Mom's, What Makes it So Hard?

[Eleanor ace]

I had mine in our room (in the UK SIDS guidelines say baby in the parents room until 6 months) for 6-7 months. The nursery is right next to our room but getting out of bed, walking across the room and alllll the way into theirs 10+ times a night when I was bone tired felt like so much effort . Having them in the Moses basket next to the bed meant I could reach over, get them into bed for a feed and pop them back. DS ended up co-sleeping on and off until he was about 9 months, DD wasn't a fan of it. DD had reflux so I'd have to hold her upright for half an hour after feeds, it really helped to be able to sit up in bed to hold her rather than in a chair because at least I was in bed so mentally I felt like I was getting some rest. And sometimes I could doze. She fed every hour and a feed would take 10-15 minutes, ten 30 minutes of holding upright, so only 15 minutes of sleep time and hour if I didn't grab a doze where I could!

 

[ClaireJ23]

My babies have slept in moses baskets/small cribs in our room for 6 months+ and like PPs have said it just avoids the need to get up and go across the hallway into another room in the night for feeds.

 

[luz]

The hardest thing for me was learning to live with no sleep. My entire life i have loved sleep and could sleep all day if i wanted to. Then i was blessed with two beautiful children who don't seem to have the word sleep anywhere in their vocabulary! On top of working full time, trying to clean house, and be a good mom, life is just busy and i find it hard to do everything.

 

[archangel24]

The work life balance (Or lack there of...) is the most difficult part for me. The fallacy is that you are just trying to balance those two, reality is that you are balancing them plus a marriage, plus keeping up the house, plus any pets you have, plus other children if you have them, plus any friendships you have, and you mine as well forget any hobby you HAD, and then... oh yeah... your own personal health and well being! All that being said, mine is now 18months and i am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and finding myself missing the earlier times but it's hard and its a sacrifice... no doubt.

 

[Marumi]

I was told the same...and now that I am a mother I don't find it very hard at all..
My son was even a high maintenance baby, wanting to be held nonstop...he needed to be on the move all day and I could never sit down holding him until he was 8 months. And then he became independent and easy going. What helped a lot was co-sleeping at night. He slept so much better that way and I was never tired because I did not have to get up to feed. Just boob and we both went back to sleep right away. Breastfeeding for very long also helped. The boob calms everything, solves every problem ...
Witb two it will be harder for sure but he is really grown now, going to Kindergarten or my parent's house, able to help himself with many things. I think it will be fine after the difficult newborn phase. That is the hardest part imo.

 

[minties]

Hormones and lack of sleep were hard. Being a parent is absolutely AWESOME.

 

[tu123]

Everyone is different. Every child is different. Everyone has different family support and friend support. Lots have towns have fab communities for children, some have little facilities. All these things effect how it will be. I found the birth of my third horrendous because I had s sick 13 nth old at the time too. For many reasons it was a year of hell. Living in a town with nothing, no family support, husband often away for work. It was horrible and depressing.

Now we are in a different place. New town with tonnes of things available for children's on a daily basis. Lots of lovely mums about, etc. my oldest two now 5 and three and my third a very independent and able near 2 year old.
My fourth will be a piece of cake! Lol

I'm still breastfeeding my youngest and she is still next to me in a side car for but I'll move her to her sisters too with ease I'm sure.

 

[EarthMama]

I'm on my 3rd, so obviously it's not THAT bad...

But there are days when it's just brutal. It's not even the relentlessness of it all...the never-endingness of it...the emotional toll is tough. My oldest is 3 and will be turning 4 in February and the past year has been so tough as he has learned to test boundaries nonstop and has the famous "threenager" attitude. There are days I feel as though I'm just messing up even though I do my best, nonstop...it feels like even doing my best isn't enough, some days! And that is very difficult for me to deal with on an emotional level.

Kids will work you up and work you down, take you to the heights of happiness and bliss and take you down into despair and depression...all within minutes, or multiple times a day! It's EXTREME. The hardest thing I've ever done.

However I would not change it for anything. My children encourage me to push myself harder and harder everyday and I'm growing and learning along with them.

By the way, baby stage is a piece of cake for me now. It's the easiest part of the whole parenting journey in my eyes, especially newborns, they are easy for me, sleep deprivation doesn't faze me at all. But the emotional toll of struggling with a child you love as they grow while just wanting to do your best is so so much harder.

Every mom may find an aspect of the experience difficult.