Meeting him tomorrow..

[lillprutten]

So I am going to meet him tomorrow, the one that will be my baby's father if all hopefully goes well.
He is having a new gf but says he wants to talk to see if we can work something out.
He also made sure he still doesn't want the baby. But I think he knows well that I won't kill it.
I can't blame him for not wanting the baby as it was very unplanned but lets face it, in beginning he said he won't meet me as long as I'm pregnant and he has met me three times since he found out i'm pregnant even though it's a month since last time!
So I am guessing/hoping that maybe he will want to see the baby, he seems not to be so negative about it as he was a month ago?
I suppose only time will tell and that I am just feeling for sharing my thoughts with others, sorry xxx

 

[tinkabells]

Sorry didnt wanna read and run, but just think of you and your baby now xxx

 

[suzanne108]

How did it go?

I don't think you should say that you can't blame him for not wanting the baby just because it isn't planned. They are cowards for running away and leaving us to deal with it on our own! xx

 

[lillprutten]

Well, we spoke, and he lives at a new lady now, and he said he would be living with me if i wasnt pregnant and kept talking about the future we could of had if I wasnt pregnant.
He even touched my belly with such care and said he wish he could say he wanted the baby but he just cant right now.
I dont know what to believe. He says he doesnt care about the lady where he stays (which I am very doubtful about if true) and he asked if I am going to keep the baby and so forth. I am seeing him again on monday, but it is hard to know if this is a move to try to make me kill the baby or if he really cares.
I really cant tell.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I feel for you hun. hugs x

 

[suzanne108]

Whatever you do do NOT let him pressure you into having an abortion.

Men will come and go but your child will ALWAYS be there.

Please don't let him do that to you. I've been through it myself and it was horrible. If he is going to keep asking if you are keeping the baby don't meet him. I would tell him you don't want to see him anymore and just keep in contact via phonecall/email/text until baby arrives.

He's the one with a new woman as well!!!! I hate men!!

 

[Dinoslass]

I agree. Don't have an abortion if you do not want to just to get him back. If he lives with someone else it is doubtful that he will leave just because you will have had an abortion. Besides if he doesn't careenough for you with a baby.... that is just silly. He should lvoe you whatever, with or without baby. You deserve a man who will go for you and whatever decisions in life you make together.

 

[lillprutten]

Yes I totally agree.
Even his teenage daughter says he can't stay faithful to a woman. I am quite sure he would leave the one he's living with now if I had an abortion but I am well aware he would cheat on me or leave me for someone else in the future.

I didn't know I felt this way for him until I realised how much I miss him etc. BUT it is my baby we are talking about and how can I kill a baby that's already a miniature human?
I cannot think of abortion less than murder, no matter what other people think or say.
He says it is not a baby and it doesn't even look like a baby.
He's coming here tomorrow, I think he's having a charmoffensive to make me want him more and he thinks I'll want him so much so I'll kill my baby....

Even my mother has started now, she said latest today "wouldn't it be better to get fully educated first so you can leave this country (I rather live abroad) and then have a baby with someone being there for both of you?" I told her not to put her nose into business that ain't hers. I know I have my family's full support but it kind of gets to you when you have him almost crying when he hears it's his baby and touching my belly as if he loved it and telling me the belly is beautiful and then saying that he wish he could say he wanted the baby but that he just can't deal with it in his life right now.
And then keep talking about all the things we could do if I wasn't pregnant.
And that he doesn't care about the woman he's living with now, that she just have a place for him to stay and that he would be with me if I wasn't pregnant and blabla bla

Sorry for nagging ladies xxx

 

[woadie]

This is so close to how I've been made to feel lilprutten.... I know the situation isn't identical, but I truly know how you feel right now. I can't say much as I'm so confused and cut up by my own predicament, that I wouldnt know how to respond to yours with any advice.... but my thoughts are with you x

(((hugs)))

 

[woadie]

The guy I was seeing said the same... he would be with me if I wasn't pregnant. As the girls have said to me in my thread.... he would accept me as I am, bump, baby and all, if he truly loved me. I guess I can only pass that wisdom along to you especially as in your case he is the genetic father as well x

 

[lillprutten]

Thank you so much ladies, it is true what you say that if he cared and loved me he would accept the baby as well. Will be "fun" to see what he will say tomorrow.
Thanks for all support and replies and I am sorry for all of you being in the same or any other bad situation xxx

 

[suzanne108]

I think if anyone has an abortion to keep a relationship together then the relationship will not last much longer anyway. You would ALWAYS blame him for it, and the relationship would never be the same again.

You are much better off on your own lilprutten. As for what your mum said....it is still early days. I'm sure she will love her grandchild when its here and hopefully she'll support you.

You always have us! xxx

 

[starbucks101]

Sorry lil but what a malnipulative son of a b*tch! what right does he has to say things like that to you... to touch your tummy and tell you if you wernt pregnant he would love you...

God men like that make me sick!

Personally i think you should whack him one right in the gonads hopefully they will fall off!

You do what you want to for you and your body and your baby. Dont be pressured or dictated to by him!

 

[lillprutten]

We met yesterday as well, and he keeps going on how he wishes things would be different.
This is literally tearing me apart. I love my baby and him but can't have both.
I hate this situation.
Thanks ladies for listening to me. Already he is breaking promises, first he said he can stay mon-fri, then it was "i cant stay tue", then it was "oh neither wednesday" and now it is "lets talk about it soon OK". So already he is making excuses not to see me.
I feel like such a fool for loving him.

Oh Suzanne, I think I wrote a bit weird there, as I'm not native english or so, I meant my mother thinks he will come around eventually and may want to see the baby, she is there for me and support me but she has asked 2-3 times if it wouldnt be better to get fully educated now and then get a baby.

 

[McLovin]

I think that man sounds like a right animal. disgusting

 

[lou_w34]

He sounds like a right head f**k to me!!!
Dont contact him anymore, it will be hard at first, but if he does get back in contact, then you will know how he really feels.

Your baby will give you so much more love than this excuse for a man can ever give you

 

[lillprutten]

I know, I am seeing him tomorrow again, no way I'm killing my baby but might as well enjoy my last days with him, I know he's an ass but I still like him and he thinks if we just meet a bit now that I'll kill the baby.
I know we had just almost met when I got pregnant but it doesn't justify an abortion.
Besides I never thought I could get pregnant actually and my son is 5 and at first it was a shock that I was pregnant but now I actually feel blessed.
So many people try for years and really fight and get depressed and some might never get a baby, I have sex more or less once and get pregnant.
A real shock but that turned out to be quite a nice surprise.
It won't be a dance on roses, but it's my second child so I know well what it is about even if all children are different personalities.

 

[surprisebaby]

he sounds extremely manipulative. I think you should be very careful. It's like he know how to get what he wants with you. don't fall for it. I think you're instincts are telling you that something is not genuine with what he is saying.... i mean he's with someone else yet trying to charm you into getting an abortion. It's quite sick really.

xx

 

[lillprutten]

Yes I know, I think he is too. As if I would kill my little baby no matter what little cute dreams he tries to put into my head- they just wont work. I think soon he will realise and then he wont contact me unless his feelings for me are genuine.
It's quite hard to know what he thinks but it really doesnt matter much as I am not killing this baby and therefore I will never find out if his little sweet words were true or not xxx

 

[suzanne108]

Good on you lilprutten

Now I think you need to stop meeting up with him.....you don't need to see him socially in my opinion. Especially as he is an idiot!! xx