missed miscarriage

[chanel]

DH and I discovered at the 12wk scan on the 30thOct that the fetous stopped growing at 7wks. Although my pregnancy symptoms (nausea & tiredness) had reduced a lot I simply thought that maybe as I was coming to the end of the 1st trimester that this was normal. I had no bleeding or any other reason to believe that anything was wrong and was really excited at the prospect of seeing a little baby on the scan. The sonographer asked if i was sure of my dates which i was to which she then replied that she was sorry but the pregnancy had stopped at 7wks. There was a tiny little bean on the screen but no heartbeat . Going into the scan it is at the back of your mind that this is a possibility but you don't really think 'that' will happen to you.

After seeing one of the midwifes and having the options explained we came home. After having a search through the internet i have decided to have an ERPC, I can't see me m/c naturally now and dont think i could face taking the tablets and waiting for it to happen. So i phoned on the thursday afternoon to book the ERPC but there were no appts left for Friday so i need to now wait for monday.

The time is passing so slowly, my emotions are all over the place.. a million things are running through my head and i can't seem to slow my brain down.

Right now i want this to be over so we can move on and try again which makes me feel guilty. I shouldn't want to forget the little one that we should have been having in May. I think trying to focus on ttc again stops me thinking too much about the one we have just lost and stop thinking about what we should have seen on thursdays scan. I know that this has happened for a reason and that at least it happened early on but this isn't really making me feel any better.

I knew that conceiving a honeymoon baby on the first month of trying was just too good to be true and it seems it was. I can't help thinkin this conception was a fluke and we wont be so lucky when ttc the next time which i think maybe is the reason that i want to start ttc asap.

This forum is full of successful stories following miscarriage which is giving me some hope at the moment.

 

[tillymum]

Sorry to hear of your loss, and welcome to B&B. I found great support from the girls on this forum helped me get through the weeks and months after my mmc.

This happened to me too in May no heartbeat when I went for my 13wk scan. I too opted for an ERPC which went well.

It's totally normal for your emotions to be all over the place, and it does get easier, just give yourself time to grieve.

Thinking of you

 

[sam76]

Im sorry for your loss, im going through the same at present, i had a m/c in Feb and that was my honeymoon baby, sadly it wasnt ment to be, and on thursday i went back for my 2nd early scan and there was no heartbeat, 8 weeks i was. Im going in on monday to be put asleep like yourself, very scared and im so upset, im thinking why me, this is my 2nd m/c and i feel hopeless and lost, im here if you need to talk, all i am doing is crying all the time.

 

[chanel]

Thanks Girls, I am very sorry for your losses too. It's very sad that so many of us are going through the same thing. You never really hear ppl speak about early miscarriages so just expect things to go well and when they don't it feels like the end of the world.

Did you both decide to give it some time before ttc again? Providing there are no complications on monday, at the moment i feel like i can't wait. Maybe this is my way of coping with what has happened, does this make me a bad person!?!

 

[becky77]

I know exactly what you are going through i found out at my 10 week scan the baby was only measuring 7 weeks ,but had to go 9 days later just to make sure, but the night before i started to bleed anyway that was on wed i have still not passed anything though so am gonna phone dr monday.
i am so sorry for your loss and if thinking of ttc is helping you to cope with this awful thing then you go for it sending you lots of
pm me if you need to chat.

 

[srm0421]

