March 3rd 2012

[Cheska]

I have read your story in other people's posts. I know you dont know me but just wanted to find you today to let you know I'm thinking of you. Hope it's as gentle as possible.

Happy 1st birthday Ava hope you get lots of angel cake and floaty kisses from your mummy and everyone who knows you xxxx

 

[babylou]

Thinking of you today - sending lots of love and hugs

Take care

xxx

 

[JASMAK]

Sending lots of love to you today

 

[Ozzieshunni]

You know I don't often come here, but I wanted to send you some extra special hugs and love on this day.

 

[Kelly9]

Lots of hugs and thoughts of you and Ava today.

 

[zanDark]

lots of love to you sweetie

 

[oldmamamia]

you and ava have been in my thoughts today, hope youve managed to get through this very sad day with the love and support of your family x sending love and prayers across the pond xx

 

[Andypanda6570]

You all have NO idea how much this means to me, thank you so much for your kindness and love.. XOOXOX
You all help me so much xoxoxo

 

[SabrinaKat]

I've already posted elsewhere and privately, but am thinking of you today....

with great love,

Pamela aka SabrinaKat

 

[Andypanda6570]

From the bottom of my heart , thank you for your posts to me , I was overwhelmed by them. How can so many care about me and my Ava you don't have any idea what that means to me Thank you... Amazing is the only word for you all.

I went yesterday, I was going to go alone, but Nick ( my husband) got really upset and said that wasn't fair to him, he was right SO we both went.
I bought some balloons and my letter to Ava and I just cried, it took me so long to get my words out for her. My husband had to go to the bathroom (lol) so he left and went into the office and that is when I poured myself out to Ava. I know she hears me, i told how lost I am without her I told her how lost I feel sometimes in my life, how when I feel happiness I always have a tug in my heart and the sadness comes back to me. I told her to please watch over her brothers and her mommy and daddy. I told her how I don't think I can get pregnant again, I am so scared and with my age 41 I can't face another loss. I told her how loosing her has changed the person I once was, I told her how I would have been the best mommy to her and how when she was a mommy herself i would have not only been her mom, but her best friend too. I had so many dreams for this beautiful life growing inside of me. She was such a surprise to us, never thought I would have such a gift at 40, I told her the day I lost her, I lost myself and now I can't seem to get the old me back. I try so hard but the old me is just gone and there are times I just look at other little babies and wish so much that was Ava and I.. I will as we all will carry this pain till the day I die. I just pray one day I can actually be happy again, I know now I can never let Ava go I just can't seem to get over her, I dream of her and I can't bring myself to truly be happy. I am so proud of my boys , they went to see her without me even knowing. Maybe one day the old me will come back, but with a hole in my heart that doesn't seem to mend. I miss this child so much, I just want my baby back Thank you XOOXOO

 

[blueskai]

Oh Andy you and Ava were on my mind yesterday, felt like crying. I hate how this pain is never ending, and that every year we'll be faced with it.
I'm so glad you poured out your heart to her.
Sending you lots of hugs and kisses

xo

 

[DueSeptember]

Awww I was off yesterday.....Sending you LOTS of

 

[dancareoi]

Andrea,

How do you feel now the anniversay has passed?

 

[Andypanda6570]

Andrea,

How do you feel now the anniversay has passed?

I feel SO much better, Lisa. It was such a hard day, I just can't figure out where a year went I decided this month I am going to try, don't know why , but I am giving it one more go. I love you Lisa and everyone thanks for even caring about my precious Ava. You ladies are amazing and I hope you all know that..XOOXO You all have touched my heart so much

 

[mhazzab]

Andrea,

How do you feel now the anniversay has passed?

I feel SO much better, Lisa. It was such a hard day, I just can't figure out where a year went I decided this month I am going to try, don't know why , but I am giving it one more go. I love you Lisa and everyone thanks for even caring about my precious Ava. You ladies are amazing and I hope you all know that..XOOXO You all have touched my heart so much

Andrea I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear this xxxxxxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

Andrea,

How do you feel now the anniversay has passed?

I feel SO much better, Lisa. It was such a hard day, I just can't figure out where a year went I decided this month I am going to try, don't know why , but I am giving it one more go. I love you Lisa and everyone thanks for even caring about my precious Ava. You ladies are amazing and I hope you all know that..XOOXO You all have touched my heart so much

Andrea I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear this xxxxxxx

XOOXOX Love you...

 

[kaths101]

Still thinking of you and little Ava, The balloons and your letter to her sounded lovely

 

[Andypanda6570]

Still thinking of you and little Ava, The balloons and your letter to her sounded lovely

XOoooXO Thank you SO very much, it means a lot ot know I have people who care ...

 

[jojo23]

awe andy im so happy to hear your gonna give it another shot!! your such an amazing woman and mum you deserve your rainbow hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[dancareoi]

Andrea,

How do you feel now the anniversay has passed?

I feel SO much better, Lisa. It was such a hard day, I just can't figure out where a year went I decided this month I am going to try, don't know why , but I am giving it one more go. I love you Lisa and everyone thanks for even caring about my precious Ava. You ladies are amazing and I hope you all know that..XOOXO You all have touched my heart so much

Hi Andrea, so pleased to hear you are feeling better. I know it will never heal completely.

I am also really pleased you are going to try again, that will give you some hope and something to look forward to instead of looking back.

Even though I am not on here so much these days, I am always thinking about you and hoping with all my heart you get the precious little rainbow you so deserve.

Still hoping i can be your TTC buddy!!!