Men excluded from baby showers?

[Scottish mum]

I though it was all about having some girl time? What's wrong with just females my oh would rather not be there!! He would rather be watching football!!

I think this is an American thing tho as its not to common here in Scotland x

 

[DragonflyWing]

Both of my baby showers were co-ed, and DH hated that he had to come

He said "Aren't these things supposed to be women-only? Do I really have to go?"

Honestly, I think it should be up to either the mother or whoever is throwing the shower. I don't think it's a big deal either way.

 

[smokey]

I dont see the harm in a female only baby shower as long as the father is ok with it.
Oh would actualy want to be part of it if its a case of celebrating the enentual arrival of his child but if its going ti be loads of woman cooing over baby clothes and such then he probably wouldnt.
Its like a stag or hen do, a chance for male or female bonding over a avent and just a tradition to be gender based, going out to wet the babies head is typicaly a male event and the male version of a baby shower.
Saying that though me and hubby gor bored of our stag/hen do and snuck off early and ended uo spending the evening together

 

[smokey]

Oh and our bridal shower was a joint thing as well but we didnt know anything about it.
OH grandparents arranged it with all both families there and friends with their kids.
We where made to sit with groom hats and veils on with ballons everywhere and food and opening traditional bottom draw type presents and good luck type things.
I think it mostly depends on what type of event it is, this was a family style event where as my friends brudal shower was more a "why is that gift box vibrating" typw event and more like a ann summers party.

 

[DragonflyWing]

I dont see the harm in a female only baby shower as long as the father is ok with it.
Oh would actualy want to be part of it if its a case of celebrating the enentual arrival of his child but if its going ti be loads of woman cooing over baby clothes and such then he probably wouldnt.
Its like a stag or hen do, a chance for male or female bonding over a avent and just a tradition to be gender based, going out to wet the babies head is typicaly a male event and the male version of a baby shower.
Saying that though me and hubby gor bored of our stag/hen do and snuck off early and ended uo spending the evening together

Going out to wet the babies head? What is that?

 

[smokey]

I dont see the harm in a female only baby shower as long as the father is ok with it.
Oh would actualy want to be part of it if its a case of celebrating the enentual arrival of his child but if its going ti be loads of wouman cooing over baby clothes and such then he probably wouldnt.
Its like a stag or hen do, a chance for male or female bonding over a avent and just a tradition to be gender based, going out to wet the babies head is typicaly a male event and the male version of a baby shower.
Saying that though me and hubby gor bored of our stag/hen do and snuck off early and ended uo spending the evening together

Going out to wet the babies head? What is that?

Prettyuch the male version.
Once the baby is born, somtimes even that night although some at least wait for the weekend the father goes out with other male family members and friends normaly the grandfathers as well to a pub and get pissed to celebrate becoming a father and a new family member.
Traditionaly its called wetting the babies head

 

[DragonflyWing]

Interesting, I'd never heard of that!

 

[Leesy]

I dont see the harm in a female only baby shower as long as the father is ok with it.
Oh would actualy want to be part of it if its a case of celebrating the enentual arrival of his child but if its going ti be loads of wouman cooing over baby clothes and such then he probably wouldnt.
Its like a stag or hen do, a chance for male or female bonding over a avent and just a tradition to be gender based, going out to wet the babies head is typicaly a male event and the male version of a baby shower.
Saying that though me and hubby gor bored of our stag/hen do and snuck off early and ended uo spending the evening together

Going out to wet the babies head? What is that?

Prettyuch the male version.
Once the baby is born, somtimes even that night although some at least wait for the weekend the father goes out with other male family members and friends normaly the grandfathers as well to a pub and get pissed to celebrate becoming a father and a new family member.
Traditionaly its called wetting the babies head

And the biggest crock of s^*#! Seriously that I don't get. The mother does all the hard work, then the father goes out and gets pissed

 

[Lettuce]

Generally in our group of friends it's just a gathering of the friends and male relatives, nothing terrible! A few drinks in the pub to celebrate don't annoy me! My husband had just as much right to celebrate as me. so long as he didn't come house stocious I didn't mind.

 

[smokey]

Its just about making a toast to the newborn, as long as they dont go too far (but most men will) its just a bit of harmless celebration tradition.
Hubby was going to do it but didnt bother in the end, he just went home and opened a can (probably more out f shock) and my dad did the same at his house.

