Missed miscarriage at 12 week scan

[Spudtastic]

I was worried about anesthetic but my booklet said the risks were very low especially for a fit and healthy person.

 

[bernie86]

yeah for me the only con of the D&C was really the cost... my insurance didn't cover the full procedure, but my husband and I decided that money is just money when it comes to loosing your baby. Neither of us wanted to go through the additional emotional grief that can be associated with passing the baby at home, and then the possibility of still needing the D&C. any way you go through this is awful

 

[SarahP13]

Oh you poor ladies. I am so sorry that you're all going through this.

I have been remembering my first LO today as a friend miscarried yesterday. My baby stopped growing at 8 wks but I found out at my scan when I was 12 wks 6 days. Having passed the 12 week stage we had begun to tell people and start making plans. I had normal pregnancy symptoms and absolutely no warning of what had happened. I had a d&c two days after my scan and would make that same decision if I was ever in that situation again. It is a horrible, heartbreaking time and my heart goes out to all of you who are experiencing it.

I was terrified that I may never have a healthy baby but I now have two beautiful girls. I still think of my lost one but time really does help, if it hadn't happened then I may not have had the two I have now and that's something I can't contemplate.

Just take each day at a time and allow yourself to grieve. Hugs to you all x

 

[jaspie]

I spent the morning phoning the early pregnancy unit on the number provided on my appointment card and there was no answer and no answerphone, just endless ringing. It was really stressful and upsetting nobody seemed to be there. I phoned other numbers i found online even the main hospital switchboard and still nothing. We got dressed and were about to drive up there when OH found another number I could try which finally got through to someone. I asked if there was any way my appointment could be moved forward due to me being 100% confident in our dates that no good news would come from a 2nd scan and the waiting is just torture. She was sympathetic but as it is hospital policy there was no way and i def have to wait a week. So i asked if i could book my erpc for the same day as my scan and she said they'll be able to get me in quickly after that appointment so that's something I guess.

Sarah thanks for your post, it made me feel hope that one day we'll have children too. It feels so hopeless atm but i know in my sensible head that most women do go onto have healthy babies even though it seems impossible at the moment. That horrible scan has taken it away and put a horrible memory there, I feel like I'll never see a healthy baby on the screen. It's good to be reminded it can happen after this awful time.

 

[jaspie]

One of my best friends sent us brownies today. So lovely. My bro and dad sent me a lovely message and my mum's been calling me every day. And OH has just been amazing I'm so grateful for him, he's my rock. This situation is dark and horrible but we're very lucky to have such wonderful people around us.

 

[mummy3ds]

Hi there
I have just been trough this for the 2nd time. The 1st time I spotted had a scan and told baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks, had to wait a week then had a d&c the day after.
This time I started spotting, had a scan same thing, sent away due back tues just gone, but I then naturally miscarried on Monday and haemorrhaged I have been really ill and can honestly say I blame hospital policy as I could have died. I have had it explained to me that where there is a chance even if we are sure of our dates and we still say we want a d&c we would then be asking the surgeon who performed the d&c to go against medical advice.
My advise to you is if you do start bleeding and it is heavy go straight in do not wait xxx

 

[jaspie]

I'm so sorry mommy3ds. That sounds so traumatic and terrifying. Its so unfair to make us wait and can be dangerous as shown with you. I'm scared everyday its going to start but nothing yet. 3 days until my 2nd scan. Dreading it. Hope the erpc isn't long after. I feel so detached atm.

 

[nugget80]

Jaspie... the waiting is terrible. I had a private scan at 7 weeks which showed an empty sac. I had follow up scan at epu 10 days later same story but sac had grown 5mm. However epu disregarded private scan saying they couldn't use it as not done by them! Even ythough I begged and cried I still had to wait another 7 days fot final scan as policy dictates. After final scan was able to have erpc following day (but I left an extra day to prepare myself). Policy sucks even though I understand it but no idea why they don't accept reports from private scans. Just prolongs the agony... x

 

[jaspie]

Nugget that is ridiculous! A scan is a scan private or not! Ugh. I have been kicking myself a bit as i did have a private scan booked for 8w4d and as the baby didn't develop past 8w i think I would've been told there was no heartbeat then and could have avoided waiting this extra 4 weeks to be told at the dating scan. I cancelled the private scan though as i thought I was just being silly and worrying for no reason. Sigh. Looks like I still would've been in for a long wait regardless though...Policy is a bitch. Hope you can start to heal now xx

 

[nugget80]

You would think. After all the machinery and technology is the same. Dh and I both expressed disgust at this and doctor said it would be put in notes that I can be scanned early in future at epu no questions. This will also go in discharge letter to gp so if I am lucky enough to get another bfp then I can just request an early scan...

 

[mummy3ds]

I was told I can be refered for repeated miscarriage based on my age, so I'm going to the bp next week a) for a blood test as I lost so much blood and b) to get my referal . I know I may not get some answers but if we do decide to go again which right now isn't going to happen at least. Will be under EPU and be scanned at 6.5 weeks and can be put on baby aspirin and I'm sure they said something else too.
With my D&c I had it the day after my 2 nd scan, I felt I'd heeled better, emotionally I don't think anyway is easier, we have still lost our babies xxx

 

[jaspie]

The rescan went ok. It was nice that she called it a baby and not a fetal pole or a pregnancy like they did at my first scan. I saw it on screen this time which calmed me down. I was in tears when I arrived at the hospital and then again while getting undressed for the scan and I wasn't sure if I wanted to see the baby but I'm glad now i did. The placenta and sac were the right size it looked massive on screen and I'm glad I'm having the surgery rather than passing it all. No wonder I'm still having symptoms with that inside me.

