Morbid Question but curious

[lhancock90]

Can't believe how expensive funerals are.
I never considered any of this.

 

[smileyfaces]

This is really weird, I have literally been worrying about the same thing lately! My Nan passed away nearly a year ago and she had 6 kids (my dad and my aunts and uncles) and they all really struggled to pay so god knows what it will be like for me and my two sisters (one is a single parent to two kids so doesnt have much money and the other is a complete waster who has no intention of getting a job)!

Thanks Tattiesmum, really helpful info! Xxx


ETA: it gets weirder, just looked outside and a few funeral cars were passing by!! :O

 

[Harveysmum369]

Can you start a funeral plan only when you are over 50?xx

 

[TattiesMum]

Can you start a funeral plan only when you are over 50?xx

No Hon you can start one at any time - I'm not over 50!

Of course you don't actually need to use a funeral director to have a funeral ... you can buy a willow coffin online, book the funeral with your local crematorium direct (there is a fair bit of paperwork and forms but it's not insurmountable)... then collect the doctors' paperwork from the hospital and take it to the crematorium (leaving your loved one in the hospital mortuary)...

Then on the day of the funeral you can just take the coffin to the hospital in an estate car or van, get the hospital mortuary staff to put them into the coffin and take them to the crematorium for the service yourself.

There is a really good book called the Natural Death Handbook which tells you exactly what to do (and has a pattern for a coffin if you want to build one yourself) ... it sounds scary but it's a lovely personal way to honour the person who has died and it works out at about 1/2 the cost

 

[Harveysmum369]

I don't want my children to have to worry How do I go about sorting it out hun?xx

 

[hulahoop09]

Oh Hon

If you really can't afford it when the time comes then I would totally encourage you to 'stand back' and let the council/LHA take care of it ... you can still attend the funeral and pay your respects but you won't be saddled with the debt.

I'm sure that your parents or in-laws wouldn't want you to put yourself in debt

Would they do that if we work and arent on benefits though? We dont have savings though. What happens with something like that, do they scatter ashes? Xx

 

[beth_terri]

I don't want my children to have to worry How do I go about sorting it out hun?xx

Have a look on the net hun xx

 

[TattiesMum]

I don't want my children to have to worry How do I go about sorting it out hun?xx

The best way is to go to an independent Funeral Director and talk it through with them ... the best pre-paid plans are not run by FD's themselves but by specialist trusts (which means that the money you pay is completely protected in a trust fund - even if the FD or Pre-Payment Company go bust or get taken over then your money is still safe )

I have mine with Golden Charter but Perfect Choice are highly reputable as well

A good Pre-payment plan is not the same as an over 50's plan or insurance ... you only pay for the funeral you want at today's prices and then that's it - the money just sits there accruing interest without risking the capital until such time as it's needed. With Over 50's Plans and insurance you keep paying from now until death so they work out a lot more money (and often for a lot smaller return).

 

[Harveysmum369]

So once it was paid for that would be it?there wouldn't be any cost to anyone when the time came?x

 

[TattiesMum]

Would they do that if we work and arent on benefits though? We dont have savings though. What happens with something like that, do they scatter ashes? Xx

Yes Hon ... it's by collecting the paperwork from the hospital/doctor and registering the death that family make themselves liable for funeral costs.

By law we are not automatically responsible for burying/cremating our family members ... there is an expectation in law that funeral costs are to be met from the 'estate' of the deceased - in other words that each person pays for their own funeral with money/assets they leave behind. If there are none and no-one steps forward to carry the costs of their own free will then it becomes a public health issue and the state arrange a funeral - but they can't chase family members for payment

They do generally try to follow the beliefs/wishes of the person who has died in terms of burial or cremation too ... though if it's burial it will be in a 'public' grave which the person will share with others in the same position. This usually means a triple grave and it's owned by the council so no headstone can be put up but it can of course be visited and flowers etc left. We have a lot of them where I live because we have a large Catholic immigrant population who often have no family here.

