missed miscarriage

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by tallualh, Oct 21, 2008.

  1. tallualh

    tallualh New Member

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    hi, i recently suffered a miscarriage back in june this year and i am posting this now as when i discovered in my 12 week scan that my baby had died at 10 weeks i trawlled through the internet to find some answers to my questions, even though i am a midwife i still wanted answers. So, i write this now in the hope that i can be of help to someone someday.

    I found out that i had had a missed miscarriage during a routine scan at 11 weeks. I had had a slight bleed on the sunday and so went to my gp the next day, the sonagrapher then told me that unfortunately she could not find a heart beat and that the baby dated at 9 +3 days. i was given teh 3 options that i am sure you are aware of but decied to opt for the conservative option as i was already bleeding and wanted to let nature take its course, i really didnt feel i could face a d&c.

    this was on the monday, and each day i was monitioring the loss of blood. Wednesday night at approx 11pm i could feel what was teh start of the miscarriage starting - exactly the same as the start of early labour (it is infact the cervix dilating). by 5.30 am i had passed the fetus and had been in tremendous pain - it is terrible pain and looking back i think it would have been best to have gone into hospital and had the pessere as they can give you more for the pain relief - however, i did feel that the privacy of your own home is a far greater benefit for you, and if all else fails you can always phone for and ambulance. as i was in such great pain, i phoned the gyaeny ward that gave me the options on the monday and they recommeded to ring the emergency doctor, which i did.

    following this, i had an appointment the next day with the sanographer and it did show that the fetus had passed but there was a little remainign so i had a follow up appointment a week later and luckily it did show that my uterus had cleared itself of the fetus.

    in retrospect, i look back now and realise how brave i was to go down the conservative option, and it is still the option that i would do again, although i pray to god that i never have to go through such a terrible experience again. i just hope that my story is of help to someone somewhere.
     
  2. Kevsgal

    Kevsgal Mother of one

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    So sorry for your loss hun xxx :hug:
     
  3. Waiting2bMommy

    Waiting2bMommy Levi and Jax's Mommy!

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    So sorry for your loss.
     
  4. Misselle44

    Misselle44 Well-Known Member

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    I had a similar experience and I chose the same option. It was painful and horrible, but I agree that it would have been even worse had I done the d and c.
     
  5. moomoo

    moomoo Mumma to 2 & 1 in heaven!

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    hi, i'm so sorry for your loss..i had nearly exactly the same expereince although i didnt choose to pass naturally, i had no choice...i was confused and didnt know what was happenening...and was getting contractions every 30 secs...the doctors wouldnt tell me what was going on..although they gave me gas and air..so they knew it was painful for me!!! I think you are very brave, anyone who has to go through that is incredibly brave. xxx
     
  6. cybermum

    cybermum MUM TO 2 BOYS.

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    I am so sorry for your loss (((hugs)))
    I know how much it hurts,when I had a m/c I had the D&C,I was in a daze almost and just followed Dr's advice as he said it would be very sore.

    So sorry xxx
     
  7. Stardancer

    Stardancer Well-Known Member

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  8. Dizzy321

    Dizzy321 very proud mammy to 3!

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    So sorry for your loss, that happened to me, went for 12 week scan and babys heart stopped beating at 9 weeks, i opted for a d+c not nice at all x
     
  9. Loo

    Loo Mum of 2 and one on way

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  10. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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  11. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    So sorry for your loss :( XX
     
  12. chrissie33

    chrissie33 Mummy to two monkeys

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    Hi there, it is a horrible thing to happen but I believe you were absolutely right. I had a mmc on #1 and did try to do the wait for it to happen naturally and unfortunately as it hadnt happened 5 weeks later I had the first stage of medical management as couldnt face D&C - I was fortunate (if you can call it that) to not need to go in to hospital to have the pessary as I mc at home the night before having to go in. On #3 I did have to go in to have the pessary and whilst the pain was horrible, the worst part for me was being kept in the hospital - I so desperately wanted to come home and be comfortable... my point (when I actually get to it) is that I think if you have already started bleeding, staying at home and monitoring it is far better as the pain seems so much worse when you are in the unfamiliar surroundings of the hospital..

    Hopefully none of us will have to worry about this again xxx
     
  13. zoehamp

    zoehamp mutha of 2 and pregnant

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    hiya sorry for your loss, the same hing happened to me had slight bleedin on the thursday and again on saturday, i phned midwife up and she put it down to havin sex, but on the monday which was 29th 0f sept my 12week scan they couldnt find heart beat, they told me it had stopped growin at 9wks 2days. i opted for erpc because knowin that my poor lil one had already been inside me for 3 weeks with out heart not beatin, i couldnt stand to carry him/her around. i know that sounds nasty but at the end it was my child and knowin that your child died inside you make you feel like you let your baby down. i think it does depend on the person, i know i wasnt strong enough to do what you did, i knew i wouldnt been able to cope. but im happy that you made the right choice for yourself. If you havnt thought i shouldnt have done it like that then i know for certain tht you made right choice 100%. coz you go tno regret if you think that. well many wishes for the future and tack care hunni. x x x
     
  14. mjbazz

    mjbazz Well-Known Member

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    hi there i went through the same pain as you i found ou i lost my baby at 7 wks 4days and i was 12wks pregnant, :cry: i only had a few period type apins on the wensday nite but on the thurs mornin the pain was so bad i cudnt move i was white as a ghost i was sick and shaking, ive never had a baby before this ws my first one and i passed the baby :cry: as i was on the phone to the midwife in the emergency room i felt a pop and my waters had broken :cry: after that i passed some more and then the pain subsided im bleeding just like a heavy period now and although it was ok to have a natural way i would not want to go through that ever again at the min i cant stop crying
    sorry for your loss
    x x x:hug:
     
  15. srm0421

    srm0421 Mom & PG

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    I just wrote on another thread titled missed MC and i had one in July of 2005. I tried to go down the natural path but was told that after 4 weeks of demise if nothing had started then you run a risk for infection. I found out at 11 weeks and my baby had passed at 8w 6d and waiting a week and a half but nothing happened so I went in for a D&C. I was scared but it really did help me be able to move on and get the hormones out of my system so I could deal with my grief without added hormones. I wish everyone luck who suffers a MC and to still have hope for the future. 4 months later i was pregnant with my now 2 year old son who was born happy and healthy with no complications. I do not know why these things happen but for me I like to believe that there is a reason.
     

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