LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[KatO79]

Was at my 8 week scan and

Spoiler

everything was looking good. Got to see the heartbeat and my RE was pleased with how everything's looking

 

[swimmyj1]

Ttcba - my Obgyn wouldn't do follicle monitoring only progesterone blood work to confirm. It wasn't until I saw a specalist did he talk about how unreliable blood progesterone levels can be. Depending on time of day drawn, if you had eaten or not can effect it. I didn't believe him until we did 2 lab draws 8 hours apart my AM said I ovulated at 28 but my pm was only 6.2. Scans showed I was getting a follicle on my own but it was very small giving me a short LP.

Sense you have spotting during your LP and a short LP progesterone could still be ur issue, which lucky is an easy fix. I had that problem and with a monitored cycle, clomid and progesterone I got pregnant. It stinks that the clinic is 2 hours away

Also IVF vs adoption is a big choice. Both have pros and cons. But I will warn you from family experience adoption isn't always set in stone. In the US depending on what state you live in there is different amounts of time a birth mom can change her mind about the adoption after deliever. In my state it's 3 months, my aunt and uncle lost 2 children in the adoption process, one mother backed out at 8 months and the other decided during the second month she wanted her child back. But I know some states they don't allow for a changing back once the baby is signed over.

Sorry lots of info here, I hope you won't have much longer to be ttc it can just be all consuming

 

[KatO79]

ttcba I think swimmy is right concerning adoption in that you do risk the birth mother changing her mind and wanting the baby back. I think that some of birth mothers also want open adoption, something else to take into account. From what I've read you'll also need to decide if you'd be willing to take a baby of a different race or a baby that has had a birth mother that either drunk heavily or used drugs during the pregnancy (with the risk the child will end up with serious issues later on). Plus if you'd be willing to take a child where there is a family history of mental illness. Also what is the max age you'd be willing to adopt, going only for a newborn will of course take longer since most want to adopt newborns. The less open you are to these possibilities, I've heard the longer it can take before you're matched with a baby.

As to IVF, the clinic I went to here in Denmark said that there's a 70% chance of ending up with a take home baby after 3 tries. So odds are pretty good with IVF which is why my DH and I decided to give it a shot before thinking about adoption. Although due to how the health care system is here, we do get 3 free IVF tries because infertility is considered a disease here, providing you're TTCing #1 of course so it was easier for us to give it a go since it isn't costing us much (other than up to the max amount of meds before the state starts helping you pay for those as well).

 

[Myshelsong]

OK I am only really probably saying this because the two people on here that are pregnant have decided to voice out against adoption, but honestly if a person decides to go down that route you go through a lot of training that ADVISES YOU OF THE RISKS INVOLVED!
Kat that fact that you are mentioning all the horrible things that could be really makes me want to yell at you. You have no idea what you are talking about, or what a person is willing to accept If they can't have a child of their own!!!!! Did you know that my husband and I are willing to accept a child with drug use, and mental illness in the birth parent side? No of course not, because you think the only thing anyone would want is a perfect child. Get out of this conversation!
Yes some people regret the decision to give up their child but NOT ALL THE TIME. Let this person who said they were just "thinking" about it some space on the issue.

Let me just finish my rant by saying, This is their personal journey, and telling them cons and the negative aspects of something they might feel passionate about is probably the worst thing you could do. This is coming from someone who has repeatedly said WE ARE TRYING TO ADOPT.

 

[KatO79]

I don't feel as I was voicing out against adoption by any means, I was just mentioning what I've read and heard about adoption and all the considerations there are. Plus I think swimmy and I were also trying to say that going the adoption route isn't necessarily a garantee of ending up with a child or that the child you get you will get to keep because it's been heard of that birth mothers change their minds nor di I say it happens all the time, just that it is a risk. I don't see how information is anti-adoption, I was myself even considering adoption if IVF didn't work for us. So don't tell me I'm anti-adoption because that's simply not the case.

I was also not judging anyone that's willing to take children from birth mothers that e.g. took drugs, merely stating that it's something to consider if you'd be willing to do or not. I'm in no way also saying anyone should go for a "perfect child", still just saying it's something to think about if someone personally can deal with such a child if it turns out they end up with e.g. severe issues.

I personally don't see the harm in letting someone considering something know pros and cons so they can make an informed decision. I doubt if anyone is truely passionate about adopting that they'd really change their minds just because they are informed about the pros and cons.

But as you wish, leaving the conversation now.

 

[Myshelsong]

Obviously what you said upset me for multiple reasons, mainly because are trying to adopt and going on about all the negative stigmas about adoption and the children in need touches a nerve.
Whether or not you wanted to offend anyone you did. Sorry for my blowup I think I need to take some serious time away from this group. Wish you all the best in your journeys and your pregnancies.

 

[swimmyj1]

Wow, I also agree I think I'm going to walk away from this thread the negativity is just too much. I was in no way saying adoption is a bad thing. I am finishing with the adoption process of my cousins 2 year old girl (both her parents are heroin addicts and used during pregnancy) and couldn't be happier that she is joining my family. My Aunt and uncle are in the proccess of their 3rd adoption attempt and are hopeful. Adoption can be amazing and wonderful. I was only saying that i went in blind to adoption not realizing that we would have to have multiple court hearings so see if the other grandparents wanted her or her mothers family.

Good luck to everyone on here I hope you all end up with your rainbow babies.

 

[DBZ34]

Wow....and then there was one.

