Male NICU nurses?

[katy1310]

Tbh Hun I am not sure many would agree with you. I would say the best NICU we had was a male, he was by far the most fabulous nurse we met there. (some members here know who I am talking about would no doubt agree) I used to walk in and he'd be singing songs to the babies, making the neonatal journey less clinical as such an trying to re-create the norm. None of the female nurses did that. None

I did feel a little worried about the bfing but with practice and confidence I did express and bf in front of him. He's seen that kind of thing all his career, it's not even an issue??

I know who you mean He was lovely though, he was so so nice with Sophie, and I loved the way he sang to the babies. You're so right, he made the neonatal journey much less clinical - and he was so lovely and gentle with the babies, much nicer than some of the female nurses (I bet you know who I am thinking of right now...). I didn't express or BF in front of him, but I didn't start BF Sophie till she was nearly into special care, and he only looked after her in intensive care and the first couple of weeks in HDU. I don't think I'd have been comfortable with it - but I wasn't comfortable doing it in front of anyone!

 

[Crayz]

I actually liked the male nurses MUCH better than the females. My daughter had one male nurse in particular who was always cuddling with her when I would come in if she had a bad day (like when she had that horrible eye exam). He always kept me updated on how she was doing. I had to always ask the female nurses, and they would get really frustrated with me when I'd ask a lot of questions or get really upset over something. Plus they always tried to force feed her, which I hated. The male nurses were the only ones who could get her to eat without screaming.

That was just my experience. There were maybe 3 female nurses that I liked, but all the male nurses were just much more nurturing.

I actually caught my favorite nurse sniffing a baby's head while he fed him, and said, "Mmmmmmm, you smell nice." You know, because baby head is like, the BEST SMELL EVER. It sounds weird, but it was a sweet moment he shared with that baby, and he didn't think anyone saw it.

I do get the whole BF thing though. I felt bad for one of the mommy's in there. The one male nurse would always sit there and talk to her while she would BF and he had that pervy quality to him. That doesn't mean he was a perv, he just gave ME that vibe.

It's okay for you to feel that way. It's your child, and you do whatever you think is going to get her the best care. My experience was just better with the men.

 

[Crayz]

BTW Katy-your daughter is so GORGEOUS!!

 

[menb]

We only had one male nurse while in NICU and he did wonderfully with our twins. We even requested him a couple of times. I think the gender was less important/of an issue than the quality of care and concern. We had some pretty clinical female nurses and that's just the worst.

 

[ahcigar1]

When my LO was in the NICU she had 2 male nurses and the remainder were female. I much prefered the male ones over the females. Partly because they treated me as a mother so badly. Telling me that after over 24 hours that I still couldn't even touch my daughter, and after I finally was able to hold her for the first time she fell asleep in my arms and they pushed for me to leave so she could get good rest. While the males were much more understanding towards me. When she had one of the male nurses they allowed me to sit and enjoy her some more rather than rushing me away and making me feel uncomfortable. And as far as the care towards LO I noticed pretty even amount between the male and female nurses. I didn't notice any one doing more than another or less than another.

To me the sex of the nurse doesn't matter. What does matter is their general attitude about things and how they take care of situations.

 

[New2Bumps]

The nurse that took care of Ethan on neo-natal was a guy and he was amazing with him. I wonder if I'd have felt more threatened with a 'surrogate mom' kind of female nurse figure. This guy was brilliant and so so caring and in touch with the babies but I never felt like he was trying to take my place and I often wonder if I'd have been jealous of a female nurse getting more cuddles than me at first.
With the bfing I'd feel uncomfy with a guy around and I'd just have asked for privacy! As it was waiting until bfing was established for us would have meant a much extended stay and I wanted him home x

 

[katy1310]

BTW Katy-your daughter is so GORGEOUS!!

aww thank you so much

xx

 

[dizz]

The nurse that took care of Ethan on neo-natal was a guy and he was amazing with him. I wonder if I'd have felt more threatened with a 'surrogate mom' kind of female nurse figure. This guy was brilliant and so so caring and in touch with the babies but I never felt like he was trying to take my place and I often wonder if I'd have been jealous of a female nurse getting more cuddles than me at first.
With the bfing I'd feel uncomfy with a guy around and I'd just have asked for privacy! As it was waiting until bfing was established for us would have meant a much extended stay and I wanted him home x

The ONE staff member that actually respected my privacy when chained to the breastpump in the hospital and didn't rampage through the curtain (leaving the damned things open so I had to stop pumping and go and get up and close them again...which was SERIOUSLY driving me insane by the middle of week 2) was a (gorgeous - gawd he was edible!) male doctor who heard the pump going and came back later. Everyone else - from the cleaners to the hospital rats just rampaged in regardless (and saying "knock knock" as you yank the curtains back doesn't help!).

Mental note to add to hospital bag for this time - bulldog clips to clip the damned thing shut!

 

[Sam182]

The most competent NICU nurse was a male at our hospital. I don't think you should descriminate against someone because of their gender. Think about how he might feel.

 

[WantsALittle1]

The most competent NICU nurse was a male at our hospital. I don't think you should descriminate against someone because of their gender. Think about how he might feel.

It's not discrimination. It's a personal comfort level thing, and I was just wondering if other women felt the same discomfort. I asked not to be judged or blasted in the original post.

 

[Poorah]

In our unit there were only two male nurses. One of them regularly looked after M and he was brilliant. He had a soft spot for her, would let us know of her antics on a night shift, was always very respectful when I was bf'ing on the ward (not that I was remotely bothered) and would chat away to us. He had his own kids and was just a nice guy, I was more than happy for him to look after M. Sadly not all of the female nurses were as compassionate towards or M or my husband and I.

The one thing that did make me snigger was that the male nurses were always referred to as doctors by visitors/newbies. Just shows you years or feminism/equality later we're fine with a male doctor, but are suspicious of a male nurse.

 

[Liesje]

I would guess people are more uncomfortable with their first child being cared for by a male than any subsequent children... I don't quite know how to explain it but once you've changed enough babies, you start to forget they even have genitalia. I doubt anyone male or female is going to pay much attention to it while they're changing the diapers. At first I was a little weirded out by what I saw (because I hadnt changed diapers before) but now I just get in there, clean everythig up, check for diaper rash and apply cream if necessary and I'm totally detached from what I'm even looking at. I'm sure it's the same for caretakers of any kind.

 

[Lottie86]

I really couldn't give a damn, we had a couple of male nurses at our hospital and they were fab. I care only about the quality of care a nrse gives and not what they have in their trousers

 

[chelseav1213]

Ive not seen one male nurse at our NICU but ive loved every female nurse hes had

 

[toothfairyx]

I would be on total agreement here with Lottie and Sam here.

 

[melissa84]

I guess it depends on the personality of the nurse. Luckily we had a really nice male nurse. I felt really comfortable when he showed me how to change her diaper, and even breastfeed, because I was totally clueless. One of the male doctors on the other hand was curt and patronizing and I didn't want to be around him at all.