LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[amanda1235]

I can do that Myshel!

 

[Myshelsong]

How is everyone doing this cycle?
So far we have some fast growing follicles, so another IUI is just a few days away for us.

 

[amanda1235]

So I had my cyst drained this morning, which actually went really well, easier and quicker than last time. Got the go ahead to start stimming tonight, and started on the meds to improve lining quality this afternoon. hoping I get lots of good eggs and my lining improves, I really would rather this not be a freeze all cycle.

 

[mommyclausen]

hi everyone, i am new to this group. my name is destiny and i am 24 almost 25 years old. at the age of 14 i got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and they told me then they doubt i would ever have kids or even live very long. then a couple years later i got diagnosed with sle lupus which is a big issue on conceiving. i was put on 6 months of clomid in jan of 2013 after having 3 years of no luck of conceiving, then in july of 2013 i was rushed to the er cause my right ovary was the size of a basketball with a cyst about 3/4 the same size on the ovary. so they removed my right ovary and tube and told me i would never ever have kids due to severe endometriosis. well in oct of 2013 i finally got a miracle surprise bfp when they told me i literally told the dr he had the wrong pee cause no way was it me lol. well after my pregnancy my endo got even more worse my periods were like a living nightmare for me they were clockwork and never missed well we decided in aug of 2015 we would start ttc well my period was suppose to happen feb 25th instead i start a very light period with about 2 hours of cramping on the 24th which is not normal my period starts extremely heavy and lasts 7 days and my cramps are hell the whole time it only lasted one day with small spotting off and on for 2 days not normal all pregnancy tests are negative. due to start my period on the 22nd stressed and ready to give up on ttc all together. idk what to do or think

 

[BronteForever]

Hey everyone, I'm completely new to this community, so I'm still trying to figure everything out. I've stopped by here every once in awhile to check out answers to some of my questions, but I've had a bit of more bad luck news lately, so figured it was time to join and get some TTC buddies.

So a little about me... my husband and I have been married for 15 years. I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2009 when we were NTNP and after that we just weren't emotionally ready to try for kids. So we waiting quite awhile (around 3 years) before I went off birth control. That's been several years ago now and we are still TTC #1 with no luck. I recently found out IVF is likely my only option, since my HSG test showed my one remaining tube is closed likely from scar tissue from the surgery to repair my ruptured tube from the ectopic. So right now I'm researching everything I can on IVF and adoption.

Glad to be on this journey with you ladies and wish you all the best of luck!

 

[wannabemummyb]

Hi all - welcome to the newbies!

Sorry I've not around, been struggling a little. As you know AF took her sweet time to turn up after my mc in Nov. She finally turned up and I ov'd (or thought I had) around Valentine's Day.......got some awesome lines on some IC HPTs but the nada on the couple of frers I tried, so seems some awful evaps or faulty ICs!

AF still not turned up so looks like she may have gone AWOL.

Recently realised that I just feel like I'm crumbling - 6 years trying, 4 miscarriages, seeing friends and family having babies etc etc it is all too much, plus I'm 35 this year so getting older! Anyway, I've decided to give counselling/therapy a try. First session next Thursday - I am dreading and looking forward to it in equal measures! I am hoping it will help -I certainly have to try something

Hope you're all well?

 

[BronteForever]

Oh wannabemummyb I'm so sorry to hear about all of your losses. I'm also 35 and had an ectopic in 2009 but I took some time off after that because I wasn't ready. My husband and I both went to counseling and it really helped. Good luck to you and sending you some virtual hugs.

 

[wannabemummyb]

Oh wannabemummyb I'm so sorry to hear about all of your losses. I'm also 35 and had an ectopic in 2009 but I took some time off after that because I wasn't ready. My husband and I both went to counseling and it really helped. Good luck to you and sending you some virtual hugs.

Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss x

 

[Myshelsong]

Big hugs wannabe I feel your struggle and relate completely. I hope your session this Thursday goes well, I know having someone to talk with was very helpful for me during my darkest times.

Hello to the new members as well. The struggle to have your first child after years and years of infertility is real, and this is a great place to vent with those that are in that same position. We might have had different journeys, but we can all relate to the bitter pill that is being childless due to infertility. It is definitely a hard road seeing friends and family member, and sometimes those of us that struggled as well, fall pregnant while years pass for us.
I pray one day we will all be able to find our miracle child or children after such a long journey. Big hugs and baby dust to us all

 

[amanda1235]

So my friend just had a baby in December, and last night was my friends birthday. Every other person there besides my husband and I already has kids, and they literally spent the entire night talking about being parents. We just had to sit there and laugh along, pretending that we weren't hurting inside. It's totally not their fault, they don't know, but made it even harder when I had to pop up to the bathroom at one point to give myself all my injections. Sorry I had to vent.

Bronte I'm glad counselling helped! We've been considering going as well, but hard to find someone who can see us after work, as I'm taking so many days off for Dr's appointments, I'm running out of days to take.