My current job actually has opened my eyes to a lot of things, adoption being one of them. I think each of you has a valid point. I'm sorry that the way things were said has rubbed you the wrong way, myshel. I don't think they meant to offend, just offer things to consider. But, I understand that it did offend you because you are in the midst of this process and dealing with all the emotions that come with it.

I suppose it would be like someone being pregnant having another person come along and tell them all the terrible things that could happen to their baby during pregnancy. It would be awful to hear, even if that person had the best intentions (i.e. just warning you about what could go wrong so you can prepare yourself), especially if you're dealing with all the worries that come with pregnancy anyway. That's kind of what I figure happened above...

But, I also understand the need to step away and get a handle on all the emotions flying around here. I hope you all come back after a bit.

I'll still be here...

 

[wannabemummyb]

Changing the subject entirely...... It's Mother's Day here in the UK on Sunday! Boo hiss - I hate Mother's Day.

 

[Myshelsong]

The day that social media should be ignored by all LTTTCrs, Mother's Day.
Hope you can get through it hun. Hugs

DBZ - you are completely right I was rubbed the wrong way and felt very raw about it. I feel I over reacted with the harshness of my words and did not mean to come out guns blazing. I should have sat on it for a day and let the rage pass like I normally do. It is like sending an email to someone you just had an argument with, after a bad day at work.

 

[amanda1235]

Hey! Mind if I join you ladies?

My story;
We were TTC from December 2012 naturally for a year. Took vitamins, used opk's and everything. Then we took a year and a half off to plan our wedding. During that time though we weren't preventing anything. After getting married this past August, we went to a fertility clinic to get tested. My husband was born 2 months premature, and only has one testicle, so we knew that there could be SOME issue with him. Turns out he was diagnosed with azoospermia, which was quite a blow. I also had a polyp that had to be removed. We then went through our first round of IVF, they did a surgical sperm retrieval on DH, and found a few lonely swimmers. We got one 3 day embie that we transferred (bfn) and a 5 day blast that we froze, and then did a FET (also bfn). We decided to use a donor, and try 3 IUI's with the donor (all BFN), and now back to IVF. Absolutely devastating. Dr also found out I have lining issues. It gets thick enough, but not triple stripe (which is better). So I'm taking baby aspirin and viagra (lol) and if by egg collection there is no triple stripe they will do a freeze all and try another protocol to fix my lining. Still feel like I've got a long road ahead of me. Oh, and 2 of my best friends are pregnant, from their first month trying. I can't even stand to talk to them.
Just waiting for AF to start after stopping the PIO after our BFN on Friday.

 

[Myshelsong]

Hi Amanda, sorry that you are here but I hope that you are able to find comfort with those in the same boat.
We are all on a different path for different reasons, but all understand the heartbreak that infertility is. Hoping your stay here is not long!

Afm, 5th IUI did not work, another BFN, and af started yesterday. We are going on a list for IVF funding but going to do IUI at least one more time until we give up and just pay for IVF out of pocket. Hoping this time we get more than one follicle and hubs numbers go up! 2 weeks until IUI number 6 .... That has to be good luck right?

 

[amanda1235]

I've got my fx for you! I had my first IVF and FET covered under Medicare, but the government pulled the funding right before I found out my FET failed. That's why we tried to do at least 3 IUI's with the donor before going back to IVF, as IUI is still covered, only had to pay for the donor (and meds of course). Not we're paying for the IVF ($7500), and just found out the government is now going to cut the funding for all fertility drugs, so am sure my insurance will follow suit. Thankfully, my dr told me I can buy all my meds for the next 3 possible cycles, while they are still covered. It's the difference between $12000 and about $2400!! How long does it take to get on the list for IVF where you are?

 

[Myshelsong]

It is a year and a half wait at my clinic right now.
I think we are just going to try private and pay out of pocket. We saved up for it as it only just this year became funded anyways.

 

[amanda1235]

Wow! Where are you from Myshel?

 

[Myshelsong]

Sorry I thought I responded to this the other day!
I am in Ontario Canada. They only just started the IVF funding in Ontario, so there is so things that are still being worked through. It is great, however we didn't sign up in time with our clinic.
Anyways, starting Gonal f tonight, hoping for some good sized follicles this time around!

How are you doing?

 

[amanda1235]

Ahh, I'm in Quebec, they did the opposite here, just cut the program.
I Started spotting tonight, which makes me nervous as my clinic is closed over the weekend, so may not be able to start meds until CD 4, which seems late. I might call tomorrow and see if I can get in in the early afternoon.

 

[wannabemummyb]

Hi Amanda, sorry that you are here but I hope that you are able to find comfort with those in the same boat.
We are all on a different path for different reasons, but all understand the heartbreak that infertility is. Hoping your stay here is not long!

Afm, 5th IUI did not work, another BFN, and af started yesterday. We are going on a list for IVF funding but going to do IUI at least one more time until we give up and just pay for IVF out of pocket. Hoping this time we get more than one follicle and hubs numbers go up! 2 weeks until IUI number 6 .... That has to be good luck right?

Sorry that AF turned up Hun

Hi Amanda, welcome to the thread. Hopefully your next cycle works.

 

[amanda1235]

So AF started this morning. I called my clinic to make an appointment for today, but they said that actually Monday was better than today, even though it would be day 4. So have the weekend of no meds before starting to feel like an absolute mess again!

 

[Myshelsong]

Sorry Amanda hope you have a relaxing weekend before more meds. Have a few glasses of wine for me!