Hello, I am sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing in July of 2005. I found out I was pregnant in the end of May and went to the Drs. that day. My HCg levels were very high and everything looked good. I had an US and it showed a little tiny bean of a baby. Everything was great. I went for my 11 week check up so that I could hear the HB but they could not find it. The Drs sent me to get an US and my baby was only 23 cm and there was no HB or movement. I had lost the baby at 8w6d but my body thought I was still PG. i refused to believe it and took a HPT which said Positive so I thought that everything had to be ok and maybe the machines were wrong. I was given the choice to wait it out or have a D&C. I was scared to get put under so tried to wait it out. My drs said that I could not wait more than 4 weeks after fetal demise because of a risk of infection which meant I only had 2 weeks to wait or risk an infection. I waited for a week and a half and only started spotting brown so I went in for a D&C. The procedure was not bad and very helpful in helping me be able to deal with my grief. It is hard to accept what has happened when you still have your baby. 4 months later I found out I was pregnant and am happy to say I have a happy and healthy 2 year old son who helped me get through when the due date was for my missed MC because I was already PG. I wish you luck and hope the procedure is relatively easy for you. I wish you luck in the future and keep your faith that the next time things will turn out ok. I refused to believe that everything would be ok and when I was 12 weeks and my son was still ok then it hit me but before that I did not accept anytihng fully and missed out on the beginning happiness. I wrote a poem when i had my missed MC.

I carry you inside me still,
and wish that I knew why.
Cuz every time I reach for you,
all I do is cry.
For you are gone,
away from me.
You left awhile ago.
The pain I feel inside my heart,
is for the love you'll never know.
My dear sweet baby; oh child of mine,
Why did you go away?
I want you back; I need you so,
Why couldn't you just stay?
Was it something I had done?
or you weren't meant to be?
I wish i knew the answer why,
Because confusions killing me.
You'll be forever in my heart,
This I know is true.
And when I go to bed at night,
I'll always think of you.

Good luck and take care.

 

[srm0421]

I know exactly what you are going through i found out at my 10 week scan the baby was only measuring 7 weeks ,but had to go 9 days later just to make sure, but the night before i started to bleed anyway that was on wed i have still not passed anything though so am gonna phone dr monday.
i am so sorry for your loss and if thinking of ttc is helping you to cope with this awful thing then you go for it sending you lots of
pm me if you need to chat.

Becky, I am so sorry for your loss too. Take care and just take it one day at a time until you can face longer. Good luck.

 

[Barneyboo]

So very sorry for your loss x x x

 

[srm0421]

Im sorry for your loss, im going through the same at present, i had a m/c in Feb and that was my honeymoon baby, sadly it wasnt ment to be, and on thursday i went back for my 2nd early scan and there was no heartbeat, 8 weeks i was. Im going in on monday to be put asleep like yourself, very scared and im so upset, im thinking why me, this is my 2nd m/c and i feel hopeless and lost, im here if you need to talk, all i am doing is crying all the time.

I was very scared too but it honestly helped me be able to move on and it was not as scary as I had imagined. I will warn you though that you can be emotional because of the medication and the situation. I felt empty inside but was prepared for that and it allowed me to take the next step to recovery. Good luck and bring someone who can help you emotionally through the situation.

If anyone has any questions or needs to talk I am here.

 

[tillymum]

Thanks Girls, I am very sorry for your losses too. It's very sad that so many of us are going through the same thing. You never really hear ppl speak about early miscarriages so just expect things to go well and when they don't it feels like the end of the world.

Did you both decide to give it some time before ttc again? Providing there are no complications on monday, at the moment i feel like i can't wait. Maybe this is my way of coping with what has happened, does this make me a bad person!?!

It's totally natural to want to TTC again immediately. Most Doctors recommend to wait for at least on AF before you try again, this is both for dating purposes and to give your body time to recover and for you to recover emotionally.
Be prepared for you cycle to be out of sync for a few months, mine took nearly 7 weeks to arrive after my ERPC, generallly it takes anywhere between 4 and 8 weeks that is why it is difficult to date a new pregnancy if you try before your 1st AF.
Do what is right for you, only you will know what feels right and when you feel ready again. Good luck with your ERPC you'll find it gets easier once it's over

 

[Visqueen]

Im so sorry for your loss this happened to me in April we went for our scan and the baby had died at 9wk 6days and i had a d&c a day later.

Im am really sorry, I know just how your feeling.

