LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[DBZ34]

Hello ladies, thought I would check in and see how you all are doing.
I am off this month from trying which is nice but horrible at the same time.
my brother came to visit so he was a nice distraction.

Stine: how are you doing? Any good news ...? TWW are the pits

I'm going to test Saturday. I'll be 15dpiui that day. My bb's are so sore and look bruised I guess is the best way to describe them. The nausea is non stop. The AF like cramps are gone and now it's a dull ache. I am hot all day and have had a runny nose for like a week now but it's not because I'm sick. I'm praying it's not just the progesterone all these symptoms. I'm going crazy mentally. This tww seems like it will never end. I really didn't want to symptom spot but these symptoms are not subtle. It's like they are screaming for me to pay attention. I go for a beta Monday if AF stays away. FX ...

Seriously, Stine, those symptoms are amazing. I can't believe that it would just be the progesterone making you feel that way. I've got EVERYTHING CROSSED!

 

[Myshelsong]

Yeah i agree, progesterone should not be giving you those symptoms. I had that with the Gonal-F, but by the 11th day all my symptoms were gone.

Fingers crossed for you.

 

[Stine]

Couldn't sleep. Had to test. BFN ... Guess I'll have to wait till Monday and have a beta done. I'm in shock and disbelief. I stared at that stick for ever just trying to see a faint line but nothing. Guess I'll keep praying till Monday.

 

[KatO79]

Couldn't sleep. Had to test. BFN ... Guess I'll have to wait till Monday and have a beta done. I'm in shock and disbelief. I stared at that stick for ever just trying to see a faint line but nothing. Guess I'll keep praying till Monday.

Awww Stine, don't give up yet! Until your beta, you're still in with a chance

 

[wannabemummyb]

Couldn't sleep. Had to test. BFN ... Guess I'll have to wait till Monday and have a beta done. I'm in shock and disbelief. I stared at that stick for ever just trying to see a faint line but nothing. Guess I'll keep praying till Monday.

Sorry for the bfn, they always sux but as Kat said, wait for the beta. I have everything crossed for you x

 

[Myshelsong]

Ugh, that is so disappointing. So sorry Hun, keep trying to stay positive. Fingers are crossed for you.

 

[DBZ34]

I'm with everyone else. Here's hoping your beta will bring you better news!

 

[KatO79]

So looks like it's bad news guys I have red blood at my cervix and am cramping so yet another failed IUI, AF will be full flow by early tomorrow morning. Will be calling the clinic tomorrow morning to start IUI #5 but honestly, I've mentally given up on IUI ever working for us and just wish we could start IVF Worst part is I'm starting to fear like it'll never happen for us and that my eggs are to blame I just felt like everything looked so good with 1 egg and the timing felt pretty good.

Sorry to be so negative, I'm just feeling extra crap since I'll be turning 36 and really feel like I'm racing against my biological clock

 

[wannabemummyb]

So looks like it's bad news guys I have red blood at my cervix and am cramping so yet another failed IUI, AF will be full flow by early tomorrow morning. Will be calling the clinic tomorrow morning to start IUI #5 but honestly, I've mentally given up on IUI ever working for us and just wish we could start IVF Worst part is I'm starting to fear like it'll never happen for us and that my eggs are to blame I just felt like everything looked so good with 1 egg and the timing felt pretty good.

Sorry to be so negative, I'm just feeling extra crap since I'll be turning 36 and really feel like I'm racing against my biological clock

I am sorry lovely

 

[Stine]

So looks like it's bad news guys I have red blood at my cervix and am cramping so yet another failed IUI, AF will be full flow by early tomorrow morning. Will be calling the clinic tomorrow morning to start IUI #5 but honestly, I've mentally given up on IUI ever working for us and just wish we could start IVF Worst part is I'm starting to fear like it'll never happen for us and that my eggs are to blame I just felt like everything looked so good with 1 egg and the timing felt pretty good.

Sorry to be so negative, I'm just feeling extra crap since I'll be turning 36 and really feel like I'm racing against my biological clock

I'm so sorry to hear. When do you start the IVF process? Hopefully never because this next IUI will work, just wondering.

 

[KatO79]

So looks like it's bad news guys I have red blood at my cervix and am cramping so yet another failed IUI, AF will be full flow by early tomorrow morning. Will be calling the clinic tomorrow morning to start IUI #5 but honestly, I've mentally given up on IUI ever working for us and just wish we could start IVF Worst part is I'm starting to fear like it'll never happen for us and that my eggs are to blame I just felt like everything looked so good with 1 egg and the timing felt pretty good.

Sorry to be so negative, I'm just feeling extra crap since I'll be turning 36 and really feel like I'm racing against my biological clock

I'm so sorry to hear. When do you start the IVF process? Hopefully never because this next IUI will work, just wondering.