I took a form to a different bit of the hospital and had a pre op assessment and was talked though the anaesthetic. Then they said they'd call me either today or tomorrow to let me know when i was booked in for. I'm marked as urgent so should be in next few days. So now we wait. Again. But at least the next time I go into hospital i will be leaving with it all over.

Called my boss he was really nice about everything and told me to take as much time as I need which is a weight off my mind.

 

[onetubeleft]

Hi all, I have come to share my story. It is a little long winded, so please stay with me.


So found out I was pregnant at 5weeks
I knew I'd implanted late so my scans wernt going to match up
I went for an early scan at 5weeks (previously lost a tube to an ectopic so doctor wanted to make sure) baby was measuring at 4weeks just a 5mm sac was found
Then at 6 weeks I went back and told I had a blighted ovulum. The sac was 20mm but nothing in it,
I went back 10 days later. And there was my little bean measuring 7w+1d
Over the moon. ( we were told it was unheard of and we had a miracle on our hands.

We had our 12 week dating scan at a different hospital. Based on the 7week scan we would have only been 10 weeks anyway As soon as baby came up on screen we knew something was wrong. Baby was no where near the size we would have expected to see. No hb found and measuring 6weeks (smaller than our previous scan?)
I switched off and just looked at my partner. He was completly broken.

Sent to the relatives room and spoke to the midwife about our options. I chose d&c I just wanted everything over and done with. But I requested another scan, which after a lot of resistance I got. Saw the same as before but I had to be sure. They booked me in for next week. (I was not happy) I didn't want to prolong the situation. The way I saw it was everyone had started mourning the loss especially my partner but I couldnt. I was still carrying it around with me.


So I called my doctor. Said i didn't want to misscarry. He was lovely and tried everything he could to put it through as an emergency, but they wouldn't allow it.

So he rang another hospital. They have agreed to do the d&c tomorrow. But will need to rescan so they can confirm on their records. I am a little bit nervous. But once it's all done with I can start to heal and mourn the loss of my beautiful babe. I can't do that while they're still here. Where's the humanity in that? I don't think im being selfish by wanting it over and done with quickly. Am I?
I would love some experiences or just someone to talk to, We've all got to stick together through these difficult times. As I don't know anyone who has been through this. So hopefully I'll feel less alone x

 

[hopie2015]

Jaspie - I am glad you are on the urgent list and they will fit you in ASAP. Also glad you have good support from your boss. I know what you mean by still having the symptoms. Now, almost a day after, I finally no longer really feel them. Take it from me, I was beyond petrified going in..There is nothing to be afraid of. Physically you are going to be fine, it is over before you know it, and emotionally this lets us begin our healing journey. Everyone there will take such good care of you. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best~

 

[jaspie]

Sorry for your loss onetube. I know exactly how you feel, I've been waiting a week since my scan and am still waiting now for my erpc appointment which should hopefully be in the next few days. It's certainly not selfish to want it over and done with asap, i do too. We can't start to grieve and heal with our babies still inside us. I'm glad you got your d&c booked for tomorrow and I hope everything goes well. Hugs to you and you're not alone xx

 

[hopie2015]

One- I am so sorry for your loss. What we are going through is truly one of the worst and hardest experiences in life.
My gosh no, you are not at all being selfish for wanting it done and over with quickly. This is what is needed for your physical and mental health.
I had to wait almost a week for the d and c since I found out the baby was lost, it was excruciating.

I didn't know anyone who had been through this either, so this board is a godsend to us all. keep posting and know lots of thoughts and well wishes are with you. Please take care and best of luck. All is going to end up being fine.

 

[Leann83]

Onetube I'm so so sorry that you're here with us. We were in Decembers little darlings together. You're by no means selfish wanting it over with. Personally, I felt that there was no way I could even come to terms with things, let alone start to move on whilst my LO was still in there.

As one of the doctors said to me, it's not so much about the physical recovery as the emotional/mental side of things. It's so hard but also comforting knowing there's others here who know what you're going through. We're here if you need to talk

 

[onetubeleft]

I've started to cramp and bleed. I hope it holds out till my op. I can't bear the thought that I may pass baby in the toilet through the night. Just gonna try and sleep and hope for the best. I will keep you updated.

Leanne I remember sweetheart. How are you?

How are you all?
Tell me your stories.
Will you try? If so, when?


I'm so glad I found this thread xxx

 

[mummy3ds]

Hi one tube
I totally understand how you feel and you are not being selfish.
I have had 2 mmc in 4 months, the 1st one I had a d&c as it is controlled and physically I got over it very quickly, mentally I don't think ill ever get there.
This time, I had my scan as I was spotting, told to wait a week which I to,d them I didn't want to, but no choice there! So due to go back last tues but on Monday I haemorrhaged and almost died.
If you do start to bleed if it gets heavy (the blood was pouring out of me like wee) take yourself to a&e. I don't want to scare anyone I just don't want anyone to go through what I've been through xx
I am a mess if I'm honest, told dh I don't want anymore, which isn't true but I'm terrified xx

 

[onetubeleft]

Awww mummy 😥💜 well Ive Been booked for surgery. (It was suppose to be today so I could have stood a chance) Provisionally now for tomorrow. That's if they have a bed. I'm actually fuming. I'm already bleeding. It's getting heavier. And I'm in real pain now. Knowing my luck It will be all over and done with by morning at this rate 😡 I'm so scared I'm gna wake up in a pool of blood 😣🙇👎 hate this. Starting to feel like 'why me?'