March 2013 babies - we all have our beautiful babies :)

[Kte]

Sethsmummy Hope it stays down now Must have been awful

 

[rose.]

Seths mummy how awful!! I am glad Seth is home now. My brother hallucinated due to temp when he was little and my mum Said it was the most terrifying thing ever! He thought she was trying to kidnap him.

Thanks for the ideas and opinions girls. I did try to talk to him about it in bed last night but he just kept saying 'go to sleep.' He hates talking about his feelings. He said that all Alfie ever does when he holds him is cry. He must think this is because he doesn't recognise him as my mum is here more than him (which she isn't!) but actually it's because it's the evening and Alfie cries practically all evening as he is tired and wants to cluster feed. I think it doesn't help that at the beginning OH was the only one who could calm Alfie as if he was on me all he wanted was milk, but now he is getting used to feeding he sees me as a comfort. He has also been really grumpy for the last week since his jabs and a lot more clingy to me than normal. I guess OH expects him to be able to comfort Alfie effortlessly but now it's not working he thinks there is a problem. Which there isn't - it's just Alfie becoming more aware of himself and us and being in a grumpy stage.

I think what I am going to do is make a real effort to be home before OH if I go out, and mention to mum that OH is feeling a bit left out and get her not to come if he's going to be home early, or get her to go before he gets back. He already helps with bathtime - he gets Alfie undressed and holds him in the bath - and Alfie loves bathtime. Other than that there isn't much he can do as Alfie just wants boob all evening and is fed up until he falls asleep!

We are away this weekend just the 3 of us, couldn't have come at a better time. I just wish OH would discuss his feelings!! I laid awake all night last night thinking what if he doesn't love Alfie anymore what if he stops liking him. I even asked him if he still loved him and he said 'yes! Go to sleep!' In an angry voice. I understand it must be horrid for him going to work and missing out on so much but he has to provide for us and what he doesn't see is all Alfie's tantrums during the day, and he doesn't know how hard it is breastfeeding and looking after a baby in general 24-7 - it's not all cuddles and play!

 

[sportysgirl]

Seths Mummy, what a horrible experience, I hope Seth is feeling better today.

Rose, I don't think the men realise how hard it is and like you say its not all laughs and playtime. The trouble is they go to work and come back right at the time when babies are fussy and unfortunately thats all they can see sometimes.

If you want your mums help have it, its good for you and Alfie and the company is nice too.

We live away from our family so with OH away its hard work. My dad is coming on Friday for a few days and I cant wait!

 

[AmyB1978]

Rose, Emily is the same way in the evenings when DH gets home, it used to be right when he got home but now she plays a bit, gets a bath, and then cluster feeds until sleep. My DH doesn't get much time with her but he doesn't come up during playtime typically and then he can't exactly cluster feed her

 

[rose.]

Your both right! Sportysgirl, bet you are really missing your OH. Mine might have to work away in a few weeks and I am dreading it. It could make this insecurity he seems to have worse.

I wish Alfie would take a bottle! Then at least DH could do one in the evening and Alfie might start to see him as a comfort! Then again maybe not... A bottle isn't as comforting as a boob!!

 

[Kte]

Rose: Hugs: My OH isn't a talk either, drives me insane so I know how you feel.

If they can, all babies want is Mummy. It's just natural, it's going to be coming up to the separation anxiety stage and when ever you are in the room your baby will just want you and only you. It's not that they don't love their Daddies, it just Dads have to wait a little longer to fully see / hear this. Sophie even did it to Nij yesterday, I put CHloe to bed and during that time Sophie started to cry so OH got to feed her, she was fine until I came down and as soon as she heard me again she started to fuss for OH - he had done nothing wrong, she just then wanted me. He even said "oh, she is getting like Chloe did, Daddy isn't good enough". I know it upsets him but at the same time I know that in the grand scheme it won't last long, soon they will be able to play and interact more and have daddy-daughter time. I'm still a bit needed with Chloe but not as much and now all Chloe wants is for Daddy to pick her up etc. We get the hard graft and they get the fun! Well we still get a bit of fun but you know what I mean, we have the crankyness or the upsetness to deal with too.

