MIL Chain Smokes

[Wtbam]

Please could I have some opinions?

I had a big row with my OH yesterday because he wanted to go to his parents house to tell them about the pregnancy, and I said I didn't want to because his mother chain smokes, and the room becomes very smoky, and I was worried about the risk to the baby in breathing in second hand smoke.

I made an alternative suggestion, perhaps we could take them out for a meal (ie in a restaurant where you cannot smoke). I would like to be there when he tells them, but I do not want to put the baby at risk, and I can't ask her to stop smoking in her own house.

He told me that she smoked all the way through her pregnancy with him in the 1970's and he is absolutely fine, and that I should just not worry about it, as it will be one or two occasions, it isn't going to do any harm.

I also worry about when the baby is born, what if she insists on smoking when we go to visit?

Am I over reacting? How bad is it to be subjected to second hand smoke for a short period of time (a few hours?) in an enclosed small living room?

I am 8 weeks pregnant on Thursday and don't want ANY extra risks in this pregnancy.

 

[MoldyVoldy]

You can go and then say that the smoke is making you sick...maybe stay outside? I think your suggestion to go to a restaurant is a good idea.

After the baby is born i'd suggest the same thing to be honest. lol. Second hand smoke is very toxic. Your DH was also just one of the "lucky" ones...https://www.webmd.com/baby/smoking-during-pregnancy

 

[sandilion]

You are NOT overreacting. Second hand smoke is actually more toxic than first hand - and when it becomes second hand it releases a lot of harmful toxins.

I am shocked your DH actually said that!! So it's best to put your health and your baby's health at risk just to keep this MIL happy?? How ridiculous. I just wouldn't go if i was you, and i certainly wouldn't let my child in her house if she smokes indoors.

Any amount of time exposed to second hand smoke is bad for you from my understanding. Whether its just a few hours or a whole day.

 

[_jellybean_]

I wouldn't go. I'd print out research for your dh.

 

[Wtbam]

Thanks all, I'm glad to know that I am not over-reacting!

I think TBH my OH is a little scared of upsetting/offending his mother, but he should be more concerned about the health of our baby (hence our big row!).

I just hope he/she can come round to my thinking, otherwise she is going to miss out on this exciting time just because she refuses to stop smoking when she is around me. I don't even know how she would react if he asked her to stop, because he says it isn't even an option!

Anyway, thank you for making me feel better about this, and making me realise I am doing the right thing!

 

[oregoon]

Gosh, I've been wondering the same thing. My upstairs neighbor smokes all day and I work from home, so I usually keep the doors and windows shut. My DH understands but I can see where you're coming from, being frustrated that he would rather please his mother than listen to your cautions and concerns. My twin sister is pregnant right now too, and her DH calls her "paranoid" for not wanting to eat unsafe foods. Umm that's called being a good mother, not being paranoid, lol

 

[moomin_troll]

I would print out or show your oh research because that to me would be very condicending.
I would just out right tell him that I would not be going and he can say what he likes but I'm not having my unborn baby breathing in that crap! I think ur suggestion for meeting up is a very good idea and don't understand why he's being so naive

 

[floatingbaby]

You are being a GREAT mum by putting your health and your baby's health first. I would also refuse to go, but make a date out of it and a safe (non smoking) location. You are doing the right thing!