Men excluded from baby showers?

[aliss]

I read today that baby showers where men are not invited, are archaic and gender discrimination.

My (genuine) thought is that men do not care about attending baby showers and would rather stay home and play xbox on their Saturday off of work.

What do you think? Is that taking it too far?

 

[staralfur]

I think it depends on if the man wants to be a part of it or not. Most of my friends have had female-only baby showers and as far as I know their significant others could not care less that they weren't involved.

I don't have very many female friends so having a shower specific to girls would have been a pretty depressing turnout for me. I asked my OH if he wanted to just do a co-ed shower and he was actually pretty excited. I have to say watching a bunch of guys play typical baby shower games was pretty entertaining and they seemed to have a blast!

I see no issue with having either kind of shower as long as everyone involved (or excluded) is happy with it.

 

[Noelle610]

My husband was invited to a co-ed baby shower along with me and he hated every minute of it.

 

[Sarahkka]

Yes, I do think that the traditional women-only baby shower is based on outdated gender stereotypes. All men are different. Some would love to be included in a celebration of their expected child. Others would probably feel out of place if the shower itself doesn't change to reflect changing roles and values.
Honestly? I find "traditional" showers boring and hugely lacking in relevance to my lifestyle and perspective. I have always had lots of both male and female friends - I had both at my bachelorette party andf I had both at my baby shower. It would be very odd to me to throw a party that would alienate a huge group of my friends.
To each their own, but I would like to see this tradition evolve to be more relevant and inclusive.

 

[mrs_park]

Well I don't know about other couples, but my DH sees it as an opportunity to hang out with his mates.

Sitting around drinking tea from pretty cups, eating cupcakes and guessing my tummy measurements or what day the baby will be born, isn't his "thing". I wouldn't expect him to be involved. Maybe a baby shower should be more considerate of male and female guests, but DH and I are both happy with the "traditional" type of baby shower. (And just to add, he is VERY involved in everything else relating the the baby).

 

[CMarie]

Like others have said, I think it depends on the man. We had 2 baby showers for our LO, and my DH came to both of them and loved it. It might depend on the type of baby shower it is as well . . one of ours was just family only, and the other was for all of our friends to come. He seemed to enjoy himself, but he hovered around the food a lot

 

[steph.]

Its just like women not being invited to poker night or footie night. I guess it IS gender discrimination but one both sexes are quite happy to accept.

I do have a friend though that is having a bbq with everyone invited which i thought was a good idea. More people likely to go so more pressies!

 

[Leesy]

My OH isn't interested in baby showers. We went to one co-ed baby shower once and he complained when the invite arrived - isn't this stuff for women? I don't think there is anything wrong with baby showers being a thing for the ladies. Like pp said men have poker nights, they also have golf day's watch car racing etc etc. I couldn't care less about that sort of stuff. I don't think there is anything wrong with gender specific activities.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I just think it is a tradition, women only usually come to the baby shower. Just like a Bachelor's party, women aren't there either.

My husband I know for a fact wound not want to be there, I wouldn't care if he was, but he would rather not.

I agree I don't think there is anything wrong either with specific activities for gender . It would actually give me a break if my husband had more " Gender Activities " ..

 

[Lettuce]

My DH would rather give birth himself than go to a baby shower! though he did go out the week after Jenny was born to "wet the baby's head" which is the boys equivalent of a shower I guess.
My brother however, would have loved to have gone to his baby shower. So different horses for different courses.
I don't think it's dicriminating tbh, because surely you know you're own partner and would discuss with him if you wanted him and his pals to come, and you'd know if you had the type of friends that would enjoy it. We don't. And to be honest, I love the girls showers as we usually have a good laugh about things that'd make our other halves blush! and they don't need to know some of the things we talk about.
I don't expect to be invited on the "boys night out" and he doesn't come to my girls ones, but we have plenty of nights out with all of us too. Plus nowadays, often one of us has to stay home, so we have separate nights out more often.

 

[robinator]

I asked DH if he wanted to come to the one for our baby, but he wasn't interested. I don't think female only showers are purposefully discriminatory; I don't think it even occurs to most people. There are bigger battles to fight than if men should be at baby showers.

 

[Jaylynne]

DH was at mine because we had to drive 2 hours to my parents house for it and I wasn't feeling good (turned out I had preeclampsia and didn't know it yet-LO was born exactly a week later). And my male cousin came because they had a bit to drive as well. It was fun! I wouldn't write "women only" on invitations but usually it's only women that want to come anyway. If they want to go and are close to the mom to be I'm not sure what the big deal is if they came. It's a party!

 

[brunette&bubs]

My hubby went golfing during mine along with my two BILs and FIL.

Totally fine with me. He did make an appearance at the end where everyone asked how he was if he was excited etc.

My SILs hubby did the same thing at hers.

I've heard of "beer and diaper parties" for men. I can totally picture my hubby doing that

 

[Leesy]

On a slightly different note, I don't get the wetting of the babies head thing, why should the man get to go out drinking with his mates and leave new mum and baby home after the ladies have done all the hard work! I don't really care just saying!

 

[Button#]

I've never been to a baby shower as we don't really have them here but surely it's just a themed party and if the mum has a lot of close male friends she can invite them and if they don't want to come they can decline. It doesn't sound like something that should be controversial.

 

[NellyLou]

I don't consider it archaic, it's just tradition. Plus lots of people so have coed baby showers now. My husband had no interest in attending ours. Instead he went to a hockey game with a bunh of his friends and their wives came to the shower. A lot of men have diaper parties now which I think is fun!

 

[Piper84]

I read today that baby showers where men are not invited, are archaic and gender discrimination.

My (genuine) thought is that men do not care about attending baby showers and would rather stay home and play xbox on their Saturday off of work.

What do you think? Is that taking it too far?

I'm not really well acquainted with baby showers, but it would be interesting to know where this opinion was expressed and by whom.

While I don't see anything wrong with traditionally male-only or female-only social events, surely it's up to the individual and no-one's place to tell these people they're being discriminatory or not at a privately organised social event?

 

[staralfur]

On a slightly different note, I don't get the wetting of the babies head thing, why should the man get to go out drinking with his mates and leave new mum and baby home after the ladies have done all the hard work! I don't really care just saying!

I don't get this either, I had never heard of it until this forum. What does going out and getting smashed have to do with just having a baby?

 

[Raven24]

to me a baby shower is a similar thing to a hen night, being a women only thing and i dont really know any men that would even want to go to a baby shower.
that being said if id had one and hubby wanted ot be there i wouldnt have objected

 

[Leesy]

On a slightly different note, I don't get the wetting of the babies head thing, why should the man get to go out drinking with his mates and leave new mum and baby home after the ladies have done all the hard work! I don't really care just saying!

I don't get this either, I had never heard of it until this forum. What does going out and getting smashed have to do with just having a baby?

I know hey. The husband of a friend of mine went out for the wetting of his babies head (first child) turned his phone off after my friend had phoned him a couple of times after midnight and asked him to come home. He then rocked up at 4am! I would have been mighty pissed at that...