 

[Leesy]

Australian men must have a different view of a few drinks to celebrate... lol

 

[Tiff]

If its a cultural tradition then I personally don't see any harm in it.

Personally speaking I was in survival mode when I had Claire, not sure I would have wanted him going out and having a great night while I was trying to get the hang of BF, recovering from stitches and the general nastiness that NO ONE told me how post birth was.

 

[smokey]

most of the time though that first night the woman is still in hospital so I didnt really care if he was at home or down the pub celebrating.

 

[staralfur]

Personally speaking I was in survival mode when I had Claire, not sure I would have wanted him going out and having a great night while I was trying to get the hang of BF, recovering from stitches and the general nastiness that NO ONE told me how post birth was.

Agreed, I would not have been pleased at all if my OH was out drunk at a pub right after our LO was born! But it's not common here so I'm sure I'd see it differently if it was the norm.

 

[Tiff]

Yep, to me its the same as baby showers in general. Quite common here, but not so much across the pond.

I've read people who think baby showers are greedy. But it really isn't like that, I love going to them and I love giving gifts! If I didn't have the money to give a gift I'd probably just decline in going.

Sometimes its hard to understand stuff if you haven't grown up around it. Definitely didn't mean any offense.

 

[smokey]

I must admit the idea of a friend buying a buggy or crib (anything more then a cute outfit) baffles me.
I didnt like OH family buying large items either, cant really explain it right but the idea of others paying for my childs stuff when it was my descision to have a child and that should be my duty just seems odd.

I had a friend of the family who had a baby shower and she sent out a gift list and there was things on there that cost over £200 like a buggy, a cot, a car seat sort of stuff on there and my first thought was P*ss off thats your child im not paying for that.

I think if its a case of a fun celebration with a few small volentary gifts like some little clothes items or trinket type thing then thats one thing but I also find it realy odd to have a party to celebrate a child before its born, kinda seems like tempting fate to me.

 

[staralfur]

I've never seen a baby shower where people gave big gifts like that. Usually people keep it under $50. Our registry didn't have anything over $30 on it (though nobody bought off of it anyway, haha). I think some people put big ticket items on their registry for their parents or family who've offered to buy something big, or a group of friends who all want to chip in for something big. I doubt anyone puts a $600 crib on their registry expecting a friend to just swing by and pick it up!

 

[Tiff]

Oh man, I got crazy stuff at my baby shower. When we were doing our registry, the lady told us to put expensive items on there (just a few though) because oftentimes co workers like to all pitch in $10 and get a bigger, useful item.

I got a baby swing and a car seat at mine. It was greatly appreciated as it was our first kiddo but never expected at all!

I do think that's the difference though, if I ever thought it was expected of me to drop a substantial amount of money I'd be pretty ticked. Thankfully everyone who came to my shower knows I am not like that and I was just as happy with the super cute onesies and outfits that I received as I was with the car seat and swing.

 

[DragonflyWing]

Wow, I'm continually amazed at the cultural differences between the US, UK, and Canada!

I'm in the US, and here it is extremely common to have at least one baby shower, even for second and third children, and almost everyone creates a gift registry where you choose what you want/need for the baby, and family and friends choose their gifts from the list. I had a registry at Babies R Us, and I had a wide variety of price ranges, from $3 to $350. I also included on the invitations that gifts were not necessary. I had two baby showers; one for DH's family and our friends in Wisconsin, and one for my family and friends in New York. I ended up getting everything on my registry...and that was a lot, since I had twins. We got several big-ticket items like two car seats, a double stroller, a pack 'n play, and two swings, plus a $250 gift card and a few $50 gift cards. We didn't really have to buy anything for the babies...between the showers and hand-me-downs, they're set until they're about a year old.

I was blown away by the generosity, but honestly it's not that uncommon here. I was just as happy with the $350 stroller from my 3 aunts as I was with a handmade set of booties from DH's aunt. All the gifts were appreciated greatly!

 

[Noelle610]

Yup, the big baby shower thing is huge in the US! I know it's baffling to my UK girls, but it's common in the US for a community of friends and family to pitch in and get you the things you need for your pending arrival. Parents and relatives usually buy the expensive gifts while friends will get the less expensive items.