Miscarriage when didn't know I was pregnant

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by Sugababy, Oct 22, 2008.

  1. Sugababy

    Sugababy Member

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    I am 20 years old and on the Yasmin birth control pill. I started aching quite badly in my lower adomen and then on Monday started bleeding very very heavily with what can only be described as clots and tissue like I have never seen before so I went to the doctor who made me do a urine test for infection which came out negative and then pregnancy which came out positive. But as the bleeding and cramps were heavy and bad he said I was miscarrying. Im still bleeding very heavily and the cramps have got worse since the beginning of the week.

    I was in a state of shock at the doctors that I had even been pregnant anyway so didnt ask a lot of questions. I am very very very emotional, Im not sure people I have told understand why Im emotional as a baby wasnt exactly something I had planned to have anyway and it was not like me and my boyfriend were trying or anywhere ready to have a child but I feel really really down about it I cant seem to think about anything else I feel really miserable, I know this may be hormones playing a part too but I feel a real sense of loss even though I didnt know I was pregnant or want to get pregnant. Please could someone tell me if this is a normal feeling?? I feel like people just don't think I should be so upset because I didn't 'want' a baby as it were.

    Also the cramping and bleeding, how long will this last? The doctor said it could be a couple of weeks or more, the cramping sometimes hurts a lot.

    Sorry to waffle on, any help would be much appreciated.

    Thank you
    x
     
  2. Sovereign

    Sovereign Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: I'm sorry for your loss hun. Sorry, I have no advice but i'm sure some of the others will be able to answer your questions for you. x
     
  3. moomoo

    moomoo Mumma to 2 & 1 in heaven!

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    Im sorry you have had to go through this, i too fell pregnant on yasmin..and unfortunately lost our baby at 10 weeks...i can completely understand how you feel, we werent planning..and sometimes i think maybe the baby knew it would be hard for us. I think its got a lot to do with hormones (they have alot to answer for! :hissy: )

    I only had cramping for a day, but it was more like contractions than cramping...after that the bleeding lasted for a few more days.

    You will probably scheduled for an u/s so they can check for infection ect. I think my bleeding, from start to no blood was about 2 weeks (ish) but only those bad contractions for 1 day and no other pain than that.

    I would suggest a hot water bottle and some ibroprofen..maybe you and your other half could consider ttc in the future? Xx :hugs:
     
  4. Sugababy

    Sugababy Member

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    Thank you very much for your replies. Its very helpful, I was starting to think I was going a bit mad. Im supposed to be going into work tomorrow I found out I was miscarrying on Tues (but started on Monday, just didnt realise) and Im such an emotional wreck I really dont think I can face it, I have quite a stressful job at the best of times so think taking the rest of the week off to sort myself out and get my head around all this.


    My boyfriend has been great and is doing everything he can to help me. I have come to the conclusion he isn't grieving this at all though and he is just worried about me. I spoke to him about it just now and he said that if we had known we were having a baby and had time to get used to it then he would be upset but as we found out on the day I miscarried hes not too sad about it because its something 'we never had'. I think this is how a lot of people expect me to feel too which is why the people I have told are expecting me not to grieving this so much, but I think I would feel the exact amount of miserable I am feeling now if I had known before that we were pregnant.

    Sorry Im waffling again, its just nice to let all my feelings out!!

    Thank you again
    x
     
  5. moomoo

    moomoo Mumma to 2 & 1 in heaven!

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    They say: when a woman becomes pregnant she becomes a mother, and a man doesnt become a father until the baby is in his arms...its so true. Plus men tend to grieve in different ways to us girlies!! :hissy:

    Ask your dr to sign you off, try and speak to a woman doctor.. try and get some time off to get your head around things. xx
     
  6. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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    Sorry for your loss. :hug:
     
  7. tillymum

    tillymum New mom

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    Sorry for your loss, I'm convinced something changes in a woman as soon as she becomes pregnant, and the feeling of loss is totally natural along with the distress and worry while miscarrying. Take each day as it comes and look after yourself :hug:
     
  8. Kevsgal

    Kevsgal Mother of one

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    I totally agree with Tillymum. Everything changes. Call it hormones or maternal instinct, this was your child, no matter how long for. You don't need to meet your child to love it.
    I'm so sorry for your loss hun. And don't be too hard on your bf, men do grieve differently. My bf and I didn't get upset til over a day after our m/c as it took that long for the reality of the event to hit us.

    :hug: for you and your partner xxx
     
  9. Jodie__x

    Jodie__x Mummy 2 a 10mnth 24weeker

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    I'm sorry for your loss ! I don't know how anyone can not understand why you are upset. at the end of the day it may not have been a planned baby , but it was yours all the same. and you where never given the choice whether you wanted to keep your baby. Keep your chin up x
     
  10. ashrxxx

    ashrxxx Pregnant with a miracle x

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    Oh honey i am so sorry for your loss, the bleeding will last different to every female, when i mc i had bledding for the lengh of a period, the pains do subside honey, its your uterus contracting to make sure it expells all the tissue so you don't get an infection.

