Lousy today - Just miss being pregnant

[NatashaZ]

Hey all. I feel kind of lousy today. Not an emotional wreck or sad - just miss being pregnant. I even miss the nausea I especially miss how much I was sleeping... in bed from 10pm to 7am every night. I miss the instinctive touching of my belly. I am anxious to feel all that and more again someday. Just figured I'd vent

 

[jennievictora]

so sorry for your loss x

 

[Hanskiz]

I've been feeling pretty low today too. The bleeding has picked up again (when I thought it had finished) and I keep thinking I SHOULD be 13 weeks pregnant now.

The other thing that has been getting to me is that I'm terrified that I'll find it hard to conceive again. This is completely unfounded; both my pregnancies have been 'one hit wonders', but I'm convinced that because I want it so desperately I won't get pregnant for months. I know it's silly but I can't help it.

I really wanted to have my children close together and only waited as long as we did because I started a new job. The baby we've lost came at the perfect time and I'm frightened that if I don't get pregnant straight away I'll be crushed and end up with a huge gap between my children. I know in the wider scheme of things it doesn't matter WHEN I get pregnant or what the age gap with my DD is, but I'm obsessing over it now and I'm sure it's not healthy.

It's a rollercoaster of emotions at the moment and it's hard to cope with - we will get through it and we WILL get pregnant and have healthy happy children!!

Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Cornish]

I am sorry for your losses, I also keep thinking about my belly and how much I loved that pregnant feeling. I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks and feel I should be celebrating my recent scan instead of recovering from an ERPC. It is a miserable and lonely time as no one knew I was pregnant and I want to yell at people to tell them I'm greiving.
Hoping everyone recovers well and moves on to concieve when ready.x

 

[NatashaZ]

Hey Cornish, I'm in the same boat... didn't tell anyone in my family I was pregnant, so I have to act like nothing is wrong around them. My OH's mother knew, and two of my close friends knew, that's about it Mine was at 9 weeks. I had just had my first scan. It's a sad thing. I just miss my little secret. I loved how my body was changing, it was magical.

 

[Hanskiz]

Your story sounds the same as mine Cornish... I too had a mmc and found out at 12 week scan. When was your erpc? How are you doing?

 

[NatashaZ]

Hi Hanskiz, my first pregnancy was like that... We weren't even trying and BAM! it worked out so perfectly that I could pinpoint the exact day of conception (my cycles are crazy so I never thought that would be possible!). Now I worry that because I want it so bad and am monitoring myself so much that nothing will happen.

I wanted a September/October baby very badly because I have family coming in from overseas at the end of the year and I thought it would be so wonderful for them to see the baby since we all live so far away from each other, plus it'd be a blessing to have some help around the house!! Now, I know there is still a chance for a December baby, but if it doesn't happen by then, I'd like to avoid a Jan-Mar baby because of the brutal winters we get. I was born in January during a horrible blizzard and hate having snow every year on my birthday. It's silly and I'll take what I can get BUT if I can time it for either December or Spring time, that'd be nice.

Just hard to think about it in those terms when baby #1 was so unplanned and just perfect. I think if I meddle with #2 it will just be a disaster for me Bah.

 

[Cornish]

Thanks for your replies, its comforting to hear from people who have experiences of how Im feeling.
I had a scan early as dates were wrong so we got to see our little baby at 8+5 with a heart beat and wriggly feet, then the 12 week scan showed the baby had died at 9 weeks. No reasons given at all. Had my ERPC Thursday just gone and we are already thinking about trying again. Not to replace the baby we lost, we have given her a name and are grieving for her, but we do want a baby soon. We had been trying for over a year before we became pregnant. Do either of you know how long itll be before Im ovulating again? Does it take longer because my miscarriage was missed?

 

[Hanskiz]

It's so hard isn't it? I veer from feeling really positive about TTC and confident that I'll fall easily like I have before, to being convinced that my desire for it is so strong that I'll somehow jinx myself. It's ridiculous!
All we can do is TTC like mad and hope hope hope!!!