Thanks Stine In Denmark you need to do 6 IUIs total at a clinic (since clinics have higher success rates), paid by the state. If your 3rd IUI fails, they refer you to a hospital for IVF since it's cheaper for the state (they pay for the 3 IVF tries). We were referred after the 3rd failed but there's a 3-6 month waiting period since the hospitals can only handle a certain amount of couples at a time (around 350). So even if we wanted to, we couldn't start IVF now at the hospital. If we opt to do it now at the clinic, we'd have to pay for it ourselves and forego our 3 free IVF tries which would stink.

 

[Stine]

So looks like it's bad news guys I have red blood at my cervix and am cramping so yet another failed IUI, AF will be full flow by early tomorrow morning. Will be calling the clinic tomorrow morning to start IUI #5 but honestly, I've mentally given up on IUI ever working for us and just wish we could start IVF Worst part is I'm starting to fear like it'll never happen for us and that my eggs are to blame I just felt like everything looked so good with 1 egg and the timing felt pretty good.

Sorry to be so negative, I'm just feeling extra crap since I'll be turning 36 and really feel like I'm racing against my biological clock

I'm so sorry to hear. When do you start the IVF process? Hopefully never because this next IUI will work, just wondering.

Thanks Stine In Denmark you need to do 6 IUIs total at a clinic (since clinics have higher success rates), paid by the state. If your 3rd IUI fails, they refer you to a hospital for IVF since it's cheaper for the state (they pay for the 3 IVF tries). We were referred after the 3rd failed but there's a 3-6 month waiting period since the hospitals can only handle a certain amount of couples at a time (around 350). So even if we wanted to, we couldn't start IVF now at the hospital. If we opt to do it now at the clinic, we'd have to pay for it ourselves and forego our 3 free IVF tries which would stink.

I'm sorry you have to wait so much longer. It's nice that they will pay for all of you're treatments. The price here is super expensive. What really gets to me is my insurance will cover abortion and sterilization but not fertility treatments. I'll just pray that this next time is your last so you won't have to go through all the waiting.

 

[KatO79]

So looks like it's bad news guys I have red blood at my cervix and am cramping so yet another failed IUI, AF will be full flow by early tomorrow morning. Will be calling the clinic tomorrow morning to start IUI #5 but honestly, I've mentally given up on IUI ever working for us and just wish we could start IVF Worst part is I'm starting to fear like it'll never happen for us and that my eggs are to blame I just felt like everything looked so good with 1 egg and the timing felt pretty good.

Sorry to be so negative, I'm just feeling extra crap since I'll be turning 36 and really feel like I'm racing against my biological clock

I'm so sorry to hear. When do you start the IVF process? Hopefully never because this next IUI will work, just wondering.

Thanks Stine In Denmark you need to do 6 IUIs total at a clinic (since clinics have higher success rates), paid by the state. If your 3rd IUI fails, they refer you to a hospital for IVF since it's cheaper for the state (they pay for the 3 IVF tries). We were referred after the 3rd failed but there's a 3-6 month waiting period since the hospitals can only handle a certain amount of couples at a time (around 350). So even if we wanted to, we couldn't start IVF now at the hospital. If we opt to do it now at the clinic, we'd have to pay for it ourselves and forego our 3 free IVF tries which would stink.

I'm sorry you have to wait so much longer. It's nice that they will pay for all of you're treatments. The price here is super expensive. What really gets to me is my insurance will cover abortion and sterilization but not fertility treatments. I'll just pray that this next time is your last so you won't have to go through all the waiting.

Luckily some of our waiting time will be filled out with these IUIs (which I think is part of the reason they do 6 IUIs instead of 3). We can hope we're lucky and an opening comes shortly after the 6th IUI. Otherwise we risk having to try naturally for 3 months if it ends up being a 6 month wait, all the while I'm getting older Well the state pays but taxes here are also way higher than they are in e.g. the US. DH pays about 45% in taxes before he sees his paycheck and then there's the taxes on food and other items which is about 25%. So in a way, we're paying The health system is pretty good here for that reason.

Yeah, the insurance is crazy, that makes no sense

Thanks, one can always hope but I've definitely lost a good deal of my optimism for IUI after this one failed. DH is much more optimistic but it's not his body everything happens to so probably easier for men to be optimistic than us women that go through all the injections, U/Ss and the actual IUI plus getting AF in the end if it's another fail If it wasn't for my age, I might have considered taking a break for a few months but we might have a forced break after #6 (if we get that far) so won't be doing that and will just keep on going.

 

[Stine]

Kat- I totally feel you on the age. I am only 2 years behind you and every month I say "I just need a break" but then I remember I'm not getting any younger nor are my eggs and since I am already having so many issues NOW waiting a few months won’t make it any easier. It's very frustrating!!

