Marital Status - has it affected the way people treat you?

[Neecee]

I was just wondering who's married and who's not (that's the nosey bit!) and has it affected the way people have treated you whilst being pregnant?

I had to take off my rings for a while a few weeks ago because my fingers were really swollen and I found that even just going out shopping people would look at my left hand whilst pushing the trolley! When there was no ring there, they'd then look me up and down with a disapproving glare!

I also found that I was less regarded on public transport too whilst I couldn't wear my rings, yet once they were back on, the dirty looks stopped and the seat was offered to me a few times.

My SIL said she was treated better in hospital when she had her first child once she put her wedding rings on - especially as she looks younger than she is.

Just wondering if marital status affects anyone else?

 

[mrscookie]

hey honey!
Well, it has kinda worked the same for me. I used to serve customers at work, start sorting out a contract phone for them and they would ask how far gone I was, so i'd tell them, and then they would almost ALWAYS say '' is your boyfriend pleased'' i'd be like '' MY HUSBAND is thrilled yes''
Why can't 23 year olds be married lol? I automatically get banded with none married pregnant women even though I have rings on due to my age I can only presume. Not that marriage makes any difference these days but it's still nice for people not to presume, or even for them to be more discreet-''is your fella pleased'' for example.
Regardless of whether I had rings on or not, I would still get the same questions. Peh!

 

[asacia]

I'm pretty young (21) and I've found that I people are generally more courteous if I'm with my husband, or wearing my wedding ring. Perhaps I'm just paranoid, but as I tend to go to most appointments alone, people seem to look at me in a sad and disapproving way - "Oh, another unwed young mother".

My notes say Miss on them, I keep meaning to get them to change that!

 

[mrscookie]

I have signed up with a new dentist and they automatically wrote me down as ''Miss Bolton''
If I was still a miss my surname wouldnt be Bolton... duh, it is my married name.
Presumptions! hrmph!
xx

 

[JayleighAnn]

I'm not married and as I'm not really showing yet, I can't say I've had any disaproving looks, but a guy I know asked me "are you and OH getting married before the baby comes?" and I said no and his response was "oh but I though thats what you did when you got pregnant?"

 

[Sovereign]

I'm not married but find that a lot of strangers are presuming that I am.x

 

[nikkip75]

im not married but engaged, an its gonna be a looooooooooooooong engagement! but thats our choice were not really into weddings and the idea of big parties an stuff, got better things to spend money on! just wanted the big rock an i was happy, hehe.

but i can honestly say ive never really had a problem, but if anyone even dared to look at me then my bump then my hand to see if i was married id ask them what the bloody hell they were lookin at! then bite their head off!!!

how does a wedding ring on you finger make you a better mother?!?!?!

 

[Shinning_Star]

I don't know if it's a paranoia thing or not. I think alot of women feel naked without their wedding rings I know my sis has had to take hers off although she's put them around her neck.

Sometimes, I think it's about our pride more than other peoples attitudes. I know I don't like it if my ring is left at home.
On experience when I had my son was NEVER married, never had rings on my fingers, and people would still assume I was married or with a boyf, in a way it wld annoy me just as much cos I was a proud single mum for four years! Now I'm just as proud to be a engaged pregnant mummy!

I have found no difference in peoples attitudes more the way I feel without rings, I think you can assume people are giving you dodgy looks! If People are rude they'll be rude either way!

 

[embojet]

I'm 25 and married. When I went to my booking in appointment, the receptionist asked me if I was Miss or Mrs. When I said Mrs, she said 'good girl!'

 

[mrscookie]

I'm 25 and married. When I went to my booking in appointment, the receptionist asked me if I was Miss or Mrs. When I said Mrs, she said 'good girl!'

lol this made me chuckle .


anyway
Being married does not affect how good a mother you are.
It does (in my case) show how stable my relationship is and that we are dedicated to eachother.. although I know so many who have been together for years and years without being married and they outlive alot of married couples. It boils down to the individuals.
xx

 

[helen1234]

people assume that me and my fella are married dunno why mw keeps saying hubby lol.
i got married and divorced at 21 so i'm not in a rush to get married, we've said we'll get married abroad when we do our friends gort married after 17yrs together and it was lovely i think its a lovely thing marriage.
we've been together 7 yrs, dont agree on anything lol and bicker like a pair of dears all in jest though, we even argue over what bread we are going to have in asda lol, all nice disagreements though i have to say never really had a huge bust up.

but i havent felt anyone treat me different,
now age?????? i feel alot different to peoples attitude towards me this time than last time when i was 17, my mw actually listens to me this time i'm 32
x

 

[danni2609]

I wasnt married when i had kaitlin i was only 20 and people disapproved! But now im married its ok in their eyes its annoying really because just as im young they expect me to be single or something

 

[polo_princess]

I tend to find people ask about my "partner" rather than referring to a husband or a boyfriend.

