Men and their stupid mixed signals!

Discussion in 'Waiting To Try' started by Vesta, Dec 19, 2009.

  1. Vesta

    Vesta Mum of 1. WTT #2

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2009
    Messages:
    1,614
    Likes Received:
    0
    My husband and I were due to start TTC this month. But my DH came up with some bullshit excuse to postpone it until god knows when. I had some contraceptive pills left over from before so started taking them again. I went to the doctors on Friday to get more. When I got home I had the following conversation with my husband.

    Me - "The doctor suggested I go on the implant instead. It's more reliable as we don't have to rely on me taking the pill every morning. What do you think?"

    DH - "Nah. Stay on the pill. It doesn't really matter does it?"

    Me - "What doesn't matter?"

    DH - "If you get pregnant."

    Me - "I thought you didn't want a baby?"

    DH - "I dont."

    Me - :dohh:

    What planet is he on? Because it's not the same one as me!
     
  2. Rumpskin

    Rumpskin Free to try again!

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2007
    Messages:
    7,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have had many mixed conversations with my OH and sometimes we still go round in circles.

    Let things settle and have another try.

    Good luck xxx
     
  3. plutosblue

    plutosblue Mum of 2 & duffed.

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Messages:
    11,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Aw hun :hugs:

    I know how you feel DF is driving me nuts with his logic :dohh:

    He doesn't want me to be a fat (as in pregnant) bride, yet he doesn't want to use protection which may result in baby to which he replies, "I don't mind"

    Does that make sense to you? I dont think so !

    I agree with Rumpskin, let the dust settle and try approach the subject again.
     
  4. angie79

    angie79 Mummy of 2

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2009
    Messages:
    9,518
    Likes Received:
    0
    when the time comes i damn know my oh will be exactly the same
    why is it they dont like the lets try thing but doesnt mind if you was to fall pregnant without trying
    i think they are just lazy to bother trying and just want it on a plate :haha:
    either that or not sure what they want

    i will never understand men and there minds its so confusing

    i feel for you

    xx
     
  5. Blob

    Blob Sarah :)

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2008
    Messages:
    13,945
    Likes Received:
    0
    Argh i got the same thing...the morning...lets try for a baby...by that night oh dont we should now :saywhat:
     
  6. Bambi1985

    Bambi1985 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2009
    Messages:
    1,287
    Likes Received:
    0
    Soooo true, OH has just said ha doesn't want a baby but we can start trying for one on feb :wacko:
     
  7. goddess25

    goddess25 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2008
    Messages:
    11,262
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hmmm men they dont have a clue. That is certainly a very mixed message he is giving there. I would talk to him about it in a week or so.. it sounds like he is too scared to comit to actually proper trying for a baby but if it happens, it happens and that is probably not so scary to him. Not sure why though!!!! The outcome is still the same.
     
  8. happynbubbly

    happynbubbly Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2009
    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    0
    lol. For me and the OH it's the opposite, almost every time we BD he always asks me if I want one. Usually right before we get to it. I answer different almost every time, and I don't know why, maybe because I do want one, but I know it's really not a good time. He's crazy about having kids with me, but he respects my decision in waiting. His whole thing he said just this morning was "We're problem-solvers, we could figure it out if we did". To which I said, "Yes, we are, but why complicate life when it complicates itself enough on its own?" Sometimes I do get hormonal and plead with him to get me pregnant, but he knows its not a serious conversation, and knows my cycle and when to actually listen to me lol.
     
  9. sleepinbeauty

    sleepinbeauty WTT#1 after marriage

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2008
    Messages:
    3,231
    Likes Received:
    0
    My OH is the same. We had 2 night of unprotected sex when he knows I just missed the 1st 3 pills in my pack from being sick this weekend. But he doesn't want kids yet. But we "shouldn't cry over spilt milk". But he doesn't want kids yet.

    I'm starting to think someone is a litte more ok with kids than he says!
     