AFM- I don’t have any symptoms anymore other then the occasional dizzy spell and some nausea. Had my blood draw today, I'll find out the results tomorrow. DH keeps telling me to stay positive but after so many years of negatives it’s hard when I have NO symptoms to give me hope.

 

[Myshelsong]

Just want to wish you all the luck in the world Stine. I know where you are and I feel for you. fingers are crossed.

AFM thought I had a pap today, but turns out it is next week. Right on time for AF, so going to have to cancel that appointment again.
Hurt my back doing some gardening done, so did manage to book another appointment with my dr tomorrow to see if I can get some muscle relaxers. But I love my garden area, got some spring bulbs planter, and we have lots of flowers stating to sprout around the house.

 

[KatO79]

Kat- I totally feel you on the age. I am only 2 years behind you and every month I say "I just need a break" but then I remember I'm not getting any younger nor are my eggs and since I am already having so many issues NOW waiting a few months won’t make it any easier. It's very frustrating!!

AFM- I don’t have any symptoms anymore other then the occasional dizzy spell and some nausea. Had my blood draw today, I'll find out the results tomorrow. DH keeps telling me to stay positive but after so many years of negatives it’s hard when I have NO symptoms to give me hope.

No that's the thing. When you're already having issues you don't dare wait longer by taking a break. DH was asking at one point if he could apply to jobs in other parts of the country or maybe even some in other countries and I told him that the problem is we'd be forced to put TTC on hold and we wouldn't qualify for economical help for assisted conception in other countries. Moving even in this country, well I'm not sure how that works and I'm afraid we might be put on a new hospital waiting list if we move now to another city and would have to start all over again.

Short rant: I actually find it annoying that he's willing to move to another country because he needs a job but when I wanted to move because it was and is impossible for me to find a job here it wasn't convenient and he kept putting it off Rant over!

I wouldn't put too much store by symptoms. Another lady I talk to on this board is pregnant and she wasn't and still isn't really experiencing any symptoms and she's almost 3 months along. So not out until AF shows up

 

[Stine]

Blood test came back

I'm heartbroken. My coworker is trying to make me feel better by saying "maybe its just not the right time" and I couldn't help but say "thanks but I am so sick of hearing that and it not being the right time! How many more years is this going to last?" She got mad and walked away. I get she is trying to be comforting but that just isn't. No I have to face DH and tell him the bad news. He was so excited and we both felt it worked. I'll stop the progesterone tonight and just wait for AF to show. IUI #2 here I come...

 

[DBZ34]

Blood test came back

I'm heartbroken. My coworker is trying to make me feel better by saying "maybe its just not the right time" and I couldn't help but say "thanks but I am so sick of hearing that and it not being the right time! How many more years is this going to last?" She got mad and walked away. I get she is trying to be comforting but that just isn't. No I have to face DH and tell him the bad news. He was so excited and we both felt it worked. I'll stop the progesterone tonight and just wait for AF to show. IUI #2 here I come...

I'm so sorry Stine.

I hate this journey...it's so frickin hard sometimes. I'm sorry you have to go through the disappointment and heartbreak of a BFN. And I know how hard it is to tell your DH that it's a BFN when he's so excited about things.

But, we just have to keep going. If we stop, we definitely won't get that elusive BFP....I hope the next IUI is the one that works for you, especially now that you know what dosage of Femara you should be on from the beginning.

 

[KatO79]

Blood test came back

I'm heartbroken. My coworker is trying to make me feel better by saying "maybe its just not the right time" and I couldn't help but say "thanks but I am so sick of hearing that and it not being the right time! How many more years is this going to last?" She got mad and walked away. I get she is trying to be comforting but that just isn't. No I have to face DH and tell him the bad news. He was so excited and we both felt it worked. I'll stop the progesterone tonight and just wait for AF to show. IUI #2 here I come...

I'm so sorry Stine

People just don't get how to comfort us. That may be ok for someone who hasn't been trying that long but hearing that and being a LTTTCer doesn't help at all. I don't get it that people get so mad these days when you try and tell them that they're not being comforting.

If it helps my clinic told me that IUI #1 rarely results in a BFP and #2-3/4 are much more likely

AFM I'll be going into the clinic today for cyst control for the 5th time and see what they say now. I almost can't stand joking about this with them anymore. It was funny the first few times but is now getting ridiculous Wonder if they'll indeed keep my dose at 75 IU again or what. Worst thing is the container for used needles I have is filled so I need them to empty it or give me a new one

 

[KatO79]

When you thought it couldn't get worse... I have a HUGE cyst in one ovary so the IUI is cancelled Have a smaller one as well and if it had only been that one, they would've given the green light. So it'll be NTNP this month and you probably won't see me very much this month. They said to call next time AF showed up.

Maybe this is nature's way of telling me to give it up