 

[Cornish]

Hope, hope and more hope I feel is the key! I have even booked myself into yoga classes in the 'hope' of reducing stress levels!
Im still feeling pretty miserable and in more pain than I thought, thank you for asking.x

 

[Hanskiz]

Cornish - I don't think it makes any difference that the miscarriage was missed. Basically once you have the erpc your hormone levels will drop right down (this takes a while and varies but I think the average is 2 weeks) and you can start ovulating again anytime after that.
I've heard of women who got pregnant within weeks of a miscarriage and some of women who took a while to get back to normal. It depends on your body.

 

[Cornish]

Natasha - how did you feel going back to work with no one knowing? I was dreading it so my boss is telling all while Im off sick.

 

[Cornish]

Thank you Hanskiz, I was worried that due to my body not realising anything was wrong, it would take ages to start ovulating again. I suppose I just have to wait and see how my body copes. Im still taking the pre natal vitamins and trying to eat lots of fruit! Have you been TTC long since your loss?

 

[Samantha675]

I am with you on that hun. I would have been 11 weeks today, so Mondays kinda suck for me now. I can't wait till I stop counting the weeks I would have been.

 

[vonz]

me too. i hope i'll stop counting. just had d&c on 21feb

 

[Hanskiz]

Cornish - I haven't even started trying yet. I had the erpc on 22nd Feb so I'm still waiting for the bleeding to stop. I'm hoping it will tail off this week and we can start DTD again this weekend but who knows!!


I think it's good to carry on taking the prenatals and eating healthily - it means you're looking after yourself and looking to the future.

I found the pregnancy test I did when I found out this morning in my dressing gown pocket, and you know I thought to myself: 'Oh well, it wasn't to be - they'll be more BFP's in the future'. I think I'm getting there!!!

all round.

 

[Cornish]

Samantha and Vonz - I know how you feel, Ive spent weeks looking at the day and week I was pregnant and how big the baby was and now I keep thinking what I should be, I should be 13 weeks, not miserable.
Hanskiz, did you get any advice on when to start trying? I had my erpc on 21.2, the bleeding has stopped but Im still getting quite a few sharp pains. Have read other posts of ladies conceiving only a few weeks after. Finding that test must have been hard, we spent last weekend tidying away all baby products from the house to the loft.

 

[iluvbump]

Hey all. I feel kind of lousy today. Not an emotional wreck or sad - just miss being pregnant. I even miss the nausea I especially miss how much I was sleeping... in bed from 10pm to 7am every night. I miss the instinctive touching of my belly. I am anxious to feel all that and more again someday. Just figured I'd vent

I had days like that hunny.
And i still miss it..
I miss my bf giving my bump a kiss before he went to work... i missed feeling sick.. i missed it all hunny.
Its normal to feel this way xxxxx

 

[addie25]

I'm so sorry. I know how u feel. I still have a little belly bc I was 14 weeks n now when I touch it, it feels emPty. I was trying on dresses bc I'm in a wedding in July n I was supposed to be 8 months pregnant. I was looking at all the dresses I would have worn n got upset. Now I'm goin to loose weight and get back my tight body n wear A tight dress. I just hope I'm starting ivf in may or June so I have a chance of being pregnant for July. I'll b so upset if I'm not pregnant by august since that is when I was supposed to have my baby.

 

[Hanskiz]

Hanskiz, did you get any advice on when to start trying? I had my erpc on 21.2, the bleeding has stopped but Im still getting quite a few sharp pains. Have read other posts of ladies conceiving only a few weeks after. Finding that test must have been hard, we spent last weekend tidying away all baby products from the house to the loft.[/QUOTE]

Well in the hospital they told me to wait two cycles. I already knew I wasn't going to so just nodded and smiled politely.

I went and saw my GP today and bumped into my midwife. She didn't know about the m/c but I told her I was planning on trying again right away and she seemed to think that was a grand plan and that she's be seeing me again soon. The GP also wasn't at all fazed by the idea of us TTC right away. She just told me to carry on with the folic acid and go for it. She said if my body is ready to be pregnant again then that's what will happen and if it's not it won't. She said not to worry if I fall right away and equally not to be too concerned if it takes a while.

So I think it's a totally personal decision. If you feel ready then go for it, if you don't then give it a while. There is no medical reason not to conceive straight away and if thats what happens there is no greater risk to your pregnancy. Just do the best by your body and keep you fingers crossed!!

Personally I will start TTC as soon as the bleeding stops completely. I'll be watching like a hawk for ovulation signs (I'm normally pretty good at picking up on them) and just DTD as much as possible!