Man Vent - Grrrrrrrrrr - Or is it just me?

[Miss_C]

So I say to hubby tonight I could test tomorrow maybe if temps are still up or should we wait and do it Friday and hopefully celebrate rather than have a grieving day all over with everything and he said when are you due on and I said Sunday so he said do it Monday - I am housesitting next week for a friend and hubby is staying home - I said but you won't be there for me to test with and he said doesn't matter anyway not until we reach the 12 weeks and I said well that theory went to crap last time didn't it and then he said yeah well even then it's more about the morph scan when it's all real and everything is OK isn't it so until we know all is OK so nothing to worry about until then.

what?

I sort of lost it and said so you are going to be a great suppot if and when we do get pregnant and I am going to be sh!tting myself every day in case we miscarry again. He said well there's nothing you can do so don't stress won't help your anxiety.

I am so very p'd o right now, that like saying to someone who just miscarried ah well it just wasn't meant to be! Am I over reacting is this my anxiety talking or hormones etc?

 

[mememe123]

He is a man and he does not get it. Men and Women guaranteed have different brains and work completely diffeerntly!!!!

More than likely this is his way of dealing. He does not want to be happy about a new pregnancy until he knows it will be ok. Anti broken heart syndrome!!!
-- my hubby is like this.

Although it is hard but you shoudl talk to him about this... I went over the edge with hormones the other day .. and really i just had to talk to my husband. Which I usually never do.. i am a bottler!!!

Hope this helps.

 

[hollyw79]

I agree with mememe.. it's unfortunately his way of coping I know my DH has gotten short with me a couple of times but I took it VERY personally. I am the one that went through the physical loss too.. and NO ONE can understand better than the person that it happened to honestly. Plus, I am sure he just wants you to be happy and he knows he can't fix that situation.. and men like to fix things!! It will be okay hun I hope you get that BFP soon!

 

[MsJMouse]

I agree with Holly and mememe. It sounds like his way of coping. Good luck with your testing whenever you do decide to test.

 

[Dew]

I too agree with comments above...
I knew my husband was very happy and excited about my pregnancy but I truly understood depth of his feelings when his tears fell on my cheeks as I lay on the bed in U/S room after being told by the technician that she couldn't see a heartbeat at 11wks, he was standing by my side and we both just couldn't stop crying for next 2-3 days (baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks, we had seen the heartbeat at 6wk+2d and 7wk+4d).
Now I am more than convinced that TTC is as important for him as it is to me and feel so scared for both of us for our next pregnancy. We have decided not to tell anyone until at least heartbeat is confirmed at 9-10 weeks or may be wait even longer to tell...only time will tell.
Your husband is right when he says things are not in our hand and worrying is definitely not going to help (although it is but natural for both to worry). We have to be strong for ourselves as well as for our hubbies and thus make them feel better about things in next pregnancy...the truth is that if he loves you, he will he heart-broken to see you sad and worried...
Cheer up and good luck with your BFP!!

 

[Lolalala]

Men are not emotionally smart. They're a bit thick actually. Mine asked me what was up with me this morning and started grumbling under his breath because I didn't answer him. I didn't answer him because I've just had a miscarriage and it's not like I was the only one in tears in the doctor's office. So the way I see it I'm doing my bit for charity at the moment by not punching him in the face.
In short, it may be my hormones, or just the fact that losing my first child has been so painful and at times isolating, but I think there are a few women on here who understand exactly what you mean. You're not alone sweetheart. xx