Do you have any books on babies development? Maybe it could help OH see it's not personal?

 

[rose.]

Thanks kte that's reassuring to know! I do have books but DH hates reading!! I bought him a dad book when I was pregnant and he never even opened it! That is a good idea though.

 

[rose.]

Alfie was much better for hubby when he got home today, they had a nice cuddle and play, and Alfie is now asleep on me hubby seems much happier! Phew!!

 

[kraftykoala]

Ella is unbelievably grumpy in the evenings so thats all DH gets too, thankfully after the other two he knows its just a phase.

Got weighed today and after following the curve between the 25th and 50th centile perfectly shes now fallen to between the 10th and 25th in the last fortnight. She has started going 8-9 hours at night between feeds and while I really dont want to wake her to eat I'm worried shes bot eating enough. You'd think on number 3 I'd be more confident!

 

[AmyB1978]

Kraftyk, were they concerned about the drop in percentiles? Maybe you can add a feeding during the day instead of waking her at night?

 

[rose.]

Krafty, I would definitely try to up her milk or add a feed either before she goes to bed or after she wakes up! It would be a shame to break that lovely long stretch of sleep. Hopefully her weight will increase up to where it was by next time you get her weighed! Maybe she is just due a growth spurt - they say babies grow in fits and starts.

Not sure if anyone needs a sleeping bag but achica are selling grobag a at almost half price! I just ordered one for summer (1 tog) after the success of the 2.5 I bought. The offer is only on until tomorrow morning 6am I think, so be quick if you need one! they've got lots of different ones

 

[JenJen80]

Hi all just a quick question have all your babies had the 8 week injections?. Martha is nearly 9 weeks and we haven't had the appointment through yet.

 

[rose.]

Yep! I had to phone the drs and ask to book it

 

[AmyB1978]

Emily had her's, right at 8 weeks, and the next set here in the US is 4 months, she gets those Friday as she turns 4 months on Thursday.

 

[Kte]

I was asked to book Sophie in for her 8 week jabs at her 6 week health check. Just call up your Dr's. Sophie will be 9 weeks old when she gets hers as we are away next week so don't worry too much, just give your GP a call

 

[sportysgirl]

I booked Poppy's injections when I had my 6 week check, but I also had a letter through from the NHS.

 

[MrsChezek]

Hi ladies! Just popping in as I seem to only have seconds these days. I usually post when I feed but have been dealing with a very cranky child all day yesterday and plugged ducts all night

The trip went super well - she was unbelievably good!!! (thanks AmyB and anyone else i missed for asking!) She slept the whole drive to airport and flight there. Barely peeped through security and boarding! She was much better than she ever is at home the whole time we were in Texas! She took two 2-3 hour naps each day wherever we were and slept on the go in the evenings though we missed her evening routine every night! She slept for 2/3 of the flight home and the rest of the time chilled on my lap - which rarely happens! But ever since we left the airport, she was a nightmare for 24 hours!!!! Yesterday was awful - she pretty much cried all day, didn't nap and drove me to tears (literally). But she slept well last night and so did I so I'm hoping today will be better. I guess she had to decompress? More details on my journal and I'll try to post pictures there today. Missed reading this thread all weekend!! Hope to catch up today

 

[skeet9924]

Ms chez- it's pretty normal for babies to be off when they get home.. They tend to sleep well when away because its all so new and over stimulating. I took Carson for a day to my work.. He napped the whole day then was a terror for 2 days after!! Hope she gets back on schedule soon!!

Jenjen- Carson goes for his on Friday he will be 10 weeks.. I had to call and book it but I couldn't get in last week.. He's been a week or 2 late for each appt now

 

[kraftykoala]

The problem with adding another feed in is I'm struggling to get her to eat the ones she has! I make up 30oz for the day but she rarely gets through it. For those FF, how much are your bubs taking, and how often?

 

[rose.]

Ah I see! Well I'm sure she will adjust it herself if she is missing out!