If it's cremation then they will scatter the ashes in the Crematorium Garden of Rest/Remembrance, but again they will keep a record of exactly where they have been scattered so that flowers can be laid etc

Councils and Hospitals have a nasty habit of not telling people this stuff - they hope that by not mentioning it as an option then people will collect the paperwork, register the death and then have to pay for the funeral whether they can afford it or not

 

[Mummy2B21]

There are payment plans funeral directors will set up to help you can pay money weekly, they also do a basic package and im sure there is a goverment grant towards help for certain criterias. You dont need to take out a loan a payment plan would be better. And if your parents have any savings obviously that can go towards it.

 

[TattiesMum]

So once it was paid for that would be it?there wouldn't be any cost to anyone when the time came?x

In theory if the disbursement costs have risen so much that the plan doesn't cover them when the time comes, then the family might be asked to pay that difference, but the Funeral Director's costs are completely covered (and they make up 2 thirds of most funeral bills).

In practice, because the amount you have paid in rises in value year on year, the total value of the plan tends to keep pace with rising disbursement costs - I have never had to charge a family any additional sums - the plan total has always covered the funeral cost

 

[Mummy2B21]

Sorry just read upwards lol.
Im really interested in starting a funeral plan id hate to leave my kids with that. The thought of walking into a funeral directors to sort it is a bit daunting thinking this is where ill be when i pass eek thats life i guess but thank you for sharing i will definitely be considering this, Is it better to do a funeral plan tgan to save yourself in a savings you cant touch?

 

[TattiesMum]

Is it better to do a funeral plan tgan to save yourself in a savings you cant touch?

Yes

Funeral costs tend to rise by at least the level of inflation year on year ... whereas interest rates on savings are nearly always lower than the rate of inflation.

It's a bit complicated but let's say a funeral today costs £3000 ... then add, say 4% inflation, year on year for 20 years - That's £6573 for a funeral in 2032. But if you paid £3000 in 2012 then your funeral is covered.

If you invested £3000 in a savings account today ... then add, say 2% interest (I'm being generous lol) then you will only have £4458 in the account after 20 years - not enough to pay for a funeral at 2032 prices

I'm not sure if that makes sense LOL - but hopefully you get my drift

Basically it's better value for money to buy now

 

[Harveysmum369]

I think a lot of it,is walking into a funeral directors....x

 

[TattiesMum]

I think a lot of it,is walking into a funeral directors....x

You don't need to though (mind you we don't bite ) Both Golden Charter and Perfect Choice will be able to help you over the phone and they both often have stalls in shopping malls too if you are more comfortable doing it that way

I forgot to add earlier that another benefit of a funeral plan over savings is that - should you ever need to claim benefits or go into a nursing home in the future, a funeral plan isn't counted as 'savings' that can reduce the amount of benefits you receive, whereas savings in an account can mean you won't get help when you need it.

 

[Harveysmum369]

What made you decide to be a funeral director hun?does it not upset you anymore..or did it?xx

 

[TattiesMum]

What made you decide to be a funeral director hun?does it not upset you anymore..or did it?xx

I kind of fell into the job by accident ... I'm an accountant by trade but had been doing Customer Service jobs for years and had been stuck with a company I hated for quite a while

My husband was doing work as a casual driver/bearer for a local FD and the lady who ran the office had been wanting to retire for a while but they had had trouble finding someone to replace her .... it's a really old fashioned place so they needed someone who could keep manual accounts, was good with admin all round and who was good with people & not squeamish (because we are small I also have to help with the deceased - washing, dressing, hair, make up etc).

I grew up in a rural farming village so I'm not squeamish at all - plus I was raised by a nurse to view death as a natural part of life and not something to be scared of so I turned out to be a bit of a shoe-in for the job.

I absolutely love it - it's hugely rewarding and it's rare that it upsets me (the only exception to that are babies and children - who do really affect me) ... in general though you can be sympathetic and empathise with people without actually taking on their grief if that makes sense? In fact, in order to do my very best for the families who come to me I need to be able to stay detached

 

[Harveysmum369]

When my grandad died,I remember the funeral director saying sometimes he 'feels them in the room' esp if they weren't ready to go...xx

 

[amjon]

My grandmother just died. She already had everything paid for in advance. She added my aunt to her account (and someone to pretty much everything, but the house) before she died. They paid for the meal after the funeral with her checking account, so her kids really didn't have to put anything in (other than for the flowers, but they could have done that out of the account if they wanted).