 

[BronteForever]

Oh Amanda, sending you hugs. That had to be hard, especially to deal with for the entire night.

I'm possibly going the IVF route so if you have any advice, I'd love some. It seems like such an emotional process.

 

[mommyclausen]

Hi everyone i was due to start my period today but i start a very light bleeding on sunday really really light then it stopped last night and had brown spotting today have had a few symptoms hoping in the back of my mind i could be pregnant idk when i should test to see if it could be pregnancy whats yalls advice about it have loads of backaches very moody and emotional and very sick with headaches

 

[Myshelsong]

I say test!

I am on day 6 dpiui and feeling super bored. anyone have any suggestions on how to get through this last week

 

[Myshelsong]

I shouldn't have opened up social media today, I shed have left it alone.
First thing this morning I was bombarded with all my friends adorable kids eating chocolates. I have been crying since. Feeling so sorry for myself right now. Hubs is trying to cheer me up but I just want to sit alone in a dark room and let my misery crawl all over me.

 

[wannabemummyb]

I shouldn't have opened up social media today, I shed have left it alone.
First thing this morning I was bombarded with all my friends adorable kids eating chocolates. I have been crying since. Feeling so sorry for myself right now. Hubs is trying to cheer me up but I just want to sit alone in a dark room and let my misery crawl all over me.

Yep same here! Hun x

 

[amanda1235]

I totally understand! All the pics of kids finding Easter eggs. Just a big reminder that I've got no one to hide eggs for. hugs to everyone

 

[DBZ34]

I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one feeling this way...I mean I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it is nice to know there are ladies out there that are feeling my pain today. I can't handle all the kids and the easter baskets and the egg hunts....*sigh*

 

[Mdon]

Hi everyone, I hope you don't mind me joining you. I've been hanging out on the forums off and on for many cycles trying to take comfort in knowing I'm not the only one going through this and am getting ready for another attempt and just want to do it differently so am going to see if sharing helps.

I'll be 41 in June and started prepping for my 2nd fet today. I met my husband when I was 37 and we started trying right away, I have a hx of functional cysts, endometriosis and a family hx of infertility but somehow we really thought we had this, no problem! After 2 failed iui (re assured success �&#56841 we found out my husband was being transferred to Japan for work. I had my first ivf & bfp 11/14, and mc just short of 8 wks. We had agreed that we were only doing it once and moving on to adoption if it failed. while I trying to recover emotionally from the mc and realizing adopting while living abroad is next to impossible we found out there is a dr in our area with fairly high success rates and because medical tx is so much more affordable here we decided to try again. I had a much better stim the second time with 14 retrieved and 12 good quality blasts made it to day 5 (2 poor quality with the first stim). We did the fresh transfer in Nov and the first fet Jan, both failed. I've been really struggling emotionally with all these failed attempts and knowing we were ready to adopt but can't,I feel like we made all the wrong choices.

I promised myself I'd stay relaxed and positive or I wouldn't keep going. But after all the false hope of coming out of the second stim with more positive results than many 30 year olds, it's just been devastation after devastation. I feel like I've finally started to face the fact that we are the family we are meant to be and I'm about to start ripping open old wounds that I can't recover from. I have mixed emotions knowing we are likely facing 4 more failed transfers. It's not feeling so affordable at this point so that's stressful but I feel like all this lost hope and lowered expectations might keep the anxiety away.

I'm sorry to open with a rant! I hope we can all provide some relief to each other and will all get the miracle we wish for.

 

[BronteForever]

Mdon, I'm just sending you a virtual hug. I'm so sorry you have had to go through all this. I really hope this FET is a success for you!!! Good luck!!!

I'm getting ready to possibly start IVF and I'm also very open to adoption. It's a very tough choice between the two for me as well and one day I'm leaning towards one way and another day, I'm leaning towards the other. However, I don't think you made any wrong choices, you just did what you felt was best at the time. I've also heard adopting while abroad is next to impossible, so I'm not sure you would have had success that route either. Plus, I know it can take several IVF attempts before success.

It's really hard not to get mad at yourself. I'm mad frequently at myself for waiting so long to try after my ectopic pregnancy, since I feel like I ruined our best chance at success too. But I did what I felt was right at the time and have to accept that. Only thing to do is move forward.

Hang in there and glad you joined, because the support should definitely help.

 

[Myshelsong]

Hey ladies, hope you FET goes well Hun. Big Huns and fingers crossed.

Bronte, we are also starting IVF if this IUI isn't successful. Will find out on Wednesday, so shod be doing a IVF in May is what we were told.

Adopting is a big decision and it is awful that doing it abroad is impossible for you. It doesn't seem fair at all.

We have started the adoption process and have just been cleared and are adopt ready here in Ontario! Just need to finish our adoption book and then we can begin the search and hope for a baby. I know that is is strange to be doing both IVF and adoption potentially, however we have been on this road for five long hard years and we are more than ready to begin our family any way possible.
We are excited and upset and anxious and happy all in one. It is crazy.