  10. Lou

    Lou Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2008
    Messages:
    1,022
    Likes Received:
    0
    hmm my OH's the same... I have a feeling I'll be back to WTT pretty soon as we pretty much are. :o/

    OH told me we should NTNP (and I was over the moon about it,) so when we went to DTD he clammed up and tried to put a condom on, to which I said, why? (cos we're meant to be NTNP in his words - not mine) and he said, 'cos we might get you pregnant.' I was just like... 'you do realise what Not-trying-Not-Preventing means dont you dear?' anyway we didnt end up doing the deed that night... then the next night we were about to do it and I went.. 'condom?' and he went... 'Doesn't really matter does it?'.. talk about mixed signals?!?!?!

    Anyway - I think im guna come back over to WTT, until OH's hearts properly involved (and not just his penis) I'm going to fight that annoying urge to be preggers.

    Men eh?! At least we have each other girls!
    xxxx
     
  11. xsophiexleax

    xsophiexleax Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2009
    Messages:
    928
    Likes Received:
    0
    Men are so stupid I swear!!
    Hopefully you'll get a clear answer out of him soon!
     
  12. Essie

    Essie Very proud mummy

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2008
    Messages:
    3,434
    Likes Received:
    0
    On Saturday hubby and I sat down and talked and eventually tentativly agreed that we'd like to start TTC around June 2010.

    Then in bed last night I reached for the condoms and he said "well we can also dtd without". What?? It's his choice to wait and yet he says that? Men cannot make up their minds it seems. So confusing for us!
     
  13. kissingtoast

    kissingtoast Gorgeous DD, baking #2

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2009
    Messages:
    990
    Likes Received:
    0
    Its soooo comforting to know its not just my OH!!!! He says he's not ready yet, but then was upset when I wasn't pg after an oopsie last months cos "It would be nice."

    Its definately a commitment thing - they don't like to commit to a date and have to worry about performing when needed n all that - but if it happens by accident I think they'd love it :rofl:
     
  14. Essie

    Essie Very proud mummy

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2008
    Messages:
    3,434
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think that is exactly it! Mine is really unhappy to set a definite date but talks about "when we have a baby" all the time. I think secretly he'd love an accidental BFP.
     
  15. Kassy

    Kassy Mummy and expecting #2

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2009
    Messages:
    1,240
    Likes Received:
    0
    Lol men are so silly, the other night me and OH were DTD and half way through he pulled out to stop himself finishing early and ended up leaking abit of pre-cum instead, i said to him that "We shouldn't carry on then, that stuff is potent!!".....he carried on anyway :dohh:
     
  16. sleepinbeauty

    sleepinbeauty WTT#1 after marriage

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2008
    Messages:
    3,231
    Likes Received:
    0
    So we dtd on the day I O'd. Now he's like, "I don't want kids." Too bad bud! You might have just had your mind made up for you! *groans*
     
  17. Emma.Gi

    Emma.Gi Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2008
    Messages:
    1,390
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's the other way round for us, Jett is the one who wants another one and soon and I want to wait lol!
     
  18. BattyNora

    BattyNora Third trimester with 1st

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2009
    Messages:
    991
    Likes Received:
    0
    So glad to hear this isn't just my OH. One day DTD he's very tentative and is obviously not comfortable until the condom is on, and other days he'll just go "if it happens it happens!".

    Whenever we have the conversations he's like Jekyl and Hyde - one days its definately honeymoon to start, and others its ummmm we'll see after. Which is why I say after wedding we'll most probs be NTNP, just so the little blessums doesn't feel under pressure :D
     
  19. kissingtoast

    kissingtoast Gorgeous DD, baking #2

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2009
    Messages:
    990
    Likes Received:
    0
    Mine is EXACTLTY the same - talks about when we have kids all the time! :dohh: :shrug: *groan*
     
  20. GirlBlue

    GirlBlue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2009
    Messages:
    644
    Likes Received:
    0
    Definitely....b/c OH's are crazy!!! Everytime we get ready to DTD w/o a rubber, DH says...you're trying to get pregnant aren't you. I say no, he says yes you are...and then says, it's ok if you get pregnant babe....which rives me nuts! But we're WTT. Then sometime after he says...man, God help me, I don't know when I'll be ready to have kids...I like it with just the two of us. Would it be wrong if I wanted to wait forever? But one of you hit it on the head...I think they like the lack of pressure so they don't have to commit to planning.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice