Mental illness survivors

[madefromtrees]

Can I join even though I'm not diagnosed with anything yet? lol
Got my first appt with mental health on 28th and I'm absolutely dreading it. I suppose in a way its a good thing to actually find out what the hell is going on with me and start trying to fix it but I'm not sure I want to know?
Maybe I just dont want someone to finalise it with a title and say 'you HAVE got... and you NEED... to make it right'
Can't wait to get my 'normal' headspace back. I just feel so emotionally empty unless its anger or tears. I've had loads of those 'depression test' things but they all say I'm not depressed. They just don't ask the right questions!
I don't know how to make myself feel happy again. And I should be happy. I have the best little boy I could ever have dreamed of and I feel like I'm letting him down in some way by not being happy all the time, even though I never let him see me cry or getting angry.
And countless arguments with OH because I don't understand whats going on in my own head but I expect him to understand how I'm feeling.

Like pennysbored said, I fell pregnant after 3 months of being with my partner and never really experienced the 'dating' side of it all. I really feel like I missed out on that and don't really know who OH is as a person, only as a daddy.

Sorry I rambled a bit. Hopefully the appt will help me figure out what the hell is wrong with me.

 

[jillypoop]

Hi girls

I'm after advice more than anything.

I've always been what my mum calls "over emotional drama queen".

Last year in the space of 3 months, my mother disowned me, my boyfriend and I moved into our own place and an uncle died. I wasn't particularly close to my uncle and my mother made up with me after a few very long weeks. I was also badly bullied by my boss at the time.

Everything after this is a bit iffy, I had what I can only call a breakdown at work and a manager told me to leave work and go to the doctors straight away. The doctor I spoke to said that I had Post traumatic stress because a lot of things had changed in a short space of time. I was signed off work for just over a month. They tried to put me on tablets (dont remember which ones) but I refused.

Since then I have noticed I am getting severe mood swings. I have suffered badly from PMS since I started my periods and this has been getting worse but I will have a few weeks where pretty much anything will make me cry and my OH has to force me out of bed to work.

Things have got better since we moved into our new place and I have my new job that I love. Everything has been much better and I have been loving life but in the past couple of weeks things have started to get harder and for a few months now I have been reading about bipolar disorder. I have been thinking alot about the past few years and I am pretty certain I have it but its obviously hard to diagnose.

I don't know if I am just making a mountain out of a molehill but when I have a bad few weeks/months it's so bad, it makes mine and my OH's life a misery. The poor guy doesn't know what to do to make it better. I get a lot of chocolate because he feels really helpless!

As we are WTT, I want to get this sorted before we start TTC. I know that I can't be cured, but I really just want to know what is wrong with me and why I'm feeling this way.

Sorry if this offends anyone, just needing some advise.

xxx

 

[madefromtrees]

Hi,
I'm not sure if this will help or not, but my partner was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder when he came out of the army and was put on a course of tablets. He was completely against going on any kind of medication but in the end he did.
He was meant to go back for more when his pack had finished but he didn't.
I don't know if they made him feel any better but I certainly saw a huge difference in him and his behaviour. Normally, he'd spend whole weekends out drinking and being quick-tempered and hard to get on with, but on the tablets he 'changed' and didn't even think about going out, seemed a lot happier in himself and was much easier to get along with.
Maybe the tablets would help to ease the problems a little bit if not anything else? It might give your OH a bit of a break too, and get to spend some nice time with you without feeling like anything he does isn't good enough?

Ignore this message if you like (it's probably no help anyway lol), just thought I'd share my experience.
Hope you get things back on track soon x

 

[jillypoop]

Hey guys

Once again, need your advice!!

I've been ill for a few days with a stomach virus and been off work. My depression/anxiety has came back over the past couple of months and the last couple of days have been really hard for me. I went to the doctors this morning because of both of this.

Basically I wanted him to be able to tell me whats wrong and why I'm feeling like that.

He really disappointed me because he said that it was basically just because I was ill that I was feeling so low. This really shocked me because he seemed to understand exactly what I meant when I was really low last year.

He just didn't seem to care and I'm left feeling stupid and like a fraud.

What do I do now? Has anyone had this problem before?

xxx

 

[hopeandpray]

Hi i've had depression for about 9 years but have been mentally healthy since may what did for me, among other things, was cognative behavioural therapy. has anybody else tried this? how did u find it? i was put on medication first because i was in too much of a bad state to do it without it but after about 5 months of it my whole life has changed

 

[hopeandpray]

Hey guys

Once again, need your advice!!

I've been ill for a few days with a stomach virus and been off work. My depression/anxiety has came back over the past couple of months and the last couple of days have been really hard for me. I went to the doctors this morning because of both of this.

Basically I wanted him to be able to tell me whats wrong and why I'm feeling like that.

He really disappointed me because he said that it was basically just because I was ill that I was feeling so low. This really shocked me because he seemed to understand exactly what I meant when I was really low last year.

