missed so much with emcs

[TheSmpsns]

I feel like I was gyped out of certain parts of the birth. I did get to experience labor, but I was put under general anesthesia and I didn't get to see him after he was born (not for six hours), didn't get to hear that first scream. Dh didn't get to be in the room. Just sucks. Anyone else miss the first moments with lo?

 

[lilbecksxx]

I totally sympathize! I also had an emcs - I just had a spinal block in. It was very traumatic for me - I'm very small framed & my son had managed to twist himself into a weird position so they really had to tug hard. I heard his first scream, but then they put me under because I was freaking out so much.

I am also very sad that I never got to hold him or even look at him until an hour later

 

[Liesje]

I think overtime you start to forget because the gaps left by what you missed get filled with memories of all the awesome things they do after.
My son is only 5 months old but I already consider his birth a distant memory. He's at the point now where he's doing so many new things I can hardly keep up

 

[WishfulX1]

I know how you feel, I got a general too although I never saw my baby for 2days as was too ill finally starting to get over it now tho but was very upsetting at first x

 

[katy1310]

I totally feel like I missed out on so much. I didn't get to see Sophie until she was 21 hours old, and didn't get to hold her till 3 weeks old - and she was in NICU for 12 weeks so I feel as if I missed out on so so much.

She's now two and a half, and while it still hurts if I let myself think about it too much, other memories have taken over and it has definitely faded. We have built up so many amazing memories now, and Sophie and I are so close, I feel so much better about everything. I did end up having counselling and I'm still on anti depressants but hoping to come off them soon.

It's really, really hard, but I promise, it does start to fade in time.

 

[ladysarcasma]

I also had a traumatic EMCS five years ago (and I'm only now brave enough to be having my second child). Prior to that, I actually did experience induced labor for 32 hours. And I experienced having the baby pushed back IN when she couldn't get out. And the docs telling me she was in distress. Watching pulses and BPs drop. I watched the emergency unfold in the ER. I did see her when she was pulled out, but I was so sick and in so much pain, all I could manage was a half smile as they rushed her out to NICU and knocked me out under general before a transfusion from blood loss. I didn't see my baby for 2 days after that, and I laid alone in ICU. Didn't get to hold her or feed her. And in recovery, they insisted on keeping her in the nursery.

Although I did experience some of the things you say you didn't get to, I do understand where you're coming from. I didn't experience the happy, calm, family-oriented "Yay, I just had a baby!" experience. I fought for 32 hours to give birth to a baby and at the very last second was told I had failed.

This time, the section is planned. Although I still feel sad that I'll never have a baby the "traditional" way, I've gotten over it as I've gotten to watch my happy, healthy little girl grow up. I've realized that it doesn't really matter HOW she got here, but that she did, and that we're both here to enjoy that. I'm glad you came through it all OK. The memory of what you missed will fade over time, when replaced by happy memories.

 

[Banshee]

I can completely understand how you feel as I too had a general anaesthetic emergency c section with ds1. Afterwards I was very upset about all the parts of the birth both myself and my husband had missed out on. Two years later I am not particularly worried about what happened as one of the previous posters said you have so many other memories of LO that for me what happened at the birth is not as important.

 

[melissa84]

Yes! I know that my emcs was needed to save my baby's life but I can't help but feel sad and bitter about the experience. I had dreamed of a natural labor and having my baby put on my chest and nursing her right after, but didn't see my daughter until 12 hours after her birth and was never able to a good milk supply going which kills me. :C