pm me, can talk on msn or something. he might just be thinking logically, the way guys do, then when he hears the heartbeat everything might change and he'll feel truly awful for saying what he did.

men are pooey sometimes......

lots of hugs

 

[orange-sox]

doubt it.... we had a massive conversation about everything this evening, and andrews come to his decision...

He wants me to have an abortion and that's final... he thinks that at 5 weeks there is nothing there anyway, and that we'd be much happier without a baby. I've told him that we'll never be the same again after an abortion, and he says we will and that's it.

I've tried explaining that the baby will already have a heartbeat, and I've gone through the ins and outs of abortion and all he said was "don't read stuff like that (about babies development), it'll only make it worse"

I hate him

 

[hypnorm]

oh hun thats awful, do not let him force you in to something you are not happy about, you will hate him and your self.
There is never a right time for a baby, if he still thinks that way show him the scan at 12 weeks. Yo'll make a great mum dont put your self down.