Lupus Anticoagulant

[thingschange1]

Ok i know everyone will probably say i am stupid because of my age but yes i am 18 and wanting a baby and have done since i was about 13 but obviously i had more serious things to attend to first. First let me tell you my situation, im an 18 year old teaching assistant, who does one evening a week at college to get my degree in order to work to being a teacher, i live with my boyfriend (who is also employed but as a forklift driver ---so we are not just the average bum which everyone usually assumes teenagers to be). we are now concidering having a baby because i found out i have lupus anticoagulant - which decreases your change in givin birth succesfully, because your body attacks the child. So my dilema is do we wait and let our chances in having children decrease each year or do we start trying for children as it could be over 5 attempts/mis carriages before we have our own child due to my medical condition.

thank you

claire xx

 

[FemmeFatal]

No one can make this decision for you. No matter what age you are, or what situation you are in, there is always going to be someone who has some negative comment to make because they think they know better. Eighteen or eighty, there will always be someone.

If you feel that the two of you are stable (financially and otherwise) enough to bring a child into this world, then that is your choice to make. We are not here to judge you, rather to support you in whatever decision you feel is best, whether that be trying now, waiting, or not trying not protecting.

You've been placed into a tough situation. All I suggest is that you both sit down and seriously discuss the repercussions of each decision before making it. I wish you the best of luck. If you need anyone to talk to, send a pm my way. I just turned nineteen and I know much of the position you are in (of wanting a child that is). *hugs*

 

[lozzy21]

How long till you finish your corse?

Some one is going to have negative comments but if your sure you want children with your OH id say go for it, start ttc but id wait towards the end of your course, You dont want to have the devistaion of having a miscarage and miss loads of your course at the same time.

Good luck in what ever you choose.

 

[Freya]

Hiya, I understand your condition and it sounds like you and your oh are thinking sensibly about what is best for you both as a couple and also what is best for your health. Oddly I have 2 frends with different types of lupus and the one without kids yet was told the same as you. Not sure what meds you are prescribed, but my pal was told she would have to come off her meds before trying I think, so she has a lot of other issues you may not have?? Either way, I may be controversial here... but I think if you feel ready then go for it!!! I'm sure you'll have great advice from your consultant and hopefully a smooth pregnancy!! LOts of luck whatever you decide xx

 

[Amygdala]

Hi Claire

First off I'm so sorry to hear about your medical situation, that must be very hard for you. Then I have to say you sound very mature and have clearly thought about this a lot. No-one here will be able to tell you what to do. But if you want my 2 cents worth anyway, I would at least give it a few more months to decide. When do you qualify? Would it be worth waiting for that? If you really have as much trouble conceiving as you think you might, then you'll be putting yourself under a lot of stress. Maybe it'd be good to get your education out of the way first so you don't have that on top of everything else? Luckily for you you are still very young, so presumably have the best chances to have a healthy and happy baby you could have in your situation?
Have you spoken to your doctor about this? That'd be my first port of call. Then I'd also think about what support networks you have (will your parents support you, e.g. babysit?), how it would work out with work and financially and finally how secure you are in your relationship. I don't mean to sound harsh or insulting, so please don't take it personally, but a lot of relationships end when people get to their early 20s. I'm not saying yours will be the same at all, I'm just saying listen to your heart and see whether you're confident enough that you will stay with this man for a long time to bring a baby into the world.
I hope you get all the support in the world with this decision (whatever you decide in the end). You sound like you're going to make a wonderful mum one day and I wish you as quick and painless a way to becoming one as is possible.

 

[bunnyg82]

Hey hun, awww, it must be hard being faced with that, knowing how hard it may be to conceive I think only you know what's right. I agree with Lozzy that it's prob best to get to the end of ur uni, but other than that, if you feel ready I wouldn't let anyone tell you you are too young. We got engaged at 18 and married at 19, we were both very mature, but people thought we were too young and should have waited, but we're glad we didnt. People like to have their opinions on what is right or wrong, but I truly believe that if you do feel ready then that is up to you x