I guess its hard for people to ask nowadays as so many unmarried people or people who are single have babies. I just dont mention them around other pregnant women and let them bring it up first lol, then i cant go wrong

 

[BlackBerry25]

I am not married, and I don't plan on ever being married. People assume that me and Brian are married, and I tell them we are not! LOL. When I was pregnant a few people were rude and told my mom that I had to get married. My baby has my OH's last name and I am fine with that. I don't think I need to have the same last name as them.

 

[nikkip75]

I'm 25 and married. When I went to my booking in appointment, the receptionist asked me if I was Miss or Mrs. When I said Mrs, she said 'good girl!'

lol this made me chuckle .


anyway
Being married does not affect how good a mother you are.
It does (in my case) show how stable my relationship is and that we are dedicated to eachother.. although I know so many who have been together for years and years without being married and they outlive alot of married couples. It boils down to the individuals.
xx

i know people says marriage is about being in a stable relationship and showing your commitment to eachother but the biggest commitment i EVER made was planning mine and my partners children, carrying them for 9 months then raising them together in a happy home, we dont need to sign a piece of paper to show that.

 

[mrscookie]

I'm 25 and married. When I went to my booking in appointment, the receptionist asked me if I was Miss or Mrs. When I said Mrs, she said 'good girl!'

lol this made me chuckle .


anyway
Being married does not affect how good a mother you are.
It does (in my case) show how stable my relationship is and that we are dedicated to eachother.. although I know so many who have been together for years and years without being married and they outlive alot of married couples. It boils down to the individuals.
xx

i know people says marriage is about being in a stable relationship and showing your commitment to eachother but the biggest commitment i EVER made was planning mine and my partners children, carrying them for 9 months then raising them together in a happy home, we dont need to sign a piece of paper to show that.

Same here, having this baby is bigger and more important than any wedding.. but we still chose to marry aswell as have a family, and I am so glad we did too. Yeah it is just a piece of paper to some, but to us it is more than that.

 

[mama2b]

I am not married and in an ideal world I would have liked to of been married before having children but to have the wedding I want id probably be at the age where children wouldn't be an option !

I have noticed that most of the older middle class generation have made some sort of comment about marriage, usually, so when are you planning on getting married ?!

My family hit the roof about me not being married, even now they still go on about it. What annoys me most about it is not one of them is concerned about the religious element of it, its basically all for show, the party etc and I think they are embarrassed around people they know (even they probably couldn't care less)

I just get so cross that people think they have a right to comment on your maritial status, in this day and age if I had say £10,000 for a wedding i think it would be better put towards a house, car etc !

 

[tasha41]

No one's given me any funny looks really, I kinda just look chunky still in my work clothes, and when I'm at the mall and stuff no one really cares. My health care providers didn't say congratulations to me though until they asked what the situation with the father was, I showed them my promise ring and they were like "ooh you guys must be THRILLED, congratulations"

 

[nikky0907]

I think people today need to chose words carefully when it comes to such things...

I'm not married,nor in a relationship with Lola's dad but naturally people always presumed I was.When I'd say I'm not married they would be a little taken but I didn't notice any contempt.

 

[Currituckgirl]

I am 25 and not married to the father of my child. We were in a LONG relationship, but after I told him that I was pregnant he told me that I had to "get rid of it". I really wish it would have been a different responce. I haven't spoken to him since and he hasn't tried to contact me. As/if the pregnancy goes forward (I have had m/c before) I will ofcourse update him and encourage his involvement. I feel bad because this happened again but I have a very supporting family and a good job and a very stable head on my shoulders so I am not worrying about it. If anyone gives me bad looks I am not going to acknowledge it. They don't know my situation and they have no right to judge.