My husband and I went for our 18 week checkup 2 weeks ago. We were so excited to hear our little bundles, strong heart beat again. We even brought our son in this day so he could join in our joy.
The Dr was playing around with the dobbler for about 10 mins, with a digruntled look on her face, and advised us, she wasnt able to hear any heart beat, but that would just mean the baby has his back faced to us.
My heart dropped & my husband lost all color to his face. We knew what this could mean. We jumped straight into the car and were off to the hospital for the emergency ultrasound the Dr was sending us for.
Because our son is under 12, I had to go into the ulrasound alone. I was watching our bundle on the black and white screen, and I knew something wasnt right at this point. The tech stood up, handed me a box of tissue, lowered the bed & advised me "honey, I wasnt able to find a heartbeat". Got up, and left the room. I was alone, starring at my baby who had passed. I was devistated.
Moments later, my husband was brought into the room, we were then shuffled into another room where a Dr had explained that because I was so far alone (18 weeks) I would have to have an operation, a D&E/C.. This was a Wed morning, and we were told the operation would be Friday morning & then just like that we were sent home.
I felt so confused, and numb. I had no idea that the life inside of me had left me. The Drs over the next few days confirmed that the loss had happened aprox. 2 weeks before this date, and I had shown no signs. I had no idea. The life I was so excited to bring into this world and love, was now gone, and I had no choice in the matter.
The next 2 days, we attempted to live life the best abbility we could for our son, until Friday came along.
Post-op was fun. Being asked a million times "so Nicole, how far along were you exactly"? How do you even answer that question? I was 18 weeks along, but the Drs were telling me the baby passed at around 15 weeks. I declined to answer the question after being asked 3 times. Then to ask me to read and sign a sheet of paper that included a question "any chance of pregnancy?" .. I couldnt handle this anymore.
The D&E/C went as well as expected, however the last 2 weeks have been really hard. Ive been experiencing complications. I have a blood clot forcing my cervix to stay open. Im on meds to see if it will help me pass it, but its like Im living this nightmare over and over again.
When will this pain get easier? Im told by those who know, that I should concider myself lucky that I was able to have a baby already. That I should "take this has a blessing". I secretly feel like the only people who deserve to feel this pain and greif, are the people who tell me that I should concider this a blessing.
Help..
-Mom of 1, lost our baby to be at 18 weeks, on September 12th, 2012
The Dr was playing around with the dobbler for about 10 mins, with a digruntled look on her face, and advised us, she wasnt able to hear any heart beat, but that would just mean the baby has his back faced to us.
My heart dropped & my husband lost all color to his face. We knew what this could mean. We jumped straight into the car and were off to the hospital for the emergency ultrasound the Dr was sending us for.
Because our son is under 12, I had to go into the ulrasound alone. I was watching our bundle on the black and white screen, and I knew something wasnt right at this point. The tech stood up, handed me a box of tissue, lowered the bed & advised me "honey, I wasnt able to find a heartbeat". Got up, and left the room. I was alone, starring at my baby who had passed. I was devistated.
Moments later, my husband was brought into the room, we were then shuffled into another room where a Dr had explained that because I was so far alone (18 weeks) I would have to have an operation, a D&E/C.. This was a Wed morning, and we were told the operation would be Friday morning & then just like that we were sent home.
I felt so confused, and numb. I had no idea that the life inside of me had left me. The Drs over the next few days confirmed that the loss had happened aprox. 2 weeks before this date, and I had shown no signs. I had no idea. The life I was so excited to bring into this world and love, was now gone, and I had no choice in the matter.
The next 2 days, we attempted to live life the best abbility we could for our son, until Friday came along.
Post-op was fun. Being asked a million times "so Nicole, how far along were you exactly"? How do you even answer that question? I was 18 weeks along, but the Drs were telling me the baby passed at around 15 weeks. I declined to answer the question after being asked 3 times. Then to ask me to read and sign a sheet of paper that included a question "any chance of pregnancy?" .. I couldnt handle this anymore.
The D&E/C went as well as expected, however the last 2 weeks have been really hard. Ive been experiencing complications. I have a blood clot forcing my cervix to stay open. Im on meds to see if it will help me pass it, but its like Im living this nightmare over and over again.
When will this pain get easier? Im told by those who know, that I should concider myself lucky that I was able to have a baby already. That I should "take this has a blessing". I secretly feel like the only people who deserve to feel this pain and greif, are the people who tell me that I should concider this a blessing.
Help..
-Mom of 1, lost our baby to be at 18 weeks, on September 12th, 2012
and although is doesnt seem like it will get better time is a great healer. ive suffered from a mc and at that moment in time it felt like no one else was on my wave length. and as for anyone sayin it was a blessin well thats certainly not a great nor helpful thing to say but some people really just dont know what to say so they say the first thing that comes out of thier mouth. 
The stories on this thread make me cry quite often. Alot of the time women blame themselves and get angry, we just want an answer to why this has happened. Your memories will allways be there but the pain will get easier in time. 
x