Hope things go as well as possible for you, look after yourself

 

[todteach]

Just needed to give you a great big . I am so sorry that you are going through this. It just tears me up inside to see others that have had losses. You're right, you rarely hear of miscarriages, although they are extremely common. After mine, it was like people started coming out of the woodwork. If you need a shoulder to cry on, please let us know. We've been there hun. Please take care of yourself and your husband.

 

[stressederic]

I just wanted to send you some I had a mmc in Sept, was 9 weeks... long story, I had an ERPC on Sept 4th, the actual procedure was okay went home a few hours later and only lightly bled for 2 days. Emotionally I felt a wreck I cried and cried,didn't want to see anyone and didn't go outside the door for a week. Had my first AF 30 days later which was okay (I felt this was my 1st hurdle..felt this would be the reality kick in the teeth that it was all over) but I actually felt okay and that I could move on, I bought some cheapie OPK's off ebay and tried to follow sperm meets egg plan...I felt I couldn't bear the thought of not being preg by due date (this might seem heartless to my loss) anyhow have just had positive CBDigi test so there is hope! But then the opposite is I am now a wreck waiting for it to all go wrong again


Not sure if any help or just a ramble, but I know how you feel and it does get better

 

[Waiting2bMommy]

So sorry for your loss

 

[chanel]

I just wanted to send you some I had a mmc in Sept, was 9 weeks... long story, I had an ERPC on Sept 4th, the actual procedure was okay went home a few hours later and only lightly bled for 2 days. Emotionally I felt a wreck I cried and cried,didn't want to see anyone and didn't go outside the door for a week. Had my first AF 30 days later which was okay (I felt this was my 1st hurdle..felt this would be the reality kick in the teeth that it was all over) but I actually felt okay and that I could move on, I bought some cheapie OPK's off ebay and tried to follow sperm meets egg plan...I felt I couldn't bear the thought of not being preg by due date (this might seem heartless to my loss) anyhow have just had positive CBDigi test so there is hope! But then the opposite is I am now a wreck waiting for it to all go wrong again


Not sure if any help or just a ramble, but I know how you feel and it does get better

Sorry for loss, you don't sound heartless at all, at least i hope you don't cause that's exacly how i'm feeling. Congratulations on your , I'm sure this time it will all go well.. think positive, although i think i will feel exactly the same if i'm lucky enough to get pregnant again.
Thanks for posting, gives me hope that things will get better.

Take care of yourself x

 

[Dona]

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a m/c in April and I felt as if my world had come to an end. I was 8 weeks. It does get better, trust me. I started to try again right away and 4 months later - 2 cycles later, I fell again. I had my 13 week scan on Friday which was on my actual due date for the baby I had lost. It was an emotional day. Maybe go and speak to someone, I know it helped me. My only word of advice is you must grieve and never forget.

Take care and if you need a chat just PM me.

 

[Drazic<3]

Im so sorry for your loss.
hope you get your soon sweetheart

 

[SJK]

Im so sorry for your loss, this happened to me in Aug, it will get easier xxx

 

[Brockie]

Sorry for your loss hon, its a very difficult thing to get your head around. like you we went for our first scan back in Feb this year, and things had stopped at 8 weeks, i opted for ERPC too and am glad i did, was in no pain and had no bleeding after, tho everyone is different x we decided straight away to try again, and there is nothing wrong with that you must not feel guilty x

i had 1 AF and fell again, baby due December xx try to remember something was not quite right with that pregnancy, the body is an amazing thing and takes care of it for you, next time im sure all will be just fine xxx

take time to recover and do what you and your OH feel is right xxx best of luck to you and dont be scared of the op, mine was over so quick and i felt i could start to move on

 

[Flossie03]

I'm so sorry for your loss But like the other ladies have said it is normal for your emotions to be all over the place and ttc is something for you to focus on at this difficult time, you shouldn't feel bad about that. I miscarried 2 weeks ago and in the back of my mind is trying again, I also have the same fears as you that it won't be so easy to get pregnant but there are so many success stories you have to try and remember those, good luck and take care of yourself xx