Loss 21 weeks

[danser55]

Hi
I wanted to intro, this past week we said good bye to our little girl. She was diagnosed with triploidy. We decided to terminate, since the chance of survival was so low. I gave birth on Wednesday. I am so incredibly sad over our loss. We went through all sorts of fertility treatments too just to get pregnant too.

I feel so at a loss right now. I don't know what to do with myself my thoughts, feelings. or anything. I just want to wake up pregnant again. I have an email out to my RE about when we can start trying. I also have a regular appointment with my OB on Wednesday. Also H & I are a bit on the older side too, so we can't waste any time.

What were some of the things you found helpful for coping in the first few weeks after a loss? What about until waiting to try again. Any advice guidance is appreciated greatly.

 

[xxmyheartxx]

I am so sorry for your loss

 

[LoraLoo]

I'm so sorry hun. We have lost 3 babies- Eve at 5 days old to meningitis, alfie at 18 weeks pregnant and Eden at 15 weeks (17th aug) we are TTC straight away.
The biggest help I have found is talking to mums who have been through similar, being open about my feelings and keeping myself busy- having something to focus on whether its exercise, weight loss, an interest/ activity etc. xx

 

[danser55]

Thank you everyone. I'm sorry for your losses as well. I feel talking about it helps. I really don't think I will feel better until we are pregnant again or at least trying.

I'm trying to distract myself and my mind with things. It still seems pretty hard. I want to go on a vacation too in October. I'm trying to find something positive to focus on, but really I just want to sleep. I want to sleep and wake up to being pregnant. I know that can't happen now and I just want to fast forward time until then. Otherwise without too much to focus on in the near tear time is just going to drag.

 

[LoraLoo]

I think your feelings are abdolutely normsl. A holiday is s good idea I think- we are going away tomorrow. Quality family time plus making time go faster must only mean win win x

 

[Boozlebub]

I am so sorry for your loss x

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm so sorry for your loss

 

[george83]

I'm so so sorry for your loss x x

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so sorry this has happened, it is devastating

It's all new and i know for me it really didn't hit me till about 2 weeks... I wish you much love and peace..One day at a time XOXOXO

 

[LilFooshFoosh]

So sorry for your loss.

For me it helped to talk about what happened. The more times I told the story (to close friends and close relatives) the easier it got to accept what happened.

We also made a memory box, there's a few things we had bought for him, a onside DS had picked out, Love You Forever book, a card that we wrote to him saying goodbye, the crib card they made for us when he was born and a candle we light on his birthday.

We lit the candle every night for 2 weeks after he was born and played a special (to us) song, and I cried. I felt it was important to let my feelings out.

I'm very sorry for everyone who has lost, it is crushing and changes you forever. In the beginning, the hardest part is waking up and forgetting for just a second, then having it all flood back. That stops eventually but the pain doesn't go away.

 

[danser55]

Thank you so much. Wow you did so many special things for your son. I may have to steal some of those ideas.

 

[Shanslee]

I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you, and so sorry for your loss.

 

[LDC]

Hi there,

I lost my baby boy on 12th July at 21+5, we also decided to end the pregnancy due to severe hydrocephalus - you might have seen my post on here.

It's so hard; the decision, the process, the loss and the journey after that too.

Everything is just a day at a time with some days better than others. I don't know if you were put in touch with Arc but they're a fantastic charity. I use their forums daily to speak with people who have been through the Same thing and I have made some good friends through it.

We are also on the ttc journey now. It's difficult but I feel that I need something to focus on, it's just that the ttc journey has now completely changed in terms of how I look at ttc and the fear that comes through something happening again and the disappointment of getting a bfn.

Good luck and stay strong xx