He just didn't seem to care and I'm left feeling stupid and like a fraud.

What do I do now? Has anyone had this problem before?

xxx

hi hun, you should get a second opinion from another doctor, maybe a different doctor would refer you to a counsellor,phsychiatrist,psycholgist etc? or go back to your doctor and ask him to refer you to someone else. you know yourself better than anyone else and know the difference between when you feel physically unwell and mentally low hope this works out for you

 

[hopeandpray]

Hi girls
Does anyone suffer from social phobia??? Thinking I may have it, always been really shy and not wanted to go to things where I didnt know anyone and can even remember this as a small girl, things have got worse over the years, have heard people say I am boring - which doesnt do much for your confidence. So I now know I dont make people laugh, I barely can strike up a conversation, even with people I have known for ages and I absolutely dread any social situation for months on end, and come up with one excuse after another so I dont have to go, or if I do have to go I end up replaying every single thing I have said over in my mind for hours after, analysing it. To make matters worse my OH is very loud and outgoing (which is probably what attracted me to him, hoped it would rub off on me!), so are all his family and all his group of friends/wives. He doesnt understand me at all. Had a baby in January and it was thought I had PND but have since gone back to work and feel much better on that score. Have got a Hen-do this weekend, really dont want to go - any one any tips - I just want people to like me and want to be my friend - god that sounds so sad! Having read your posts you have all been through hell, but it really does feel like my little world is hell too sometimes. Any suggestions, was thinking about the CBT but it doesnt sound like its really helped many of you guys - also it works on what you think people are thinking - but I know not just think it as I have heard it said on various occasions over the years. I have never been able to relax and let myself go - what do I do girls?

hi i have tried CBT and i think its worth a go, it does work on what you think ppl think but also makes you care a litl less iykwim? it made me appear less nervous which makes ppl more comfortable around you. i had pretty bad social phobia. I still can't ring ppl on the phone, which is realy strange and embarassing! my OH is extremely outgoing too but i think he is beginning to understand where im coming from. sorry if that didnt help at all. just wanted you to know that youre not the only one

 

[Locke]

Hi everyone

I have had PTSD for 4 years now following being kept against my will for 6 months and sexually and physically abused
Going through a very rough patch at the moment so not entirely sure what to say, but I'm glad there is a group for those os uf with mental health issues

I will try to post when I feel better

 

[kaylynn040485]

Hi everyone, just found this and great group.

Well ive just been diagnosed with pnd and tbh it has really scared me and this group as put me at ease so much. I didnt think i had pnd because i feel so much love for my daughter and i automatically thought pnd meant u struggled to feel close to your baby so just thought it was down to the big change in my life and down to having a tough time lately. Me and Oh seperated for about a month about 3 months ago and although we have now sorted things out it really affected me. So i went to gpp and explained how i was not sleeping, struggling with eating, no energy, feeling anxious,upset for no reason and had begun having panic attacks plus i was suffering dihorrea everyday so was struggling to get out for fear of an accident.

So im now on anti depressants and for the moment i dont feel much difference, just a bit spaced out! Think my main fear is that my daughter gets taken away from me so reading everones posts has really helped as i see all you ladies who have children doing a fantastic job and living with a mental illness. H/v came out last week because i notified her of the pnd and she said jessica is thriving and im doing a great job so thats good but its just quite scary feeling this way when i should be enjoyng my girl!

Im due back at work the first week in december and think this is making me feel worse as i just dont know how im going to manage if the medication hasnt started working by then, im a bit like a zombie just now so please tell me it eases?

Sorry ive babbled on a bit lol

Kx

 

[veganmum2be]

hey i'm Bexx.
I'm diagnosed with depression and psychosis NOS, and they're still assessing weather i have a personality disorder. I've been self harming sinse i was 13, started of mild then went to extremely serious in 2008. I've been battling with eating disorder NOS sinse 15, but am now a healthy weight. I've had multiple suicide attempts and hospital visits. I also have anxiety and suffer with flashbacks from a sexual attack when i was 15.
I was on medication, but i stopped taking them as soon as i suspected i was pregnant, and although the doctors reccomended i continue taking them despite the risks, i want no risk to my baby, so i'm drug free, things are okay at the moment, but i'm very scared of relapse.

nice to see a thread like this.

 

[hopeandpray]

hi girls, just wanted to see how you're all doing? i have exams soon so the stress is piling up! doing ok though and hope that you all are too

 

[reallytinyamy]

^^^ I just popped on to do the same!!

I've not ben here for ages and just wanted to catch u with how people are over this festive period- its the most difficult time for me...glad we're out the other side of it now if I'm honest. I've not been able to eat, sleep, relax, it just seems to make me really anxious.

I am pleased to say though I have gotten through it without meds this year so I'm really chuffed

 

[hopeandpray]

well done on the no meds! im still on mine, though half amount u was on last yr so pretty pleased. hopefully 2010 will be a happy healthy year for us all