    Take time to recover and talk when you WANT to, dont feel forced to talk if you do not want to, take time to chill out to, all my love Ash xxx


    Ps i fell pregnant with DS2 on YASMIN 6 years ago, and i noticed another lady who has posted fell PG on YASMIN-strange!
     
  11. Waiting2bMommy

    Waiting2bMommy Levi and Jax's Mommy!

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  12. Sugababy

    Sugababy Member

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    Thank you everyone for replies, much appreciated. If it wasn't for this forum I would have found this so much harder so thank you.

    Its worrying there is 3 of us in this thread who got pregnant on Yasmin. Definately lost my faith in it!

    xx
     
  13. hannah88

    hannah88 Member

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    I am the exact same situation, i'm 21 yers old and i didn't realise i was pregnant until the day i found out i had a miscarriage.
    I've been feeling really ill for a couple of months and just put it down to bugs going around. On Thursday i started having a browny colour discharge but just thought it was my period which was on time, by saturday i started to get cramps at 5am sunday morning i woke up in agony from severe stomache pains in my lower stomache, i was in sooo much pain and couldn't stop myself from being sick, i tried to take pain killers but as soon as they touched my lips i had to reach for the toilet i was in constant contraction pains until 8pm guessing my body thought i was in labour?? i was bleeding alot and thought i had the sickness bug! at 1am on monday i went to the toilet and i felt something come out of me! i completely freaked out i knew what it was but was in denial, i don't know why buti had to get it out of the toilet. i kept it in a tub next to me i told my sister and mum the next day and they told me to go to the dotors, where it confirmed i was pregnant! and had a miscarriage i couldnt stop myself from crying i didnt tell anyone till later on. I went to hospital on the tuesday to confirm it and they took my tub away from me. I didnt want a baby but i am so hurt, i returned to work the next day and have now been at work for 2days i feel exausted and drained. Maybe i shouldnt have gone to work? I dont no if i am able to take time off now tho? I was on the ovrenette pill when i fell pregnant! My boyfriend just doesnt understand he seems to think of it as a relief that he doesnt have a baby, im so confused maybe he just isn't for me? i just want to fade away.
     
  14. LeaArr

    LeaArr Just him and me.

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  15. toby2

    toby2 Mum of 1,expecting #2

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    this must be so hard for you both-i found it a huge shock and i knew i was pregnant-big hugs to you both
    xxxx
     
  16. chardonnay

    chardonnay New Member

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    My situation is similar to yours. I am 20 also, and I was not trying to get pregnant. In fact, I didnt know i was pregnant until i miscarried. When my period was late i took a pregnancy test which came out negative, but this happened cuz the baby had already died. I had horrible cramps and the placenta came out during my period. I am so sad. I didnt try to get pregnant but i feel that if i had already conceived, then i would rather have my baby than miscarry it. my boyfriend is trying to be supportive but i dont think he understands why I'm still crying. Im not ready for a baby, but i also wasnt ready to lose one.

    Im sorry for your loss. best wishes.
     
  17. AP

    AP Well-Known Member
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    very true
    words :hugs:
     
  18. Sparklestar

    Sparklestar Mommy to Keigan

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    I'm sorry for your loss :hugs: xxx
     
  19. jrsbaby06

    jrsbaby06 New Member

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    I had the same thing happen to me. Im 21 years and back in April for about a week I was feeling sick, I had really horrible cramps in my stomach, and this feeling tha someone had severly punched me in the stomach. Im a chef and was in the middle of cooking for 4000 people and we didnt really have time to take a break to sit down. The cramps was getting worse to the point I couldnt stand and my boss saw and sent me to the break room to relax. I had went to the restroom and i was bleeding so i figured it was my period.Well that friday i woke up and i was soaked in blood and went straight to the hospital. They did a blood test found out I was pregnant and i bursted in tears because i knew when they said it was postitive that i was miscarring. I was so depressed and for weeks after and kept blaming myself saying how did i not know that i was pregnant so I thought it was my fault that i had a miscarriage and my boyfriend was so emotional over and felt so bad that i had to go threw it without him because he was out of town for work.

    But even if you didnt want the pregnacy at the time, finding out that there was a life in there can make anyone emotional over it.
     
  20. aggiepup05

    aggiepup05 Mummy to one angel

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    Hey hun I know EXACTLY how you feel! I lost a baby when I didn't know I was pregnant 2 months ago. I'm 18 and not ready to have one ither but all I want now is my baby back. It is normal because you have lost someone and you should take the time ti grieve. This baby was a part of you and it's more than ok to feel sad. The cramping for me lasted a week and stopped when the bleeding stopped. Though I still get the odd mild cramp even now. Your hormones can take up to 6 months to reset so expect a real emotional rollercoaster but we're all here to support you through this very sad time.

    I'm very very sorry for your loss xxxx
     

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