Made up my mind

[Jayden'sMummy]

I'm going to tell Ian that i will move in with him
I was thinking to myself last night, am i just going to keep letting my mum make my decisions for me? I am 17 years old and i have a gawjus little boy and i am still letting people rule my life, surely i can make my own decisions?
It won't be for a few months yet, will probably start looking properly after new year, once Christmas is out the way and has left me skint ha
I am so so excited .. he doesn't know i have made my mind up yet, going to tell him when he comes to mine on Saturday while Adam takes Jayden out for the day and me mum won't be in haha
The thing is i need a little big of advice.. do i have to tell Adam about Ian? you see i want to introduce Ian to Jayden which i haven't yet, he has only seen pictures but i don't want to cause a rift between Adam's family + Me and Jayden, it is already so awkward at the minute after our fight at the christening.

so happy (for once ha) xx

 

[LilFlower08]

Good for you, as long as your happy and you feel your doing the right thing by you and Jayden then what is better. Jayden will be happy because he will know you are subconsciously.

Good luck for the future with Ian. My advice on the Adam thing, tell him what he NEEDS to know and nothing more. don't let him in to your life any further than he NEEDS to be. he had his chance he fucked it up and you shouldn't be made to suffer for his inconvenience (sp?). And any way it's not about HIM or HIS FAMILY and it will never be, its about YOU and JAYDEN!! so just keep focusing on whos really important!!

xx

 

[sam's mum]

So happy for you!

I don't think you need to tell Adam about Ian (not at the moment anyway...I guess he'll need to know if you're moving ). It's not like you two are together so it's really got nothing to do with him, and like you say you don't want to cause any problems with his family x

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

Thanks girls!! woo i am really excited about it all, he rang me before but was in college !

glad you don't think i need to tell Adam about us, was just thinking well maybe i should because Jayden's his son too and i am involving Ian into the equation now lol but sod it x

 

[nikky0907]

I'm so glad you're feeling so happy and have made up your mind!

I don't know about when you should introduce Ian and Jayden as I'm not quite sure myself what to do on this...
But I don't think you really need to tell Adam about Ian yet.It's your life and it's not like he says everything to you.
You can wait with that until you and Ian are actually in the process of moving in together...

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

I'm so glad you're feeling so happy and have made up your mind!

I don't know about when you should introduce Ian and Jayden as I'm not quite sure myself what to do on this...
But I don't think you really need to tell Adam about Ian yet.It's your life and it's not like he says everything to you.
You can wait with that until you and Ian are actually in the process of moving in together...

Thanks Amy
For now i will just be seeing Ian when i haven't got Jayden which is like mainly Saturday 10am-6pm because he has him then and Tuesdays 6-8pm but there is no point in two hours really is there, but then again even on Saturday he can come down at like 2 and then go back at half 5 just incase Adam brings J back early or picks him up late, which is usually the case but i know it is a bit to soon for Ian to be getting involved in Jayden's life, incase it don't work out you know? xxx

 

[princess_bump]

sounds wonderful rach, so happy things are working out for you and your little man

 

[Sarah88]

thats great news hun, congrats!

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

oooh hes coming down tonight so MIGHT! tell him tonight instead of Saturday x

 

[Wobbles]

Ian new BF? Sorry I'm prob being dumb

If you plan to move in with him hun I think Daddy does have a right to know if hes in Jaydens life he doesn't have a right to say no or anything but Daddy should know just like if he got a GF and he introduces Jayden to her you should know (imo)

Also if this is definate I would introduce Jayden to this guy more - Its not just you & Jayden who need to be 'ok' with this but he needs to see you as a family and see this is right for him with no surprises. Does that make sense?

If your happy with yoru decision darl you go for it - Theres nothing better feeling to getting your own house & space & titivating (sp?) it up

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

Ian new BF? Sorry I'm prob being dumb

If you plan to move in with him hun I think Daddy does have a right to know if hes in Jaydens life he doesn't have a right to say no or anything but Daddy should know just like if he got a GF and he introduces Jayden to her you should know (imo)

Also if this is definate I would introduce Jayden to this guy more - Its not just you & Jayden who need to be 'ok' with this but he needs to see you as a family and see this is right for him with no surprises. Does that make sense?

If your happy with yoru decision darl you go for it - Theres nothing better feeling to getting your own house & space & titivating (sp?) it up

I will tell Adam, just not sure how if ya get me? he isn't the easiest person to talk to at the minute (well the last few months) so just figuring out how to tell him. He might be here on Saturday when Adams comes and picks Jayden up, do i tell him to go in another room while i speak to Adam or do i sort of say this is Ian blah blah... ? or do i tell him in the morning when he brings him home?

Ian will be meeting Jayden tonight so nervous but not sure why haha he doesn't mind me having a baby, he loves kids and can't wait to meet him either

xx

 

[dreams]

maybe you could tell him on his own and then ask if he would like to be introduced to ian but have a few words with ian first to see if this is what he wants too. i wish you all the luck

 

[Wobbles]

Do it when the time is right - thats important for you, Jayden & Adam hun. YOu haven't told Ian yet so one s tep at a time let it sink in for you then hopefully things with Adam in general appear better in a couple of weeks for you to talk.

Dreams suggestion is spot on - on his own and to say that if he wants to be introduced to Ian in his time that is ok. Its important for you all anyway hun x

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

i'm so wound up about Adam at the minute, i am not even going to speak to him need some space so when they pick him up on Saturday am just going to tell his mum not to bring Adam down anymore. i will tell him about Ian, but in my time. This is about me + my baby + Ian, maybe when we do actually start looking for a place of our own then i will tell him. what can he say? not like he can tell me i can't because he doesn't want Jayden living with him can he? x

 

[Wobbles]

I have probably missed the story on you guys hun but do you mind me asking why your going to stop his mum bring him to see Jayden - if I read that right

 

[brownhairedmom]

Rach did you put Adam on the birth certificate after? Because I think he can contest you bringing Jayden to live with Ian if he wants to stir up shit.

 

[ryder]

I dontknow how much he could contest the move, he would have to prove the Ian is unfit to care for a child.

Unless he has some really mean alterior motives, I can't see someone going through to put the effort into even trying that...

Good luck hun! If you want to move in with Ian you should definately get him and Jayden together. Because his relationship isn't just with you, its with both of you and the only way to find out if its going to work is to jump in and let things go.

It will be sad for sure if things didn't work out, but you will never know until you try

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

I have probably missed the story on you guys hun but do you mind me asking why your going to stop his mum bring him to see Jayden - if I read that right

not to stop him seeing Jayden, just from coming to my house to get him and bring him back. that way i am happy because i don't have to see him and he is still seeing Jayden x

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

Rach did you put Adam on the birth certificate after? Because I think he can contest you bringing Jayden to live with Ian if he wants to stir up shit.

Ye, he is on the birth certificate. if it came to that i just couldn't live with him, but wouldn't stop me getting my own place and him staying over lol x

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

I dontknow how much he could contest the move, he would have to prove the Ian is unfit to care for a child.

Unless he has some really mean alterior motives, I can't see someone going through to put the effort into even trying that...

Good luck hun! If you want to move in with Ian you should definately get him and Jayden together. Because his relationship isn't just with you, its with both of you and the only way to find out if its going to work is to jump in and let things go.

It will be sad for sure if things didn't work out, but you will never know until you try

thank you. Ian's coming down tonight so he will be meeting J tonight am so nervous about it lol x